Chit Chat

How would you have handled this?

Monday night I was sitting in our living room after dinner about to watch tv with DH.  His mom was there too.  DH was looking at some pictures in our photostream.  One of them was a photo he took of a design he is interested in for a tattoo.  DH does not have any tattoos at this time.  MIL asked what the picture was, and he said that it was a tattoo he was working on.  Needless to say, she went on a rant.  She started telling him that he is not allowed to get one.  That it's a horrible idea, and he'll regret it.  She told him to call his father and see what he has to say, because she was sure he wouldn't be pleased. . . . it went on for a few minutes.  She ended with "how will you ever be able to tell your son that he can't get one if you have one?"

1. He is 30 years old, not 15

2. We don't have a son, nor am I pregnant with any child for her to be so concerned about

3. I have many tattoos (nearly my entire back and sides are covered) which she is well aware of as she has seen me in a bathing suit.

All DH husband responded to was the son comment, saying that he didn't very well think he could tell any future child of his that they couldn't get one (as an adult) as it would be my child too.

I didn't say anything, because she's not my mom. . . . but I was very annoyed at how she acted.  After she left I told DH that I thought her comments were very rude and hurtful towards me.  He said that she wasn't talking about me, and it doesn't matter anyway because he loves all of me including my ink, and what she likes doesn't matter.  I was still annoyed with her.  (although, in all fairness I was already annoyed at her because she spent half of dinner asking DH exactly how much he'll be making at a new job he got, which is none of her damn business)

What would you have done?  Would you have said anything to her?

Re: How would you have handled this?

  • She was out of line, and your DH handled himself just fine. I would have said something similar or just "Thank you for sharing your opinion, Mom. Oh my, it's getting late - it was good seeing you, drive home safely."

    coopergirl15Nari28
  • KDM323KDM323 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I would have gone into the kitchen to get a drink, empty the dishwasher, feed the cat, (insert any reason you want here) and left FI to deal with his mother.
    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
    coopergirl15
  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I do believe that she is still of the "only criminals and drug addicts have tattoos and they all get them in dirty back alleys while shooting heroin" mentality.  Generally she is VERY concerned about appearances.  We must remember that this is the woman who took 30 minutes to do her makeup and get ready to leave the house in the middle of Hurricane Sandy after our power went out, and all the trees in our yard started falling when we were trying to get to the safety of a hotel!

    I know there are tons of people that don't like tattoos or don't approve of them. . . . with that being said, I think it just aggravates me because when she, or anyone else for that matter does something that has absolutely no affect on me or my well being at all, I would never trash them for it.  (Yes, I occasionally come on here to share judgy pants stories) but  I don't think it makes sense to say hurtful things to others when it is none of my business.

  • I think it's kinda funny that she is trying to tell her 30 year old son that he's not allowed to get a tattoo.

    My bf's mom did that a few times because, ya know, once wasn't enough. I don't have tattoos, but I have a piercing which I now know she thinks is "gross."
    FWIW, I got it when I was 18 and my mom flipped.

    I think you both handled it fine. If she mentions future kids again in regards to tattoos, FI can let her know that once a person is 18, it's out of the parents' hands, anyway.
    image
  • Sounds like your H handed it really well!  I would have been annoyed with her too, but he handled it and now you can both move on :-)


  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper

    If I were in your position I would have said something to the effect of "He's 30 you cant really tell him what to do and how WE raise OUR children is really none of your concern" but thats just me.

    My MIL is not like this, my mom on the otherhand, thougth that both me and my sister were going to back out of getting ours.

    Anniversary
    image
  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    If I were in your position I would have said something to the effect of "He's 30 you cant really tell him what to do and how WE raise OUR children is really none of your concern" but thats just me.

    My MIL is not like this, my mom on the otherhand, thougth that both me and my sister were going to back out of getting ours.

    Yeah, see I wouldn't do that.  It's always a fine line between defending yourself and meddling when it comes to ILs.  I think telling her she can't tell H to do something comes across as meddling.  

    Agreed, while I might silently think that. . . . I would not tell either of my ILs what they can or can't say to DH. . . . It's not my place to interfere with their relationship
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards