Reception Ideas

No DD or Games at Reception?

My fiancée and I are planning our wedding and reception and while we got most things figured out, he wants to have a dollar dance and some type of game at our reception and I horribly detest this. I am not a stick in the mud either I just know if I were in my guests shoes and someone sprung a silly game on me, I would be mortified and embarrassed. As for the dollar dance? I cannot stand when people do this, it is in my opinion tacky and a lot of weddings that I have been to here in the midwest (Iowa) have had the dollar dance. My fiancée believes that this is 'tradition' and he is pretty set. I am all about compromising but these two things are something that I am strongly putting my foot down and saying 'no' to. I love my fiancée very much and we both know how to have fun but I honestly do not understand why we can't have fun without the DD and games. Should I compromise and tell him he can have one or the other and not both?

Re: No DD or Games at Reception?

  • hjay07hjay07
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member

    If he HAS to have one or the other, I would go with a game. I think games are weird and inappropriate at weddings, but dollar dances are really rude. Every wedding I have been to has had a dollar dance, but I still find them to be really tacky.

    If you can get him to go with a game that doesn't force people to participate or even watch for that matter, do it.

     

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    What kind of game? This is a wedding, not a birthday or frat party. Dollar Dances ARE tacky; you're right about that. I agree with PP. If you must do one, make it the game, but don't make people feel forced to play. Games are just awkward. Why can't people understand that dinner, some dancing and/or music, and some socializing are plenty of entertainment at a wedding?


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Team Ozzie. What does he think is wrong with normal dancing and adult conversation?
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  • Ozzie85Ozzie85
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    member

    That is what I told him. I told him that we are adults and that the majority of people that will be attending the reception will be adults, so I am not for sure why he excepts a whole dog and pony show. I am fine with eating, adult conversation and dancing however I think he believes that a lot of our guests will not dance (ie: family and some friends) and he does not want our reception to be 'lame', lol. I would rather be lame then tacky and childish.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    Why would dancing without paying a dollar for it be "lame" ?
    [Deleted User]
  • Ozzie85Ozzie85
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    member
    My fiancée said that not me,lol. I did not ask him to specify because we are not having a D.D, plain and simple. I hate saying this, but I cannot wait until the planning of our wedding is over, it's extremely stressful.
  • edited May 2013

    How about the shoe game (http://kc-wedding-dj.com/uncategorized/the-shoe-game-ask-the-right-questions/) or something similar, that doesn't require audience participation, as a compromise?  They're a little bit awkward, but not painfully so, and not much worse, IMO, than a bouquet/garter toss.

    ETA: Obviously, don't do the DD. :)

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    How about the shoe game (http://kc-wedding-dj.com/uncategorized/the-shoe-game-ask-the-right-questions/) or something similar, that doesn't require audience participation, as a compromise?  They're a little bit awkward, but not painfully so, and not much worse, IMO, than a bouquet/garter toss.

    ETA: Obviously, don't do the DD. :)

    Nonaudience participation in activities is also not sensitive of the needs of the guests.  It's just as bad to make them sit there watching but not playing, dancing, etc. as it is to force them to play games or pay to dance.
  • edited May 2013

    But by those criteria, how is something like the shoe game any different from, e.g., bouquet tosses, cake cutting, or spotlight dances?  The guests have to "sit there watching" for all of those traditional wedding events.  Look, I'm not actually a fan of the shoe game, but I don't think your logic holds up here.  Surely you're not saying that doing a formal cake-cutting where the guests stop to watch you is rude?

    ETA: Ack, sorry, the quote feature didn't work for some reason.  That was supposed to be @Jen4948, in case that wasn't obvious.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    But by those criteria, how is something like the shoe game any different from, e.g., bouquet tosses, cake cutting, or spotlight dances?  The guests have to "sit there watching" for all of those traditional wedding events.  Look, I'm not actually a fan of the shoe game, but I don't think your logic holds up here.  Surely you're not saying that doing a formal cake-cutting where the guests stop to watch you is rude?

    ETA: Ack, sorry, the quote feature didn't work for some reason.  That was supposed to be @Jen4948, in case that wasn't obvious.

    Anything that only takes a few minutes is one thing, but lots of "spotlight dances," slide shows, games, or other activities where the vast majority of the guests are not supposed to actively participate but just watch (especially if conversation isn't possible or practical while the activity is going on) for a prolonged period of time (I'd say longer than 10 minutes) don't strike me as appropriate.  I don't care for bouquet or garter tosses for other reasons, but they and cake cutting only take a few minutes.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    People who don't dance will not find it lame. People know what to expect for weddings, so it's not like they will get there and be like, What?!? No games?!? This reception blows!!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • cmgilpin said:

    Tell him the only way you are doing the dollar dance is if he lets you both strip.  that is the only appropriate way to charge your guests to dance with you.

    I like your style

  • Jen4948 said:
    Anything that only takes a few minutes is one thing, but lots of "spotlight dances," slide shows, games, or other activities where the vast majority of the guests are not supposed to actively participate but just watch (especially if conversation isn't possible or practical while the activity is going on) for a prolonged period of time (I'd say longer than 10 minutes) don't strike me as appropriate.  I don't care for bouquet or garter tosses for other reasons, but they and cake cutting only take a few minutes.
    Got it.  And I actually agree with you.  I've just only ever seen the shoe game done in under five minutes (usually right before or after the tosses, so it doesn't cause too much of an interruption), so I figure it's a pretty harmless concession for the OP to keep the peace with her FI here, assuming there aren't a million other interruptions.  I agree that if they were taking more than about 5 minutes to do the shoe game or anything similar, it would be a bad idea.
  • I will be having the shoe game at my wedding.  My mom loves it, and at my brother's wedding we weren't able to play it, so she was a bit disappointed. 

    I'll be having games set up at my cocktail hour for people to play, and since the reception is right next door, if people want to leave to go back to that room and play the games that is fine.  My relatives like to socialize by playing certain games, and though there isn't much of a gap, it should make the cocktail hour less boring. 

    What about a photo booth?  It isn't a game, but it is something entertaining.  
    imageimage
  • Thanks for all the replies everyone. I was thinking about having a photo booth however I have no idea how many people would actually use it.
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