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Wedding Etiquette Forum

confused by STD

I just received a STD for a wedding on Aug 3rd. I'm pretty sure since the wedding is 2 months away this STD should be an invitation. The STD says invitation to follow but I'm just so confused. Why send out the STD when invites should be going out? Has anyone else ever encountered this? 

Re: confused by STD

  • They probably got engaged recently, didn't look into typical timelines, and didn't realize STD are optional.
  • Ditto Xstatic. They probably just don't know what they are doing.
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  • The couple has been engaged for over a year now. However, she may not know timelines and such. Thanks ladies
  • Ditto PPs. Naive, but hey we all have those moments. It's kind of awkwardly cute. :)
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  • My parents got an STD from their great nephew one month before the wedding - no formal invite, and a note saying what they could wear (shorts included).  REALLY TACKY.

    FYI - the marriage only lasted seven months....
  • Check the postmark on it, maybe it took a little trip between the time it was sent to when you received it. I've sent things (usually overseas though) the for some unknown reason have taken 1 1/2 months to get to the receiver. They didn't live in the middle of no where either. Other times, they have gotten things in a week.
  • Yeah, I'm with Erika - it may have been sent some time ago and got lost in route thanks to the USPS (that happened to a few of ours - we had guests receive theirs around a month ago when we sent them in January). If not, maybe they just didn't know.

    Or... I hate it say it... you may have been B-listed. But normally B-listers don't receive save the dates. Maybe they were trying to save their heinies.
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  • Yeah, I'm with Erika - it may have been sent some time ago and got lost in route thanks to the USPS (that happened to a few of ours - we had guests receive theirs around a month ago when we sent them in January). If not, maybe they just didn't know.

    Or... I hate it say it... you may have been B-listed. But normally B-listers don't receive save the dates. Maybe they were trying to save their heinies.
    (GASP!) The plot thickens.... ;)
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  • In FI's family, if you don't send out a STD, people freak out. The old people WANT the pictures. I was asked for extra copies of the post cards.

     I trump all the Kitties with cuteness!!! Bhahahahaha!!!

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  • We sent our STD's about a month ago, our wedding is August 31st. We sent them after the normal timing because our wedding is on a holiday weekend, and we wanted everyone from out of town to know in case they were going to make other plans.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I'd assume either B-list, or the bride found an idea on Pintrest and had no idea when was the proper time to send out STDs.
  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    There's no official rule book for weddings, which has advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages: there are people who are seriously clueless and end up making everything really confusing for guests.

    My brother-in-law and sister-in-law announced their engagement 5 months before their intended wedding date. It went from a casual picnic reception to a still-somewhat-casual but much more traditional wedding ceremony and reception. They sent out save-the-dates and invitations extremely late, and not to everyone (I was never formally invited, even though they assumed I was coming), and they kept NOT telling people what time the ceremony or reception started, or when the reception ended (not everyone was invited to the ceremony).

    Basically, I know there's no official rulebook, but sometimes I wish there were some rules everyone had to follow.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • I never thought about the fact that I might have been B listed...Hmm, food for thought. Also, yes the wedding is for this August. I made sure to recheck the the STD.
  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    Where do you live? My FI and I have been invited to TWO Ozarks-area weddings in the past year only 3 weeks ahead of each event. We're trying to figure out if we've been B-listed by these people (one was his cousin's wedding), or if this is a cultural thing.

    ETA: These are not shotgun weddings, either. Both couples were engaged for six months to a year.
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  • I live in NYC.
  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    Where do you live? My FI and I have been invited to TWO Ozarks-area weddings in the past year only 3 weeks ahead of each event. We're trying to figure out if we've been B-listed by these people (one was his cousin's wedding), or if this is a cultural thing.

    ETA: These are not shotgun weddings, either. Both couples were engaged for six months to a year.
    It's not a "cultural thing" as far as the physical region.  While we have many many very common wedding faux pas around here, no one I know sends invitations that late unless they are B-listing.
    Grrrrreaaaaat. My FI tried to convince me this is how small-town Baptists do things for cake and punch receptions. I said, "Fine, I'm not driving 5 hours each way for a cake and punch reception." Hell, one of them got married on a Tuesday and had their reception on a Saturday. I was like, "No. Just no. Not driving if I'm not even going to see a wedding." 

    ETA: We sent them each a nice crockpot off their Walmart registry.
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  • There was one wedding a couple of years ago where we assumed we were B-listed because the invite came so late, but found out later the couple was just disorganized and procrastinated sending the invites. 
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