Is it normal to second guess your wedding dress after it's been purchased???

Kmac516 · May 2013

So I've always wanted a poofy princess wedding dress and after trying on a bunch of dresses and being really picky, I ended up getting one completely opposite. It's a mermaid style, so it's very form-fitting and not much poof to the bottom. I love the dress but I keep thinking about the fact that I'm not gonna have the princess ball gown I always envisioned. I hope I don't end up regretting not going with that style. And part of me feels like these second thoughts I'm having means the dress I got isn't "the one." Are these thoughts and feelings normal for such a significant purchase?

OjitosVerdes · May 2013

I feel like there is so much emphasis on finding OMG THE DRESS that it's totally normal to second guess your decision! Like you, I was torn between a ball gown and more fitted style dress (you can see pics in my previous post here: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/975814/wedding-dress-stress-i-am-now-a-2-dress-bride-pick-one-or-wear-both-pic-heavy/p1 It sounds like we're in a really similar position!)

I had always envisioned the ball gown style dress, too, but after asking a few family members and friends, and the ladies here, I ultimately decided to go with the more fitted style, as it's more flattering and more "me". Letting go of expectations we've always had for our wedding day when things turn out differently is completely normal, and I'd go with the dress that makes YOU feel the most beautiful - not one that you've had in your head for years.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

What you have always envisioned usually is not what you end up with in real life. I am sure the vision you have for your wedding has changed and morphed since you first started thinking about it when you were little and even since you have gotten engaged. Same goes for your dress. You have to pick the dress that you love on yourself at this moment not what you have picture in your head.

I always thought I would wear a slim, lace, open back, dress with cap sleeves and I ended up doing a complete 180 with the dress I actually picked.

What you need to do is ask yourself these questions. Do you love the dress you picked? Does it make you feel beautiful? Can you see yourself getting married in it? If you answer yes to all of these questions then that is your dress and you need to erase your "vision" from your mind and insert a picture of your new dress in its place.

itzMS · May 2013

Great example, @ojitosverdes

For most ladies, they find the regret comes from the bridal dress shopping experience being "over" once you've purchased a dress.

Be confident in your choice, or post a picture here to get some unbiased opinions.

tortorar · May 2013

I had this - I even cancelled my order after I paid for half my dress and asked the store if I could think about it before continuing. After just having some time to think about it, I know I made the right choice and continued my original order.

I looked at pictures and went with my gut but knew I needed extra time to process it!

Do you love your dress? Did anyone influence you to buy it before you were ready? Is it just because it's different from what you imagined that's throwing you off... or is it that the experience is over and now you're sad?

Much in line with what the other girls said - just make sure you feel beautiful - regardless of the style. It's about you

SBmini · May 2013

I was super nervous that I had selected the wrong dress at first too. I knew what I wanted and the dress I got was pretty close to that in shape. The difference is that I thought I wanted some sort of unique organza or tool skirt and ended up with a very simple natural silk dress. I loved the dress when I bought it, but nearly immediately after I purchased it I was worried that I made the wrong decision. Did I rush? Is it *the one?* Did I try on enough? I almost went back a few days later to check and make sure that I did love the dress.

After I calmed down I realized that the dress is beautiful and that I will look beautiful in it. So what if I find a dress that I like 5% more than this one, at the end of the day, it's not the dress that matters but the couple and your family. I think you will be just fine.

QueerFemme · May 2013

I second guessed my dress for 7 months. I made myself insane and even bought a second dress. the vision I had in my mind was a big flashy, blingy princess gown. I ended up with a somewhat understated chiffon A-Line. It still had some bling, but not nearly as much as I had in my brain.

I bought a second dress, and ultimately, I didn't feel like it was "me", and every dress I was drawn to when I continued to shop was very similar to my original gown. The overthetop blingy ones I had in my brain looked ridiculous on me.

I ended up wearing my original dress and selling the second dress. Sometimes our childhood vision isn't what actually looks good on us in real life.

loca4pook · May 2013

Yes, it is normal and common.

I second guessed for months until my dress came in...then I fell in love all over again..

