Wedding Dances?

swimmingcarp · May 2013

I wasn't sure where else to post this, but I figure the ladies on here would be able to answer this easily enough. I was wondering what the "traditional" (for lack of better word) wedding dances/songs were. I have the first dance, the father/daughter dance, and songs for the garter toss and bouquet toss. Am I missing any? On that note, have you seen any special dances that you liked for any reason?

Oh, what order are the dances "supposed" to go in?

Also, does anyone have any suggestions for something special (not necessarily a dance, but something) to do for my fiance (or the both of us) and our daughter? She will be two and a flower girl (she'll be walking with my best friend's slightly older [5 years] daughter). This is our wedding, not hers, of course, but I wanted to do something even if it's small, if I could find an idea I love enough that isn't too weird. (Perhaps this last part belongs in the Reception Ideas board, but I figured I'd tack it on.) Thanks, first two posters!

monkeysip · May 2013

I think typically the dances go in order of first dance, then father/daughter (and mother/son), and bouquet/garter tosses later in the night. Certainly there's no rule that you have to do it any certain way.

There aren't any other dances that I think are particularly necessary or great, but some people do an anniversary dance (all couples dance, then are eliminated by how long they've been together, until there's one couple standing).

What if your FI dances with your daughter? Doesn't have to be a "spotlight dance"--still would be special. Other than that, sorry I don't have any particular ideas.

erinlin25 · May 2013

ditto what monkeysip said regarding dances.

agree that the wedding should be about you and your husband to be. You have included your daughter by being the flower girl, so that is special enough. If you would like maybe when you and your dad do the father/daughter dance your husband can dance with your daughter at the end or something, but that would take away from you and your dad's dance so its really up to whether you want to "share the spotlight." But its not necessary to include any more than simply being the flower girl--especially at her age.

swimmingcarp · May 2013

Re: Fiance/daughter. I agree with you two, PPs. I think he'll just dance with her (he's a much better dancer than I am anyway, so I'll enjoy watching, or perhaps while they dance I'll dance with my brother/man of honor) and I'll make sure the photographer gets some great shots of the two of them. I dreamily think ahead to her her wedding day and one day getting to frame two pictures side by side, one of them dancing at his wedding, then one dancing at hers. Thanks

swimmingcarp · May 2013

monkeysip - Do you know when the mother/son dance is? I can't imagine they dance while I dance with my dad, because he and I are dancing to Butterfly Kisses. (Cliche, yes, but we've actually had that since I was five. Anyway.) My mother, often annoyingly etiquette/tradition-adhering has actually been no help with this...

daveANDkristen · May 2013

Usually the mother/son in done after the father/daughter, unless they are done together.

AJuliaNJ · May 2013

My friend and her husband already had a child when they got married. I think he was about 1 then (he was walking but not talking). In the middle of their spotlight dance, they picked him up and held him while they danced. I don't remember if someone brought him over or if one of them went to get him. I'm not a kid person at all and it brought tears to my eyes. It was a really intimate moment.

monkeysip · May 2013

Ditto daveandkristen. Mother/son usually comes after, but if you had a song that works (which you said you don't), then you could put the two together.

Really, there's no strict rules. It's your wedding. In general though, people don't like to sit through too many spotlight dances. It can get boring to watch 20 minutes of other people dancing, you know?

swimmingcarp · May 2013

AndreaJulia said:

My friend and her husband already had a child when they got married. I think he was about 1 then (he was walking but not talking). In the middle of their spotlight dance, they picked him up and held him while they danced. I don't remember if someone brought him over or if one of them went to get him. I'm not a kid person at all and it brought tears to my eyes. It was a really intimate moment.

That is beautiful and I got misty-eyed a little when I read that. Thank you so much. I'll run it by him and I think that will be perfect.

swimmingcarp · May 2013

monkeysip said:

Ditto daveandkristen. Mother/son usually comes after, but if you had a song that works (which you said you don't), then you could put the two together.

Really, there's no strict rules. It's your wedding. In general though, people don't like to sit through too many spotlight dances. It can get boring to watch 20 minutes of other people dancing, you know?

StageManager14 said:

I never heard of special songs for cake cutting or tosses before TK. It's really up to you which dances you do and in what order. If your FI and his mom want a spotlight dance, they can do it after you and your dad. If they don't, they certainly don't have to. My favorite wedding I attended had the spotlight dances broken up. The couple had their first dance as soon as they entered, the father daughter dance was right done at the beginning of dinner and the mother son dance was done after dinner, before cutting the cake. Then the dance floor was opened up for everyone else. Please be mindful of your guests. Spotlight dances are super special to you, but 20 minutes of watching other people dance is painfully boring.

Very good point. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't missing out on anything obvious/expected. I'm having a largely informal wedding, but a lot of things I have to include thanks to my mom (the banker in this event :P) or just want to include.

Stage, love the idea about breaking them up. Thanks!

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