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"In memory" question

veragabidovaveragabidova member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hi.

Both of us have lost some of the grandparents and would love to somehow incorporate them in the ceremony.
Can someone suggest ideas?

I am having a Jewish ceremony.(if that matters for this question)

TIA!
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Re: "In memory" question

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    brielleinlovebrielleinlove member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    I'll preface this by saying that I know doodly-squat about Jewish ceremonies, but I think the best way to honor the deceased at weddings is with a small remembrance that you carry on your person.  I am also okay with the idea of including family wedding photos on the gift table (including those of the deceased and living), but some people are not even comfortable with that.

    I would ask your living grandparents and your parents how they would feel about these kinds of touches.  This is a really personal, sensitive topic and the answer will differ from family to family.
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    HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    You can make mention of it in your program or do something personal like carrying their photos with you but I would advise against anything public like a memorial candle, empty chairs, roses etc because it puts a sadness on a happy event and could make some people very sad.
     
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Talk to your officiant, but Jewish weddings don't generally mention the deceased.

    It is completely acceptable, reasonable, and beautiful to mention them in wedding programs, to carry or wear something associated with them, and to provide food, drink, decorations, and entertainment that they would have enjoyed.

    But no photos on empty chairs, because that can be too morbid, especially for those who have to sit near them.  Jewish "memorials," by the way, do not involve flowers.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    That empty chair thing would freak me out.
    I agree with pps, I think something subtle and personal is the best way to go.
    I'm sorry about your grandparents, by the way.
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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We have the names in the programs and our officiant is also going to read the names. For the record we are having a non religious ceremony. I think whatever u choose to do, subtlety is best.
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