Draft of Vows

Re: Draft of Vows

• artbyallie mod

  

  June 2013

  I like the first and last paragraphs. The middle one doesn't seem to fit, since it strays away from the actual promises, which are the purpose of vows. I think the vows in the other two paragraphs cover your bases quite nicely.

  

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• JMalettas member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

   This is nice! I think I would switch the first paragraph with the second paragraph, and start with that second paragraph. Then I would use the first sentence of the original first paragraph as the opener. I think this would flow better. 

  
  

   I agree with StageManager though, that the "forgive your weaknesses" line doesn't sound right. I would find a different way of wording it. It almost sounds like he's doing something wrong by having these weaknesses. Obviously this isn't what you're getting at, but it could come off that way from an outside perspective. You could maybe redo it by saying, "I will lean on your strengths, support & love you through your weaknesses, and encourage your dreams." Just worded a little differently, & I think it would sound a lot better. Otherwise, beautiful vows!

  
  

   

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• jenn5628 member

  

  June 2013

  JMalettas said:

   This is nice! I think I would switch the first paragraph with the second paragraph, and start with that second paragraph. Then I would use the first sentence of the original first paragraph as the opener. I think this would flow better. 

  
  

   I agree with StageManager though, that the "forgive your weaknesses" line doesn't sound right. I would find a different way of wording it. It almost sounds like he's doing something wrong by having these weaknesses. Obviously this isn't what you're getting at, but it could come off that way from an outside perspective. You could maybe redo it by saying, "I will lean on your strengths, support & love you through your weaknesses, and encourage your dreams." Just worded a little differently, & I think it would sound a lot better. Otherwise, beautiful vows!

  
  

   

  I was going to say this.

  
  

  

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• itzMS member

  

  June 2013

  Gotta be honest...

  The part of the 2nd & 3rd sentences in the last paragraph reminds me of the vow scene towards the beginning of Wedding Crashers when they're talking about being your first mate, your starboard and your port, etc. And everyone cracks up at the cheesy nature of it.

  It sounds so much better and sincere with that part taken out...

  I pledge to you my fullest devotion and tenderest care. I promise to always be faithful to you. I have given you my hand to hold and I give you my life to keep. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I will always love you.

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• aphrodite0869 member

  

  June 2013

  I think, like many others, the frist and second paragraph should be switched.  It states more of the beginning of your relationship and then the other two seem like they are how you are going to devote yourself to him and your marriage. 
  
  I actually liked the forgive your weakness thing but I'm not sure if it is appropriate to say in front of people at a wedding.  I would love to ay that to my fiancee (as we have had many a hard time) but I know that would come off as saying he does a lot wrong and I do not want him or others at my wedding to wonder why I am marrying him if he has weaknesses that need to be forgiven.  Plus if his weakness is something devastating (God Forbid) then are you sure you can forgive that. Just a thought.
  
  Other than that I think it's great!  And you helped me with ideas (in my own words of course) to start mine when I get around to it.
  
  Have a great wedding!! It's gonna be here soon!
  

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• mrschelseaarmstrong

  

  June 2013

  Hi everyone. Thanks for the advice and assistance. I truly heard all that you had to say. Some of your advice was applied but some was not but either way I appreciate your assistance. After thought, I chose to keep the "forgive your weaknesses part" as well as the "backup shooter" part. Both are totally things that maybe are too personal for outside people to understand but I know they are right for us. Either way, I appreciate your help greatly. Here are the vows I decided on:
  
  
  When I am with you, the only place I want to be is closer to you. You are my best friend and match on every level. You are my strength and comfort and with you, I feel safe and secure. You have shown me what true love feels like and for that I thank you.
  As your wife, I promise to love you tirelessly with all my heart and soul, to always laugh with you and to listen to what you have to say, even when we don’t see eye to eye. I promise to protect and cherish you devotedly, to cry with you in times of sorrow and to celebrate with you in times of triumph. I will lean on your strengths, forgive your weaknesses and encourage your dreams.
  I pledge to you my fullest devotion and tenderest care. I promise to always be faithful to you, but most of all I promise to love you without conditions, under all circumstances, through sunshine and rain for the rest of my life. I pledge to forever be your back up shooter and partner in crime. I have given you my hand to hold and I give you my life to keep. With everything I have, I take you to be my husband. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I will forever love you.
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2013

  mrschelseaarmstrong said:

  Hi everyone. Thanks for the advice and assistance. I truly heard all that you had to say. Some of your advice was applied but some was not but either way I appreciate your assistance. After thought, I chose to keep the "forgive your weaknesses part" as well as the "backup shooter" part. Both are totally things that maybe are too personal for outside people to understand but I know they are right for us. Either way, I appreciate your help greatly. Here are the vows I decided on: When I am with you, the only place I want to be is closer to you. You are my best friend and match on every level. You are my strength and comfort and with you, I feel safe and secure. You have shown me what true love feels like and for that I thank you. As your wife, I promise to love you tirelessly with all my heart and soul, to always laugh with you and to listen to what you have to say, even when we don’t see eye to eye. I promise to protect and cherish you devotedly, to cry with you in times of sorrow and to celebrate with you in times of triumph. I will lean on your strengths, forgive your weaknesses and encourage your dreams. I pledge to you my fullest devotion and tenderest care. I promise to always be faithful to you, but most of all I promise to love you without conditions, under all circumstances, through sunshine and rain for the rest of my life. I pledge to forever be your back up shooter and partner in crime. I have given you my hand to hold and I give you my life to keep. With everything I have, I take you to be my husband. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I will forever love you.

  I'd leave out this line just in case someone takes it too literally.  Otherwise, very nice.
  

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