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Inclusion Ideas

Christin202007Christin202007 member
5 Love Its First Comment
in Snarky Brides

Hello fellow Knotties.. I am new to SB and just want to say hello to you all! I look forward to joining in on the discussions on this board!

Since I'm new, I thought I'd give you a little background.. I am getting married March 29, 2014. So excited.. Planning is under way and things are going great.

I do have a few questions for you ladies.. I realize this might not be the right board, but when browsing the forums, I always seem to end up here.

My FI has a 2 year old daughter that I absolutely adore. I would like to do something special for her on our wedding day to recognize that she is very much so included in our new family unit.. I would like to do something tasteful.. Do you ladies have any recommendations?

Also, my older sister passed away at the much too young age of 24 this past October. While I know that our hearts will be heavy on the wedding day when we think of her absense, I was wondering if there is anything special we can do for her on that day? I in no way want to make this a second memorial service for her, but the fact of the matter is, my bridal party just isn't complete without her. I'd like to do a little something in her honor.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

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Re: Inclusion Ideas

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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Can you make your FI's daughter a flowergirl? That would be a great way to include her in the festivities and make her feel special.

    As for your sister, I won't be of much help. Could you have a photo of her displayed somewhere at the reception?
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Christin202007 said:

    Hello fellow Knotties.. I am new to SB and just want to say hello to you all! I look forward to joining in on the discussions on this board!

    Since I'm new, I thought I'd give you a little background.. I am getting married March 29, 2014. So excited.. Planning is under way and things are going great.

    I do have a few questions for you ladies.. I realize this might not be the right board, but when browsing the forums, I always seem to end up here.

    My FI has a 2 year old daughter that I absolutely adore. I would like to do something special for her on our wedding day to recognize that she is very much so included in our new family unit.. I would like to do something tasteful.. Do you ladies have any recommendations?

    Also, my older sister passed away at the much too young age of 24 this past October. While I know that our hearts will be heavy on the wedding day when we think of her absense, I was wondering if there is anything special we can do for her on that day? I in no way want to make this a second memorial service for her, but the fact of the matter is, my bridal party just isn't complete without her. I'd like to do a little something in her honor.

    Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

    Welcome and congrats !!

    For your FI's daughter, I would suggest maybe giving her something before the ceremony.  Maybe give her a small gift privately before the ceremony. I was going to suggest a necklace, but that is probably too much for a 2-3 year old.    The sentiment can still be the same though.  Buy her a small gift, have a moment alone with her before the ceremony and tell her how happy and excited you are to be her step mommy.

    For your sister, I'm sorry about your loss. Consider tying something of hers to your bouquet (a piece of jewelry, or a part of her favorite shirt, etc.), so you can feel like she is part of the wedding. 

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    allispainallispain member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I second the flower girl suggestion - she's the perfect age for it!

    I also like the idea of tying something of hers to your bouquet. Another idea I've seen before is to have a framed picture of a lost loved one placed on a ceremony chair (in the first row somewhere since she was your sister). However, I know that not everyone agrees with that suggestion - some people find it sad and depressing while others find it a nice way to incorporate that person. It's really a personal thing either way.
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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Ooh, I do like the ideas @cmgilpin and @allispain suggested of adding something of your sister's to your bouquet. 
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto PPs about your FI's daughter and your sister. I think making your FSD (future step-daughter) a FG will be a great way to include her. If you're not having an RB, you could put the rings in their box in her basket and have her hand them to you when the time comes. I'm not a huge fan of doing something WITH the child to make her seem part of the "family." The ceremony is between you and your FI, and while yes, she's going to be your SD, she's not the one getting married.

    As for your sister, I like PPs discussions. Also, if you're not doing a bouquet toss, you could take your bouquet to her grave the next day and leave it there. 
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    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    Christin202007Christin202007 member
    5 Love Its First Comment

    Thank you ladies for all of your suggestions.. Yes, FI's daughter will be our flower girl.. I do like the idea of no RB beings that neither of us have young boys in our families. She could just do it all and be so darn cute doing it!

    I love the idea about adding something of hers to my bouquet.. I had planned on having the florist make an additional bridesmaid bouquet for her and take it to her grave the day before.

    You guys have been so much help. I appreciate it!

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    Christin202007Christin202007 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Oh I plan on it!! We will have an abundance of pictures after this wedding is said and done!
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    kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Additionally, if you are having a program you could still list her as a bridesmaid and maybe put a little marking next to her name to indicate her as more of an honorary bridesmaid since she will certainly be there in spirit.
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    Jessa617 Jessa617 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    H father had passed away a couple years before our wedding. We did two things. My friend made a small picture pin to put on his corsage and the mother/son dance was dedicated to his father.

    Is there a song that is special between you and your sister that maybe you can dedicate during the reception?

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    cofkelcofkel member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Hi OP, I lost my younger brother two years ago so I understand. I have thought a lot about what I would do. I am sensitive to my family as I don't want to upset anyone on the day. I had a really pretty bouquet charm made on etsy with his photo. It will be pinned to my bouquet but facing me so I will see it. As for anything else, I thought about a boutonniere or flowers on a front pew for him, but when I asked my mother she said the visual would be too hard for her. so I would recommend running anything by the other people involved to see what may be a trigger. I think if I hadn't told my mom and she just walked in and saw it she would have burst into tears. My wedding is coming up in just a few weeks and I know moments of that day are going to be hard, but I think small things that are meaningful for you are whats best, and just "warn" others who it may affect so there are no surprises.
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    kryan32kryan32 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    FIs mother and grandmother passed away a few months ago and his father has been gone for over 20 years.  Our minister is acknowleging them since they won't be there for him...  This is the wording she's using when she gets to that part -

     
    This is also a time to celebrate all of those who have touched your lives, whether here physically or in spirit . . . especially, Ed’s parents, Louise and Edgar, and his grandparents. We are a part of everyone who has ever loved us, and so we remember them with love on your wedding day and honor them with a moment of silent reflection. [Ending with this prayer . . . ]

    Take care,

    Kim

     

     

     

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    hlvonbhlvonb member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    I am sorry about your older sister. I am not sure what to do regarding that but I do like the idea of making you FI daughter a flower girl. I remember when a friend of mine got married, she had a son from a previous marriage and after they said their vows, her husband turned to the son and gave him a promise ring and made a promise (vow) that he would not take the place of his father but to do everything he could to be there for the boy, etc. Maybe something like that could be a possibility? 
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