Catholic Weddings

Grace before the reception meal

Hello ladies,

I just wanted your thoughts on the blessing at the reception.  Since he has to celebrate evening mass, our priest won't be at our wedding reception.  I only have a few Catholic friends, none of which are either willing or suitable to say the blessing.  We have some non-catholic christian family/friends, but we'd really prefer a Catholic to say the blessing.  Would it be weird for my fiance or I to say it?  Or should I just ask one of the non-catholic christians? 

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Re: Grace before the reception meal

  • I think it would be fine for one of you to say it.  There's plenty of non Catholic Christian receptions where someone not in the clergy offers a blessing, so I don't think this would be any different.
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  • you can say it of maybe one of your parents or god parents if you wish 
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  • Don't have any godparents.  

    I'm sure my Dad would say it if I asked, but he's not very religious.  Same with FI's parents.  I just don't want it to look too AW-ish if FI or I say it.  We don't particularly want the added attention, it's just the blessing over a meal actually means something to us, and I'm not sure it would mean as much to other people we could ask to do it.

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  • Maybe tag it onto a quick thank-you to your guests/friends/family speech before the meal?  We lucked out and had a good friend who was a transitional deacon in attendance who said our prayer before the meal.
  • I was thinking that.  I would kind of like to say a little something (just a quick thank you to the guests and whatnot), so I thought I'd just say it before the blessing.  I would actually rather FI say it (spiritual head of the household symbolism), but I'm not sure he'll want to say anything at all at the wedding (doesn't like public speaking).  My Dad is more technically the host since he paid for most of the wedding, but since it is FI's and my wedding, I feel like we're also hosts and should be able to thank our guests.  

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  • Tami87Tami87 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    That's what we did. Our priest declined to attend the reception so we decided to have my husband say a blessing before the meal. My parents were hosting so my dad said a few words and thanked everyone for attending then the microphone went to H and he said a blessing. My dad is not Catholic nor very religious so he would have been uncomfortable saying a blessing and we also were unsure of who else we could ask.
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  • I think that would be very appropriate, Monkey. I don't think it's AW-y at all.

     

  • Monkey youre getting so close! We had that happen too (priest couldn't make it to dinner).  Since my dad got to do a FOB toast, we had FIL do the blessing.  He was really honored to do it.  Is your FFIL Catholic?  Or someone in the family that you wanted to have a role but doesn't have one yet?
  • Our priest didn't attend our reception, and my Baptist grandfather really wanted to do the blessing. He always does at our family get-togethers.  I didn't think anything of not having a specifically catholic blessing for dinner.  
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  • We had my non-catholic FIL say a blessing before dinner. He always leads grace for H's side when we get together so it was a natural fit for him, though.
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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2013
    There's literally only 3 other Catholics at this wedding.  One is a good friend of mine who is doing the reading, but I don't think he'd be comfortable also doing the blessing.  He won't know anyone there (besides us), and he already declined being my "man of honor" because he didn't want the attention.

    The other 2 Catholics are a friend of mine and her husband, but they don't know anyone else either, and I'm not sure they'd feel comfortable.

    FFIL is atheist, FMIL is lapsed Catholic, vaguely christian.  My mom's not coming, and my dad is protestant but I've never seen him say grace at any meal.  FI's best man is christian, but doesn't like speaking in front of people.  We have no other practicing christians, let alone Catholics, whom we're close to.  

    When I talked to FI, he was kind of uncomfortable with it (he also doesn't like speaking in front of people), so I may end up doing it.


    And yeah... ahhhh I can't believe it's only 2 weeks away!  :D

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  • I think that would be kind of sweet if you did the prayer. At the very least, do you think he would stand with you while you did the talking/praying? Then it would sort of be more coming from "both" of you.
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  • monkeysip said:
    There's literally only 3 other Catholics at this wedding.  One is a good friend of mine who is doing the reading, but I don't think he'd be comfortable also doing the blessing.  He won't know anyone there (besides us), and he already declined being my "man of honor" because he didn't want the attention.

    The other 2 Catholics are a friend of mine and her husband, but they don't know anyone else either, and I'm not sure they'd feel comfortable.

    FFIL is atheist, FMIL is lapsed Catholic, vaguely christian.  My mom's not coming, and my dad is protestant but I've never seen him say grace at any meal.  FI's best man is christian, but doesn't like speaking in front of people.  We have no other practicing christians, let alone Catholics, whom we're close to.  

    When I talked to FI, he was kind of uncomfortable with it (he also doesn't like speaking in front of people), so I may end up doing it.


    And yeah... ahhhh I can't believe it's only 2 weeks away!  :D
    Yeah, if this is the case I don't see any problem with you saying grace.  I like your idea of adding it on to a small thank you speech and just having DH stand with you so he is also involved.  
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  • That's a good idea.  He could stand with me like we're praying it together.  Thanks!

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  • Our priest also wasn't at our reception until later, after dinner as he had to do the Saturday evening mass. I know someone said a blessing before dinner. I just can't remember who it was....I hope that isn't too terrible. I think it would be perfectly okay for you or your new DH to say grace before eating.
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