My first of many panics

sunni96 · May 2013

So our Save the Dates have gone out and we sent a lot of those to people that were more of a formality than anything and would have never thought they would come. I was expecting maybe 35 people in all including us. We have had ALOT of responses from the STDs saying they are sooooo looking forward to coming. None of these responses have came from the 35 that I knew were coming. Oh lord, is my reception budget going to double??? I should have thought about how much I love having a reason to go to Vegas and that others probably feel the same! Feeling a little sick in the tummy right now.

Valeriecruz82 · May 2013

I know how you feel!! I was expecting 20 including the bridal party..now after the STDs we are at 47! I'm in panic mode

vegasgroom · May 2013

You'd be surprised. We invited some good friends from years past that had just kind of fallen out of weekly/monthly contact and next thing you know they're all coming. I think we had about 80% of our invitees come while we expected half at most.

Kimberlybfpc · May 2013

We invited 93, after cutting out a lot of people, and I am freaking because I think about 70 or so are going to come. I can't believe that many are coming, but it's Vegas, which is cheaper than Mexico, or The Dominican, etc, so I think it's a lot more feasible for people to go, and gives them a reason for taking a vacation.

sunni96 · May 2013

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm sure that things might change for some once the invitations go out. I'm just glad that I sent the STDs out at the year mark so now I still have time to adjust the budget. VG, I bet you were panicked at one point with 125. Still can't believe that.

missmo14 · May 2013

We had the same freak out Sunni. We have sent STD to 72 guests. We are hoping for between 30-40 but we have budgeted for 50. Most of our guests seem really excited about it and cant wait but the $1300 airfares and cost of hotel rooms, food etc may bring in a few 'no' RSVPs.

wrigleyville · May 2013

This proves the old TK adage of "STD = invitation". Never send an STD to someone unless you plan to invite them.

Also, I'd hate to think I was given an STD as "just a formality" and that the B&G don't actually plan on my attendance.

That's... kind of rude. If you don't want those people to come but want them to know your wedding date, you send wedding announcements after the fact. An STD is a heads-up to make travel plans and ask for vacation time; that's the entire point of the phrase "Save the Date".

I know the ship has sailed in your case, but I'm posting this for future brides who search the boards.

wrigleyville · May 2013

missmo14 said:

We had the same freak out Sunni. We have sent STD to 72 guests. We are hoping for between 30-40 but we have budgeted for 50. Most of our guests seem really excited about it and cant wait but the $1300 airfares and cost of hotel rooms, food etc may bring in a few 'no' RSVPs.

Why on earth do people invite more people than they can afford? I will never, ever get past that.

Always, always plan on 100% attendance. If you end up with fewer people, you can use that extra money to upgrade the alcohol package, buy more flowers, splurge on your honeymoon, etc.

EmiliaC01 · May 2013

I've read to plan for full attendance and if you can scale back later money wise due to lower attendance, great. I booked the chapel, buses, etc with the total guest count in mind. Will the chapel you selected accomodate everyone if more guests RSVP? People may change their minds later too... Best of luck!!

sunni96 · May 2013

Well first off, I can afford everyone to attend if that is what happens so that is not the issue here. Second, the label formality is something our guests would never see hence one of the purposes of this board.... to be able to speak freely. Everyone's situation is different and some times people invite people because its the right thing to do. So..it's not that I didn't want them to come its more that they caught me off guard by saying they are coming. Just a note here, I am talking about immediate family too. So just as a thought, I would keep an open mind when you respond to other people's post.

Valeriecruz82 · May 2013

Ok this post has just irritated me. Talk about being rude!

vegasgroom · May 2013

sunni96 said:

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm sure that things might change for some once the invitations go out. I'm just glad that I sent the STDs out at the year mark so now I still have time to adjust the budget. VG, I bet you were panicked at one point with 125. Still can't believe that.

