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Should Number of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Match

bkcheer12bkcheer12 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I asked 4 of my friends to be bridesmaids in my wedding, and my FH is having 5 groomsmen.  I thought it would look fine, even though our sides wouldn't match.  A difference of 1 person wasn't a big deal to me.  But now, my MOH has found out that she has to move to Germany (her husband is in the Air Force)  the month before my wedding and won't be able to attend.  :(

Should I ask someone else to be a bridesmaid?  I was okay with being one person off, but is 2 too much?  FH has 2 nieces but isn't really close with them and neither am I.
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Re: Should Number of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Match

  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    No, your numbers do not have to match.

    No, a difference of two isn't too much.

    No, do not ask his nieces to be second-choice BMs. That's rude; they'll know they were second-best and be hurt.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    bkcheer12 said:
    I asked 4 of my friends to be bridesmaids in my wedding, and my FH is having 5 groomsmen.  I thought it would look fine, even though our sides wouldn't match.  A difference of 1 person wasn't a big deal to me.  But now, my MOH has found out that she has to move to Germany (her husband is in the Air Force)  the month before my wedding and won't be able to attend.  :(

    Should I ask someone else to be a bridesmaid?  I was okay with being one person off, but is 2 too much?  FH has 2 nieces but isn't really close with them and neither am I.
    No!  You don't need even sides.  Don't worry about it.
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  • pends123pends123 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    No one will notice or care. You chose your wedding party because they are important people in your lives, not because you had to match sides and they were available. Even if you only had one BM and your FI still had his five it would be okay because of the meaning of them standing with you. It's no big deal :)
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  • misslobitamisslobita member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    The number on each side doesn't matter. For our wedding, we know that one of the best men may not be able to make it but may not know until shortly before the wedding. FH was concerned about number on each side but we talked about it and he doesnt want to replace him and I agree. instead we plan to still list the guy on all the paperwork, he is stillimportant to us! It will be beautiful no matter what ( :
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    As long as they all wear the same color of underwear, it works out with uneven sides. Something about the universe and cosmic plans and whatnot. It's all very scientific.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • bkcheer12bkcheer12 member
    First Comment

    Thanks!

    Misslobita, I am thinking of doing the same thing.  My MOH has been my friend since first grade.  I'm thinking I'm still going to list her on the program even though she isn't there because I want her to still have that honor.  And I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings by making them think I only chose them as a replacement.  I'll stick with my 3 friends :)

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  • cmcole4509cmcole4509 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Sides shouldn't matter. Not sure what type of personalities you have but you could always try for something funny like two GM escorting one BM I guess. But definitely don't worry about sides. It will all work out!
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bkcheer12 said:

    Thanks!

    Misslobita, I am thinking of doing the same thing.  My MOH has been my friend since first grade.  I'm thinking I'm still going to list her on the program even though she isn't there because I want her to still have that honor.  And I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings by making them think I only chose them as a replacement.  I'll stick with my 3 friends :)


    This sounds like the perfect plan.
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    RetreadBride said:
    How is it an honor to her if she isn't even there??
    Eh, victimless crime.
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    RetreadBride said:
    How is it an honor to her if she isn't even there??
    /shrug

    She was asked to be and accepted the role of MoH and something just came up. I've seen people do this before and I've never personally side-eyed it; maybe I'm in the minority though. I just kinda see it as "this is person is also my nearest and dearest and would otherwise be standing beside me too."
    The only time I was kinda "uh..." about it was at my husband's brother's wedding where he put their deceased brother in the program as an "honorary groomsmen" despite his having been gone 10 years.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah, I wouldn't even think of having her on the program if she A.) wouldn't be there, and B.) won't ever see the program.  If there was some way she'd get one, that might make it worth while.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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