looking for a hug...

Re: looking for a hug...

• aurianna member

  

  May 2013

  ...
  
  What???
  
  A godmother is supposed to be there for spiritual and emotional support for the child. Money has absolutely nothing to do with the price of tea in China when it comes to that.
  That makes no sense and you have total right to feel hurt.
  
  I'm not the huggy sort but virtual hugs all the same.
  

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• elizabetheleven member

  

  May 2013

  That's horrible!
  What do financials have to do with being a Godmother!? A godparent is there to raise the child in the eyes of the Lord whether it be in poverty or wealth. I'm not religious myself but I'm Italian and raised Catholic so that was what I was raised to believe when it comes to godparents.
  I'm sorry I don't have much advice other then letting it go. She made her choice.
  
  **HUGS**

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2013

  I am so sorry, that was very cruel and hurtful.

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• lifesad4nce member

  

  May 2013

  I'm so sorry. Have a hug.
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2013

  I'm very sorry.  That was a very mean and hurtful thing of her to do.
  

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  May 2013

  WTF. Seriously. Cut this person out of our life. 

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• colex member

  

  May 2013

  Thank you for all the internet hugs. It does mean a lot to me. I do think I am going to cut her out of my life, she hurt me to badly to ever repair this friendship, it can never be repaired.

  
  

  Thank you all again.

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  May 2013

  Just because I'm nosey, were you this child godparent in the eyes of a church? I know many people use the term without any religious or legal (like leaving them in a will if both parents pass) way. If you went through a church, that is so beyond fucked up. 

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• colex member

  

  May 2013

  Not yet, she is due within the next 2 weeks, she asked me when she first found out she was expecting and I readily agreed. That being said, it doesn't take the sting out any less being that it wasn't yet "official" even though part of me is thankful that she did tell me now not after a ceremony took place.

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• Weezy56 member

  

  May 2013

  Good choice in deciding to cut her from your life. You don't need friends like this.

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• loca4pook member

  

  May 2013

  OMG, so sorry. Godmothers don't have to pay for anything. They are just there in "theory"...I am so sorry..

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• kerbohl member

  

  May 2013

  I hope that it is pregnancy hormones messing with her head, but regardless this was extremely rude of her.  I hope that you feel better over this rather cruel situation soon!
  

  
  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  May 2013

  While it may take some time to see it, you dodged a bullet.  It seems she has a pretty twisted idea of what a Godmother is and how much of your life is "all about the baby."

  
  

  Personally, I'm impressed when someone can say they are having a long engagement to save for the wedding they want.  Sounds fiscally responsible to me.

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• NOLAbridealmost member

  

  May 2013

  What a bi-otch! I'm so sorry, OP. This doesn't have anything to do with the OP because we know the OP is not financially irresponsible and we know the mom wanted a godmother who was "all about baby," but I actually do understand why money would matter if the godmother will be the one who is expected to raise the baby if something were to happen to the parents (in my circle that's loosely what being a godparent entails). Obviously the baby would have any inheritance or life insurance from the parents, but I would also want to know that my choice of replacement parents were financially comfortable too.

  
  Fatty Blog

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• kerbohl member

  

  May 2013

  @NOLAbridealmost I see where you are coming from, in that the godparents are expected to raise the baby if something happens to the parent, but you definitely don't say something to the possible godparents about it and then inform them that they won't be godparents because of money.  And money shouldn't be the end-all of it, AND she was saying that OP doesn't have money right now because of the wedding. That is a short-term expense and it sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to drop OP as godparent. Assuming that OP is broke because she is planning a wedding is a little presumptuous. 
  

  
  

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• KeptInStitches member

  

  May 2013

  What an awful "friend". Hugs for you.

  

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• musicalcanadianbride member

  

  May 2013

  Your "friend" is a terrible friend. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. 

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• arrippa member

  

  May 2013

  The same sort of thing happened to me. I am so sorry and I know how betrayed and hurt you feel. If you need to talk, just pm me. HUGS

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• [Deleted User]

  

  May 2013

  The user and all related content has been deleted.

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• Anastasia517 member

  

  May 2013

  That is terrible! I don't blame you for wanting to cut off all ties with her.

  
  

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• daveANDkristen member

  

  May 2013

   

  colex said:

  Yesterday, my best friend sent me a FB message booting be from being the godmother of her baby citing financial difficulties on my part because I'm planning a wedding. I never once mentioned any difficulty financial strain just that we're having a long engagement (2 years) because we're paying for things ourselves. I'm hurt, and I feel extremely betrayed. It later came out in the conversation, which took place entirely on FB that she feels that I'm not around much and she needs someone who is willing to be "all about baby". 

  
  I think this line is the most telling.  I doubt this has anything to do with finances, as you said you haven't even mentioned financial difficulties.  I think she wants the attention on her and her child and thus can't bestow the honor on you - after all, you already have lots of attention as a bride-to-be and she can't have you getting any more.  I have a 12 year old godson who I love very much, but I don't think it makes me a shitty person to say that my life is not "all about" him. 

  Your friend sounds like a snot.  You'll be well rid of her.

  
  

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• colex member

  

  May 2013

  Thank you for all your kind words. It does help me feel a bit better.

  
  

  @NOLA I am saving up for a wedding but that doesn't mean that I'm not financially stable, I do have a career and just finished up a masters degree with plans of getting another degree in the near future. FI is also stable in what he does, so we are okay, starting out but okay. 

  
  

  I guess sometimes life just throws these things to see how you can handle them. I'm trying to remain positive through it all. Afterall, I do have a lot of good things in my life.

  
  

  Again, thank you all.  I must say, I will be on this board more after this positive experience. I cannot express my gratitude enough.

  
  

  
  

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• LAM524 member

  

  May 2013

  Awww....((hug)) this is heartbreaking!! Im so sorry that she dismissed you like this. The real crappy thing is that she tried to use your wedding finances as an excuse (I say excuse because you didnt say anything about it to her) Its disgusting to take this away from you and then try to blame it on you!!!!  I agree...you did dodge a bullet and much more hurt!  Seems to me that she has somebody else is mind. She is in for a rude awakening! NOBODY is ever all about someone elses baby!!!! No even Godparent.
  
  I agree with sxyktn812...Although a common belief, Godparents sole purpose is to lead the child in faith not replace the parents in death. At least this is with the Catholic faith.
  
  
  
  
  

  
  

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