MoxieMickie · May 2013

Buyers remorse is totally normal. I had it for my dress, my house, my car, my job, my FI, & my friends have also had it for each baby. I myself thought that princess dresses me looked like non-memorable "just a dress."

Kmac516 · May 2013

Thanks for all of your comments! I feel SO much better that I'm not the only one that experiences this. I do love my dress so I know it will all end up perfect.

@moxiemickie I'm glad you mentioned your FI as well because I feel like now that we are engaged, whenever we get into a fight or he annoys me I'm like omg, this is forever! haha...i'm hoping that's normal too. if not i'll be able to wear a poofy princessy dress for my second wedding

just kidding!

Maggie0829 · May 2013

Kmac516 said:

Thanks for all of your comments! I feel SO much better that I'm not the only one that experiences this. I do love my dress so I know it will all end up perfect.

@moxiemickie I'm glad you mentioned your FI as well because I feel like now that we are engaged, whenever we get into a fight or he annoys me I'm like omg, this is forever! haha...i'm hoping that's normal too. if not i'll be able to wear a poofy princessy dress for my second wedding just kidding!

Yes that is completely normal. H and I have been together 11 years (married 2) and some days I wake up and think "God I so do not like you today." I will always love him but some days I just can't stand him and most times he hasn't really done anything to deserve it LOL! I told my Mom this one day and she said that she goes through times when she doesn't like my Dad very much (even though she still loves him) either and they have been married for 37 years. It is completely normal to be "sick" of your SO every once in awhile. But you will get over it and as long as you always still love him that is what matters. And trust me, they probably feel the same way about you every now and then

beautifulmama28 · May 2013

I had dress regret with my first dress purchase...I went in dress shopping saying no ball gowns, bought a fit and flare style, however this was roughly 18 months before our actual wedding. As month went by and the date got closer, it was a gorgeous dress but felt very prom dress like to me. I had it within my means to sell it and purchase the one I am wearing instead so it all worked out (and the one I'm wearing makes me feel amazing, I describe it as "it makes me feel on the outside the way FI makes me feel on the inside") I never really had that *say yes to the dress* moment though with tears etc.

ETA: I did end up with a ballgown (dropped waist). Funny how what I initially said no way too I ended up with lol

wiki8 · June 2013

I am starting to feel better about it, and that it is more normal! I actually just posted something similar!

premv2014 · June 2013

It's normal, but likely the unsettled feeling is not about the dress, but about something else. The dress just represents the life-changes about to take place.

Fernella · June 2013

Ask yourself, how will you feel when you look at your wedding pix in the future? Choose what you feel best in!!!

CKC11 · September 2013

I am feeling like this now. I bought a dress that was completely different as I wanted lace a Lacey back and cap sleeves. I tried on many dresses and was always like mmmmm it's nice but.... When I tried on this dress I was overwhelmed and teared up I loved that it was comfortable and sweet and I felt like it was me. My mum looked at me and said I think u found your dress ur crying. I never thought I'd be a crier. Now I'm thinking does it flatter me, is it dressy enough as I always wanted something fitted! I think I just need to wait till its altered! None of my friends have seen it as i am living in another state atm. I haven't had a chance to try it on since and the wedding is a year away. I hope this feeling of making the right choice disappears. Here is a photo before alterations I'm getting the top made more sweetheart. Do u think I should add cap sleeves?

Thanks ladies

CKC11 · September 2013

Oops photo

emmyg65 · September 2013

That dress looks really sweet and pretty! My doubts about my dress didn't disappear till after my alterations. But once its fitted to you, you'll see how perfect it is!

mommapizano · September 2013

Honestly, I think most people end up with something different than what they envisioned. Things you think will look good often don't and the dresses in the magazine often look different in person.

I was also set on lacey sleeves and they looked horrible on me! So I went with a strapless trumpet style with a much larger train than I had envisioned. I am happy with it but I was surprised what I ended up buying.

Is it normal to second guess your wedding dress after it's been purchased???

Re: Is it normal to second guess your wedding dress after it's been purchased???

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