NO BRIDAL PARTY? JUST GROOMSMEN?

Re: NO BRIDAL PARTY? JUST GROOMSMEN?

• DrunkKitten member

  

  June 2013

  You don't need a MOH. I didn't have one. They all do the same thing, anyway, so there's really no need to designate anyone THE CHOSEN ONE if you don't want to. If you don't want your FSIL, don't have her, but don't make the decision based on whether or not you were in her wedding party. Weddings are not tit for tat. Your wedding party should be your nearest and dearest, so if you're not close to her, you shouldn't include her. It's also fine to just have groomsmen if that's the route you and your fiance want to go. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  <>

  Report0 Reply
• KM0427 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  No the magic 3 comes from 1 my closest friend, 2 his sister 3 my brothers longtime gf who is also one of my closest friends---- but neither of the 3 are close enough to me to have as MOH. I see no problem not having a MOH but I hear otherwise that's why I was asking. I know it doesn't have to be even. He is set on having his brother as best man, my brother, his brother in law, and bestfriend. And I'm fine with having just groomsmen. We agreed to just have the nearest and dearest only. Just wanted to see opinions.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Pebbelz

  

  June 2013

  I think it would look weird with only groomsmen and no bridesmaids, so I hope you don't do that. 

  Report0 Reply
• manateehugger member

  

  June 2013

  Pebbelz said:

  I think it would look weird with only groomsmen and no bridesmaids, so I hope you don't do that. 

  If she doesn't want bridesmaids, she doesn't need bridesmaids. It wont look weird. What would be weird would be asking people you don't really want up there to be a BM for the sake of appearances. 

  

  Report1 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  June 2013

  It's totally fine to have no attendants, 3 BMs and no MOH, or whatever.  Unless you feel close to the SIL, you shouldn't ask her.  Who could you not imagine having stand up while you marry your FI?  Follow your heart and ask that person/those people.  If it's no one, invite your close friends to sit in the front rows of the ceremony.  

  
  

  The easiest way to avoid BM drama is to limit their involvement to standing up at the ceremony.  Let them pick their own dresses (within a color and/or fabric if you prefer).  Don't expect them to get together and all be BFFs.  Don't call them together to help you with wedding planning or projects.  Even though the majority of BM drama comes from BMs trying to plan something, it's normally because the bride expects them to get together and plan a shower.  Unless they violently hate each other, having them stand up in a ceremony isn't going to invite any drama.  

  Report0 Reply
• STARMOON44 member

  

  June 2013

  I'm sorry, but no bridesmaids will look weird, people will notice, and they'll be wondering if you have no Friends. They will. You don't have to have them, but it will look weird.
  
  Your FSIL wasn't rude to not include you, and you don't need to include her.

  Report1 Reply
• KM0427 member

  

  June 2013

  I know it will not look stupid and I don't care what people assume about having just the guys & flower girl. I'm really just decided what I'm going to do, not how it will look and what people would think. I've seen this before. It is not something out of the ordinary.

  

  Report1 Reply
• Kate61487 member

  

  June 2013

  You don't need a MOH (or BMs at all).  It sounds like you'd like to have BMs but think it's too much drama (at least, that's what I'm getting) - as PPs have said there doesn't need to be any drama if you don't make them do anything / get together. 

  You don't need to add your FSIL, but I want to make it clear that your FSIL did nothing wrong by not having you.  You said yourself you're not close.  Why on earth would she put you in her BP if you're not close?  Dating a guy's brother (even for 8 years) doesn't give you dibs on being in the WP.  I think you need to let go of your resentment over this.

  

   
  

   Married Bio

  Report0 Reply
• KM0427 member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  It's not about the drama and even if I had bridesmaids I wouldn't have them do anything anyway. I wouldn't bother people to do stuff. I'm just trying to keep it simple and that is my goal. I just learned from friends who were married with big bridal parties, a lot of the times I see who doesn't talk anymore, etc.. who puts people in because they know them since they're 5, who drops out the day before. I want to look back at my pictures and everyone is still in my life not put in 8 girls just because & in the future we're not as close. (just incase) That's a little sillier to me than not having any, because "it looks bad". That's the dumbest comment ever. I'd like to think I'm keeping it very intimate and friends would not be insulted.

   

  and FYI- I do not have any resentment to FSIL at all. Fiancé & his family were more insulted than I was. Anyway, Problem solved if I decide on my 3 she will not be included. lol

  

  Report2 Reply
• aurianna member

  

  June 2013

  kathybabezz1 said:

  It's not about the drama and even if I had bridesmaids I wouldn't have them do anything anyway. I wouldn't bother people to do stuff. I'm just trying to keep it simple and that is my goal. I just learned from friends who were married with big bridal parties, a lot of the times I see who doesn't talk anymore, etc.. who puts people in because they know them since they're 5, who drops out the day before. I want to look back at my pictures and everyone is still in my life not put in 8 girls just because & in the future we're not as close. (just incase) That's a little sillier to me than not having any, because "it looks bad". That's the dumbest comment ever. I'd like to think I'm keeping it very intimate and friends would not be insulted.

   

  and FYI- I do not have any resentment to FSIL at all. Fiancé & his family were more insulted than I was. Anyway, Problem solved if I decide on my 3 she will not be included. lol

  
  Well it's good you wouldn't have BMs do anything for you because a BM isn't supposed to be asked to do anything other than buy the dress, show up on time, and smile for pictures.
  This sounds pretty much exactly what you'd want from your bridesmaids, so if you choose to have them, that will work out quite well. It's nice to see a bride without big, unjustified expectations of a bridal party.
  
  Totally have as many or as few bridesmaids as you want. There is no need to designate one of them with the honor position if you do have any.
  
  If you do decide to have them, ways to avoid drama / having the BMs do things
  -Graciously decline any showers or parties they might offer
  -Do a sweetheart table and sit the bridesmaids with their respective social groups at the reception.
  -Skip the rehearsal (and therefore the rehearsal dinner) unless having one is totally necessary.
  
  I think it's great that you're very earnest about only picking bridesmaids if you think they'll be in your life. If there are any of these three girls you think might not be in your life later then I could see not asking them. But I know I kind of looked at it as having the people nearest and dearest to me stand up with me on my wedding day. If those are the only types of girls you pick, I wouldn't predict a lot of regrets in the future.
  
  
  You sound like you have sound grasp on things. Lots of options here and none of them are really wrong.
  

  Report1 Reply
• KM0427 member

  

  June 2013

  thank you to the most recent posts. It's nice to see compliments rather than getting my head cut off lol

  

  Report2 Reply