Destination Wedding - I live in the destination!

darlingdarlene13 · June 2013

I originally posted this in another category. This is my first post, please ignore the error!

So HELLO to all the future brides out there! I am about a month into being engaged and am at the very early stages of planning my wedding. I live on Maui, and after a bit of thought we have decided to have our wedding here on the island. We understand this puts our family and friends in a tough spot, having to fly all the way to an island in the middle of the Pacific to come see us get married. My question I pose to you is...do you feel it is necessary to have reception in our hometowns, out of respect for family that cannot make it to our wedding? We would like to lean in that direction, but I am wondering how elaborate the hometown receptions need to be. Obviously, we are working on a budget...and the travel alone is very expensive! Thank you very much for your etiquette advice

winelover123 · June 2013

Nope - not necessary at all. Just have the one reception where you are and if you'd like a big ol' barbeque or something in your hometowns later, feel free. I'd steer clear of calling it a second reception though. Just a thought - you can always stream your wedding if people want to watch the ceremony but can't make it. If one of my BMs can't make the wedding, we're putting her on skype for it!

tiny speck · June 2013

I was in the same kind of situation as you. H and I live in England and have for nearly 5 years, but we are both from North America (different parts) and all our family still lives there. We briefly considered the idea of having separate receptions, but I quickly realized I would feel dumb celebrating our marriage multiple times, especially if our families would expect us to cut cake and get all dressed up again (and I know they would have wanted that). Not cool.

So we had our wedding in England (after clearing it with our parents), invited who we wanted to come, and those who were able to came. Only our parents and siblings were able to come from overseas, but having them there with our English friends ended up being great. I don't regret doing it this way at all.

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

Maui only.n

Kate61487 · June 2013

I agree w/ Maui only. You can always have a BBQ (ideally not wedding related; just "look who's in town") in each place the next time you're there and could take your wedding album in case people want to see photos. I agree that streaming it could be nice for anyone who can't make the trip as well.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

Just Maui. *jealous!!!* If someone offers (don't ask for one) to throw you a shower in the continental US, your guests who can't make it out to Hawai'i for the actual wedding might be able to make that work.

FI and I are in our "destination" (he's from another part of the country so his side is traveling), and I am shocked at how many people are actually RSVPing that they're coming. We had a column on our list called "likely coming" and it's totally wrong now that we're actually getting RSVPs. And we're not even in a cool destination like Maui!

misssunshine17 · June 2013

Just have it in Maui. Anything else, to me, gives the idea of the non-Maui guests are second class.

Jen4948 · June 2013

Have it in Maui (I'd love to be able to visit there someday, haven't made it there yet).

annathy03 · June 2013

Glad to see this thread. FI and I live in Vegas but are from the Midwest, so the wedding will be where we live, but it's a flight for 90% of our guest list. We plan to bring photos and a DVD of the ceremony to the first set of holidays for any family members who'd like to see either if they couldn't make the trip.

lyndausvi · June 2013

Nope.

I was in a similar situation. I lived in the Caribbean. We decided to have the wedding closer to the family because we really wanted certain people there and there was know way they would be able to afford to come to the islands. In our case, our families live a few hours from the beach so I could still have the beach wedding I always wanted. I can't say I would have made the choice if they lived somewhere in the midwest or something. Had we had it in the islands we would not have considered having any special celebrations back home. Honestly when DH and I are back at our individual families there is always some sort of get together anyway.

beachbum7212 · June 2013

I'm in your boat as well, we live in Key West and are getting married here as well, our families and friends live in VA. It's unfortunate that some people will not be able to afford to come down here, we plan on making a trip home a few months after to see everyone, were also hiring a videographer so if anyone really wants to see what they missed ill be able to show them.

jemmini6 · June 2013

Have it all in one place! Even in non-destination weddings, not everyone can make it to a wedding, it's just how it goes.

PS: I'm jealous! If we could reasonably make it happen, H and I would move to Hawaii in a heartbeat, but we just settle for going as often as we can. We're actually looking to go to Maui in November :-)

Destination Wedding - I live in the destination!

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