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to make her happy

speedyblazer11speedyblazer11 member
Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
in Moms and Maids
So today I was put on the spot by my FMIL. She wants me to have my FI two nieces to be in our wedding as a jr bridesmaid and a flower girl.  I am not close to either of them we (FI and I) only see them about once a year. So today she brings them up to work and asked right in front of them if they could be included in the wedding. I didn't know what to say so I said I wanted to ask my FI. She is not paying for anything but the flowers (and their clothes should they be in the wedding) so I know I don't have to have them in the wedding but I know I won't ever hear the end of it if I don't have them.  And its' not that I don't like the girls they are perfectly nice girls I just wanted a small wedding party. 3GM and 2BMs. So what do ya'll think? Should I make her happy or should I put my foot down and hurt their feelings and piss her off?  Side note I will not give them crap jobs like cake cutter or program hander-outter.
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Re: to make her happy

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    speedyblazer11 said:
    So today I was put on the spot by my FMIL. She wants me to have my FI two nieces to be in our wedding as a jr bridesmaid and a flower girl.  I am not close to either of them we (FI and I) only see them about once a year. So today she brings them up to work and asked right in front of them if they could be included in the wedding. I didn't know what to say so I said I wanted to ask my FI. She is not paying for anything but the flowers (and their clothes should they be in the wedding) so I know I don't have to have them in the wedding but I know I won't ever hear the end of it if I don't have them.  And its' not that I don't like the girls they are perfectly nice girls I just wanted a small wedding party. 3GM and 2BMs. So what do ya'll think? Should I make her happy or should I put my foot down and hurt their feelings and piss her off?  Side note I will not give them crap jobs like cake cutter or program hander-outter.


    First, speak with your FI.  Then when you two decide together, what you want, your FI tells her.  So if you don't want them in your WP, you FI will say to his mom "Mom, I know you really want Katy and Sally to be in the wedding.  But we have decided together to that our WP is set and that Katy and Sally won't be in it.  So please do not put Speedy on the spot like that again.  It's not fair to her or the kids."  And if the girls will be invited to the wedding, FI should end with "We cannot wait to see Katy and Sally at the wedding, but they will be attending as guests and this is a final decision."  If she continues to bother you with the kids being in the wedding, FI will just need to become more forceful in his answers back to her.  ie, "This is our final decision", "This topic will no longer be addressed", etc.

    I'm glad you were able to put the answer off.  Many people would have just said yes to avoid any problems.  But you were right to tell her you would speak to FI first.  In the future, your FI speaks to his family and you speak to yours if there are any problems.

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  • speedyblazer11speedyblazer11 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    That's what I thought too.  I just wanted to make sure I wasn't just being crazy.  Thanks ladies!
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