oh sweet fancy moses.

hmonkey · May 2013

Dear Amy: I've been divorced for four years. My daughter chose to stay with me. Her friends and her school were here; she is also closer to me than her mother. She is 18 now and away at college.

She has had a close friend for three years. This friend attends college here in town. Her friend and I enjoy each other's company. The girl just turned 18, too. My daughter suggested that I ask her friend out and said that her friend would say yes.
I said, "You're my daughter, and she's your friend. Wouldn't that be weird for you?" My daughter laughed and said that she can handle it. She is mature for her age.
I'm 44 years old. I like the girl, and I certainly find her attractive. Is she off-limits? — Divorced Dad

jojobrn · May 2013

Good lord.

DixieNormous330 · May 2013

EW!

VarunaTT · May 2013

I don't care that it's the daughter's friend. But I'm always going to find more than 10 years separating a couple kind of icky, no matter who is December and who is May. I recognize that "icky" is incredibly immature of me, too.

Wzz · May 2013

what is the response. i mean, really.

NOLABridesmaid · May 2013

Did he need to write in for an answer to this? I'm going to name his daughter Lil Pimp for short.

hmonkey · May 2013

i mean, the situation is straight out of bill and ted's.

hmonkey · May 2013

you know the real response from amy was "that's it -- i quit." but what she wrote was:

Dear Dad: Yes, she is off-limits. Now that your daughter is in college, you and she should develop separate orbits where you can each grow and change and have differentiated private lives. In addition to the yuck factor built into this cozy triangle, I believe that every 18-year-old should be off-limits to dating a 44-year-old. But that's me. When Woody Allen dated a 17-year-old in the movie "Manhattan," he mused about his situation: "I'm dating a girl wherein I could beat up her father."

Wzz · May 2013

that's what he likes about HS girls. he gets older, and they stay the same age.

hmonkey · May 2013

i don't have a problem with 10+ year age difference. i do have a problem if the may portion ends with "--teen."

PMeg819 · May 2013

zsazsa-stl · May 2013

hmonkey said:

i don't have a problem with 10+ year age difference. i do have a problem if the may portion ends with "--teen."

^^this^^

@VarunaTT , I'm giving you a side-eye.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Gross!

Oface4eva · May 2013

*heeby jeeby dance*

VarunaTT · May 2013

Side eye me all you want. I think 26/52 is a little off too. Not b/c I don't think it can happen, but b/c there are stages of life and why would you want to be with someone who can't match your stage? And as a 26 year age difference continues, you really think a 50/76 are going to be kicking it?

It's not for me. And I do find the entire cougar/chickenhawk ideas gross.

zsazsa-stl · May 2013

I think the creepy part is the predator part of the scenario.

And "not for you" is fine. But to declare it gross in all/most situations isn't fair. I'm disappointed that someone as open minded as you thinks that it is okay to judge the personal decisions of mature, informed, non-teenager adults as "gross." A lot of people think same-sex couples are "gross" but you wouldn't put up with them saying that here.

Wzz · May 2013

as someone who is not as open minded as a lot of pc folk here are, there are way more gross things people can do with one another than to find love with someone who is a couple of decades older than they are.

that said, -teen is way too young for almost anyone who also isn't -teen IMO.

VarunaTT · May 2013

I'm sorry for "icky".

But it doesn't change my standard opinion: If someone were to ask me if I think they should date/marry some that much older/younger than them, I would say no, regardless of gender/sexuality or where they fall into the age spectrum.

ReturnOfKuus · May 2013

It's the power imbalance that always exists, that other people can see even while the couple swears up and down that it's fine, that makes me sit on Varuna's side.

But seriously, where in the hell are all the college boys that this girl wants to date some guy who is too old for me?!

NOLABridesmaid · May 2013

You know what I find more "icky?"

That ol' girl wants to set up her dad with her friend.

VarunaTT · May 2013

ReturnOfKuus said:

It's the power imbalance that always exists, that other people can see even while the couple swears up and down that it's fine, that makes me sit on Varuna's side.

That's pretty basically why for me. I just didn't feel like getting into all of it.

Englishteacher26 · May 2013

I don't want to sound immature but more than like 10 years separation is yucky. I'm sorry, but, you're old enough to be her father. How would you feel if your daughter brought home 44 year old boyfriend?

scully931 · May 2013

I just want to address the idea of generalizing all 10+ age gaps as"icky" or "yucky". I am getting married this Saturday to a wonderful man who is 11 younger than I am. It will be the first marriage for both of us. If you meet us you would never guess there was much, if any, age difference. Our families are thrilled and we both feel lucky. There is absolutely nothing icky or yucky about us or our relationship.

SVike · May 2013

My fiance has a friend, 18, who is dating a 31 year old man. He is divorced and has two children, and at least one of those children has walked in on them having sex. With a 14 year age gap he could almost be her father, in fact when I met him he said almost proudly that he started smoking only a year after she was born. But I also think that the older a couple is the less inportant their relative ages are. Though generally if someone is old enough to be your parent you probably shoulldn't date them. Especially if you still live with your parents.