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Wedding Party

XP MOH Toast Critique, Round 2! :)

This is just my second draft, so any feedback is appreciated! :)

"Hi, my name is *me*. *Bride*, you’ve been my best friend pretty much since the 9th grade when we sat in the back of Spanish class writing parodies to N Sync songs. Really at this point you’re more of a sister, and having you in my life all these years has truly been a gift. I love you, and it makes me so happy to know that you’ve found your other half. The way you and *groom* look at each other, the way you talk to each other, and about each other, leaves no doubt in my mind that the two of you belong together and have a lifetime of happiness ahead of you. Here’s to *bride* and *groom*."

Thoughts?

Re: XP MOH Toast Critique, Round 2! :)

  • I think it's good.  Short, sweet and to the point.  Has a nice little story about you and bride without going into 'inside joke' territory which loses everyone in the room.  If you've known each other for a long time, do you maybe have a one-line story about bride/groom?  It's not necessary, but it's the only suggested I've got.
  • Hooray! I'll try and think of a short anecdote to throw in there. Thanks!
  • Oh also, my writing sucks, so I agree with the people that did slight tweaking on the other thread. haha.  It's going to come out differently when you say it anyway-- I'm sure you won't read word for word off of a piece of paper.
  • Much better! Sounds fabulous! Good luck :)
  • GB520GB520 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think its perfect. I used to work weddings as a banquet server in college, let me tell you there should be a 2-3 minute max. Yours is just right.
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