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Not Engaged Yet

4 Days to Wedding and my Grandfather Passed this morning

Yesterday I posted that I had 5 days to go, today it is 4.  I got a call this morning from my mom, my grandfather passed about 7am.  He was quite elderly and very ill, but it's still hard on the whole family, as you can imagine.  He was the most kind, loving, charismatic man you'd ever know.  He was German, stubborn, fiercely loyal, level headed, funny, and adored my grandmother, his bride of 65 years and partner since they were 14 years old.  She doesn't know yet.  My aunt and uncle in Florida are driving to the hospital where she is to tell her together.  She recently broke her hip and is in full time therapy recovering there.

As you can imagine, things are sort of in a disarray.  My mom and dad are insisting we carry on with the wedding and honeymoon as planned, as that is what he would have wanted.  Right now it's hard to imagine, my heart is broken.  He is being cremated and there will be a small family memorial on Sunday night.  FI and I are likely going to keep our plans in place and fly down to Florida afterward to spend a few days with my grandmother.  I'm just trying to do the 'right thing', but am not certain what the 'right thing' is at this point.  

Anyhow, my only wish is that FI and I have half of the happiness my grandparents did.  He was 86 years old and a treasure to me.  I will miss him dearly.  


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Re: 4 Days to Wedding and my Grandfather Passed this morning

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  my dad's mother and step-dad died within 3 months of each other last summer, and I know it's so hard.  big hugs for you and your family.  <3
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. <3
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts. 



  • I'm so sorry for your loss! Lots of thoughts and prayers.
  • Lots of hugs, radleyboo. I am so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you and your family, especially your grandmother.
  • Oh radleyboo, i'm so sorry for your loss. The words you used to describe your grandfather remind me so much of my own grandpa. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. To have so much joy and excitement one minute and to then experience such sadness and loss. I know your grandpa would have wanted you to move forward with your plans and I think you should. Maybe you could add a little photo of him to your bouquet or have a reserved seat in the front row with his picture on it? That way he is with you on the big day....

    You, your grandmother and your entire family will be in my prayers this week!

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know the pain you must be going through and the confusion of emotions.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
  • Thank you girls, I appreciate the support very much.  It's such a weird day, I'm trying to get through some wedding details in between work, then hanging up and crying.  My heart is broken, but we are moving forward.

    FI said something that actually made me smile: Grandpa will now be able to be at the wedding with us.  He was so very ill and depressed, he's been released and will able to watch us be married.  I'm sure he's with his very best friend whom he lost a few years ago, drinking one of his beloved martinis that he had to give up, and playing his first round of golf in 10 years.  
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.
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  • Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss radley. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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  • I'm so sorry about your grandpa. About 2 weeks before my wedding, my grandpa passed away. I remember my mom walking into H and my room crying and she said, "Grandpa is dying, we have to go see him." We rushed over to their house which is about 1 hour away and I held his hand while he died. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen and I lost a best friend that day. I couldn't imagine losing him even closer to our wedding day.

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  • I also saw what you wrote about now your grandpa can be at your wedding. Everyone said the same thing to me. It was true, he was definitely there. While he was sick, he was so upset he wouldn't be able to come. Even though it is so sad that he passed, we were all so happy he could see the wedding.
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  • I'm so sorry for your lost.  *hugs*  You are so right, he will be at your wedding in spirit and so happy to be there.  I'll be praying for you and your family.  
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • I'm so sorry *hugs*


  • I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.
  • *hugs* make sure you take care of yourself. Lots of emotion at once is pretty stress inducing (as I'm sure you know). So much love to you and your family right now
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • Mom called and told me something I didn't know.  According to a dear family friend, in the Jewish faith if a wedding and a funeral fall on the same day, one is supposed to always attend the joyful event.  That lifted my heart a little, I'm feeling a little guilty moving towards a celebration this weekend.  I never knew that, if any of you girls are Jewish, I think it's a lovely tradition.  It's comforting to hear things like this.

    I've realized that it's completely possible to be heartbroken and full of joy at the same time, in a very duplicitous and confusing way.  Again, thank you all.  Your thoughts and prayers mean a lot to me.  
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  • Radley, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I have no words, other than to say that I'm thinking of you.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss, sending thoughts and prayers out to your family

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  • labrolabro member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose someone who's so obviously beloved by all your family, and it's even less easy when that time falls so close to your wedding. I'm glad your FI is so supportive and reminded you that your grandfather would be there in spirit smiling on you both and blessing your day.



  • So sorry about your grandfather, @radleyboo. You seem to be taking this in stride (despite the busy week ahead) and have a great attitude about all of this. I'm sure that your wedding will be lovely, especially having your grandfather and loved ones smiling upon you on that day.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Sending hugs and prayers <3
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
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  • Your family is in my prayers :(<3
    "Anyone can wear a white gown, but only a bride can wear a veil". ~Randy Fenoli Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • So sorry for your loss! But I agree that you should carry on as planned.. don't think your grandfather would want you to stop everything in your life because of the recent events. I'm sure all of your friends and family will still enjoy your special day and will share in their fond memories of him in your celebration!
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