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Bridesmaid not wearing dress? What about a bouquet?

manyaroadmanyaroad member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
Hello hello! 
One of my lovely bridesmaids doesn't wear dresses, which I knew of course when I asked her to be in the wedding and don't expect her to wear one at all. We've pretty much decided on a button-down shirt that'll match the other girls dresses and suspenders. 
The only thing I can't figure out so far is what she'd carry down the aisle? I'm thinking the bridesmaids will carry paper flower bouquets I'm planning on making, but I dunno if she'd want to carry them? I dunno, if that'd work? I dunno what I'm trying to say I guess hah  She's kinda shy and I don't want her to feel like she's standing out in a way that'll make her uncomfortable. When I've mentioned that she won't be wearing a dress to some people, they're response is generally "make her, it's your wedding." But I haven't seen her in a dress since the seventh grade, so no.

Anybody have any experience like this?
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Re: Bridesmaid not wearing dress? What about a bouquet?

  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think it is really cool that you are accommodating her personal preferences in not making her wear a dress.  I would ask her if she would be okay with carrying the bouquet, and if she isn't, she doesn't have to carry anything if she doesn't want to.  I don't think it would look weird.  None of my BMs will be carrying bouquets and I think it will look fine. 

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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    You're being an awesome bride.  Props to you, people will thank you for years for throwing a gracious and lovely event.

    I would advise that you ask your BM what she would like to carry, and brainstorm with her.  Ask her if she'd prefer to carry nothing, or if she wants a bouquet too.  It could be you are worrying over nothing, and she actually does want a bouquet.
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yep. I would just ask her if she WANTS a bouquet. If she doesn't, she doesn't have to carry anything.

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  • BubblyBride75BubblyBride75
    10 Comments
    I would definitely ask her what she would prefer. I was in a wedding last year and the bride originally planned on only herself having a bouquet. Eventually she changed her mind and got bouquets for all the BMs. I was pretty relieved. I walked down the aisle alone and if I hadn't had something to hold I probably would've been so aware of my arms that I would've had weird robot arms while I was walking. I might be the only one who would worry so much about something so silly but it might be something to keep in mind when talking to her.
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  • lanibug73lanibug73 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    When I got married the first time, all of my BM wore pants, they had amazing silk pant suits, with flowing sheer jackets - and they all looked lovely - and they were super comfy for the entire night - I think it always about making them as comfortable as possible
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  • mrsB68mrsB68
    10 Comments
    Does she want to? I would ask her to brainstorm ideas with you if she's interested in carrying anything...otherwise if you're OK with her not carrying anything and she doesn't want to then it would be a decision you make together.

    When you asked her and she agreed she probably expected to do some of the traditional wedding stuff so maybe she wouldn't mind?
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  • manyaroadmanyaroad member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Haha her carrying my pup has been discussed! She said she'll do whatever as long as she doesn't have to wear a dress haha I asked if she WANTED one and she said she didn't care. SO I guess we'll just see.
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