Right now, I am seriously considering eloping. Regardless of family being hurt. All because of my dad.
Went to my brother's wedding in Chicago over the weekend. Didn't get to do all the sightseeing we wanted, but that's ok- we were there for the bride and groom first and foremost (though we did get to see Book of Mormon!!!)
Dad offered to pick us up at airport. Ok, nice of him. But we thought he and my mom were taking us to our hotel with maybe a stop for lunch. No. Instead we got treated to about 4.5 hours of him playing at being tour guide, while listening to a constant stream of complaining and b*tching about brother's wedding location, and how Dad "hadn't been consulted." (He had not been asked to pay for anything, but apparently did offer to cover rehersal dinner. Bro and SIL paid for everything else themselves). Around hour number 2, FI pulled me aside as if to give me a hug and said through gritted teeth "We are NEVER doing this again."
By the time we got to the hotel, we were fully exhausted (2.5 hrs sleep the night before), and the nasty attitude had been directed at others in the car, me especially. I held it together till we got to the hotel room, then burst out crying.
Dad seemed to realize what an a$$ he was being, and behaved for Saturday and Sunday for the most part. He did, however, go back on his offer to pick us up for rehersal dinner, and stated he didn't want to go back downtown (we stayed downtown, Dad and Mom stayed with friends in a suburb southwest of the main city). They had brought our dressy clothes for the wedding, shoes, hair products, and stuff we otherwise wouldn't be able to take on the plane. FI and I managed to squeeze our dress clothes into our carry ons, and luckily I had given them the almost empty containers of hair stuff (mostly for me, but it's pricey!) so we didn't have to dump much. But the kicker- Dad had no problem carting a friend of his around, picking her up and dropping her off at venue and airport, despite the fact that she was staying with her son waaay north of all the wedding stuff and downtown.
His attitude hung like a cloud over everything for me. I did get to enjoy my brother's wedding, but felt I had to babysit my Dad so he wouldn't screw with or ruin things. Brother and SIL deserved a lovely, drama free wedding and I did my best to give it to them.
As a result of this, I am seriously considering saying "screw it, we're eloping." Mom will be hurt, but she understands.
Alternatively, we can have a wedding where we've put a deposit on the venue. But we will cut the guest list by almost 30 people in order to pay for it ourselves. Dad has offered to pay for my wedding, but I don't think I want to have to deal with him and his complaints about things throughout the whole planning process. What will be interesting is if we cut it to 30 people, we want immediate family (parents, sibs, GPs) and maybe some close friends, like my adopted aunt and uncle, godparents, best buds. I'll have to see how to work this one out- I posted weeks ago about my mother telling her brother about wedding date (note, I haven't spoken to him in 5 years, haven't seen him in 8, and Mom and Uncle live on opposite sides of the country for a reason) and his asking to bring his wife, daughter, adult bio daughter, and adult bio daughter's 5 yr old. In terms of who we can invite for a max of 30, I'd rather have my adopted aunt and uncle there than my only biological uncle and his family.
Yay for wedding drama! Still telling FI we can elope to Destin and have dinner at PF Changs (his favorite place!)