Paging Catholic Offbeats - Is this stealth wedding plan ok?

Re: Paging Catholic Offbeats - Is this stealth wedding plan ok?

• ElleSAppelle member

  June 2013

  Thanks for the reply, but I think I didn't express myself well and was misunderstood, so I'm going to use your post to clarify the situation.
  
  

  Schatzi13 said:

  I'm not Catholic, but I'm not sure that matters here. What are you asking?
  

  
  

  If you're asking whether you, as a Catholic, can get married outside of the Church building, the answer, as I understand, is exactly what you've written in your OP: you can, but you will be out of communion with the Church. You and your FI would need to talk with your priest about what that means. (I don't think this is your question, but just in case.)
  

  I am trying to ask a Catholic or someone knowledgeable about Catholicism about the religious status of the outdoor space as I wish to be respectful of religious beliefs even if I do not share them.
  
  I am NOT asking about the status of Catholics marrying outside the body of the church.  I related a story about a Catholic whose priest refused to conduct an outdoor ceremony and I think that caused some confusion over the terms inside and outside of the church (body vs building). 
  
  The priest had no issue with the actual marriage and was willing to marry them within the church BODY but would only conduct the ceremony inside the church BUILDING, not in the great outdoors. 
  
  This incident, plus the fact that I've never known this church to hold a mass outdoors - not even on May crowning - makes me think only the church building and old cemetery are considered sacred space and the courtyard, lawns and gardens are not.  However, I am not positive of that - thus the question.
  
  

  Schatzi13 said:

  If you're asking if you can sneak onto Church property and get married without their permission, that seems unethical and dishonest, which is not the way I'd like to start my marriage. Plus, while churches tend to be open to the public, they are still on private property. If you do something there without permission, you could be charged with trespassing.

  Whoa!  This is definitely NOT what I am asking and I do not see how this could be considered trespassing.
  
  A non-profit organization I belong to leases operational space in a church-owned building that the church no longer uses.  Once a year, the non-profit also rents the outdoor spaces for an evening and holds fundraising events .  The non-profit has to provide the church proof of liability insurance, so I think it is pretty clear that the space is being handed over to the non-profit for the evening.
  
  We would be purchasing 4 VIP tickets for the evening.  I don't see that as sneaking or trespassing.  Trespassing is a legal term and I think legally we are fine as the church has leased out the space for the night, we will present at the tenant's invitation, and our private speech will not disrupt the tenant's event in any way and in fact benefits the tenant financially. 
  
  My sole qualms surround trying to be sensitive to other's beliefs.
  
  Schatzi13 said:

  
  

  Asking the church directly is really the simplest and most honest solution. Perhaps they would be willing to let the two of you and your officiant have your ceremony, since it's only the three of you. Perhaps not, since it's not a Catholic wedding but on their grounds. Priests are good at keeping things confidential.

  Some priests are.   This is a gossipy town and I think this priest sees anything outside the confessional as fair game.  I knew a lady who didn't tell anyone she was going in for surgery.  It was supposed to be outpatient, but they kept her for a night due to bleeding.  However, hospital  records indicated she was Catholic and approved clergy visits.  Father stopped by.  Somehow word got around that she'd had rectal surgery.  You do the math.
  

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• Vintagelove4 member

  

  June 2013

  This reminds me a lot of the movie 500 Days of Summer.
  
  Personally I think it's a wonderful and different idea. Seeing as the space is being handed over for the evening, and it's not a sacred space, I don't see it as some thing wrong. Although the photographer might give you away. Just be prepared in case someone interrupts.
  
  I'd also suggest maybe a short ceremony for the same reason.
  

  

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• ElleSAppelle member

  June 2013

  Thanks for the redirect to the other board.  I think I found my answer though: http://bustedhalo.com/features/must-catholics-have-their-wedding-in-a-church
  
  
  

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