Fortunately I had a good plan for that. We over-invited the number of people we could seat by only about 5, so I wasn't too worried about that aspect. The F&B minimum for the restaurant was all we were going to spend either way, so I just adjusted the menu based on how many people ended up coming; for example, originally the menu choices were going to include lobster, but once we got past 75 rsvp's that got cut lol.

sunni96 · May 2013

That is smart. I am looking at doing something similar too now.

missmo14 · May 2013

@wrigleyville we can afford AND accommodate all 72 guests that have received a STD. So I take exception to your assumptions about my planning. We have budgeted for 50 at a premium package. If we get 70, we simply adjust the package. Thats why we booked a ridiculous amount of space at Maggianos and a limo and DDB tour. Similarly our menus will be based on guest attendance for budget. Of that 72 we have had to invite some 'formalities' too. These are friends of our parents and we have done so out of respect for our parents. Then there are guests like my brother who absolutely cannot attend our wedding but we invited them anyway. I know some Vegas weddings pull high attendance however I can assure you that mine will not be 100%.

KikiMira · May 2013

Are F&B min works out to be 54.6 people. lol So we are over inviting by 10. We can afford to go as high as 75 people but we do not want the shock of everyone RSVPing. We have had to cut our list by almost 100 people, which was easy. We also expect to have a couple "whiners" that they weren't invited and will end up getting a last minute invite.

AllyIdo · May 2013

I think in some cases, people get the save the date and get excited and say, "we'll be there!" But when it comes down to it and its time to book flights, take time off work, etc. and everything adds up, people will drop out. This is at least the advice from my friends who have had destination weddings.

sunni96 · May 2013

I'm sure that will be the case here! Thanks Ally.

leelabear · May 2013

Well hopefully that is a good lesson for others. If you send out StDs and expect most of them not to come, its a bit rude. It makes it look like you are just asking for money. Engagement announcements are a much better way to go.

missmo14 · May 2013

leelabear said:
Well hopefully that is a good lesson for others. If you send out StDs and expect most of them not to come, its a bit rude. It makes it look like you are just asking for money. Engagement announcements are a much better way to go.

I fail to understand your logic. How is sending a save the date asking for money?

wallacje · May 2013

missmo14 said:

Well hopefully that is a good lesson for others. If you send out StDs and expect most of them not to come, its a bit rude. It makes it look like you are just asking for money. Engagement announcements are a much better way to go.
I fail to understand your logic. How is sending a save the date asking for money?

That could backfire too, people might still take that as an invitation if you send before and then if you send after your wedding, it could be seen as a slap in the face that they weren't cool enough to get an original invite, I wouldn't send anything if you aren't planning on inviting them. JMO though. Sending a STD is definitely not a money grab either, just giving people a heads up.

@allyscud - Exactly what I was thinking too.

@sunni96 - Everything will be fine, don't sweat the small stuff.

vegasgroom · May 2013

Honestly, and I'm a bit older than most on here, I haven't seen an engagement announcement since I was a little kid. I've seen two types, mailed out, and newspaper ad. For mailed out, what is the point? Okay, so and so is engaged, why are you telling me something I'd end up hearing about anyway if it's someone I care about or have any sort of relationship with? That sounds dramatically more like a cash grab than a save the date is, since etiquette dictates an invite will follow an STD. And if someone is getting invited, per the STD, that means the bride and groom plan to spend money to host them at their reception, versus an engagement announcement which implies nothing other than hey look at me I'm engaged.

STD's are quite important for destination weddings; they let people plan for it, whether that be financial, time off from work, reservations, etc.

sunni96 · May 2013

I couldn't agree more VG. When I read that post I was thinking... Do people still do that? :-). I guess some things never change. Well, my solution to fix the problem of why I initially posted is by the menu. If my guest total stay around what I predicted then everyone will have steak and lobster on the menu. If a lot more attends then we are taking out the lobster and steak and going with chicken! Lol. I will be happy regardless as long as my man shows up.

vegasgroom · May 2013

sunni96 said:

I couldn't agree more VG. When I read that post I was thinking... Do people still do that? :-). I guess some things never change.

About as many people as still read the announcement section of the local newspaper, or a newspaper at all for that matter lol.

My first of many panics

Re: My first of many panics

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