what distance is acceptable to ask guest to travel if there aren't any accommodations available?

LAM710 · June 2013

We are planning a 2014 Summer wedding. Our first choice would be either July 5 ( Sat) or August 31 (Sun).Both of which are Holiday weekends. The problem is that it seems that there aren't any hotels available for guests to stay at. The furthest someone would have to travel would be 1 hour ( without traffic). Not sure what to do. Is it rude to ask people to drive an hour on a holiday weekend and not have accommodations? Thanks for your suggestions..:)

OliveOilsMom · June 2013

On a holiday weekend, I'm sure that 1 hour with no traffic could increase. What would be your ceremony time and when the reception ends. If you are planning an evening reception, plan on many guests leaving early so they don't get home too late.

manateehugger · June 2013

LAM710 said:

We are planning a 2014 Summer wedding. Our first choice would be either July 5 ( Sat) or August 31 (Sun).Both of which are Holiday weekends. The problem is that it seems that there aren't any hotels available for guests to stay at. The furthest someone would have to travel would be 1 hour ( without traffic). Not sure what to do. Is it rude to ask people to drive an hour on a holiday weekend and not have accommodations? Thanks for your suggestions..:)

That's a really long drive - and like PP said, it could easily be made longer by holiday traffic. If you went with this plan, you should prepare yourself for people leaving the reception early or even skipping the reception completely. Holiday weekends in general usually result in low attendance. The 4th is on a Friday next year, which means tons of people might take the long weekend to go visit family over attending a wedding.

Are you serving alcohol? Usually we'll get a cab back to the hotel, but an hour long cab ride would not be cheap. So I'd be bummed if I couldn't relax with a couple glasses of wine at your wedding.

What is this venue?

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

What is the venue? It seems odd that a place with nearby accommodations would already be completely booked up.

Could you find room in the budget for a charter bus or two to take guests at the beginning and end of the night? Being "trapped" at the entire event might not be ideal, but I would rather do that as a guest than drive that distance. You could serve your midnight snack on the bus ride home?

mlg78 · June 2013

Is there a reason you're not considering non-holiday weekends? Lots of couples face issues when planning on holiday weekends.

LAM710 · June 2013

Its the Bay Pointe Club in Buzzards Bay. I haven't called specific places just looked online. I will make some phone calls but I would anticipate the rates would be high on a holiday weekend. We really like the venue and I think it will fit our budget.

Bird Lady · June 2013

I would personally not want to drive an hour there and back (assuming no traffic) for your wedding and have it cut into my vacation time on a holiday weekend. Have you checked with all your VIPs about the date and the fact that they would have to drive little ways there and back?

Also, another thing to keep in mind that those hotels might also fill up with people travelling for the holiday.

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

If there are hotels nearby, then you're fine. Guests will decide if they can afford the holiday rates. Fair warning: a decent number might decide that they can't or won't pay that much and might decline. There's nothing rude about moving forward with the plan though.

As a practical matter, I would: 1) clear the date and costs with your VIPs, 2) call the hotels and see if it's at all possible to reserve blocks of rooms at a group rate, 3) look into hiring a charter bus or two to bring people from the venue to a set location in your hometown (or wherever most guests live) if hotels are truly not going to be available.

Sierra524 · June 2013

My wedding is labor day weekend this year, except its on a Saturday and not a Sunday. Most of our guests live close to our reception venue (less than 20 min drive). Nobody seems to really care that it is a holiday weekend, but that could be because it falls on a Saturday & not a Sunday. A few will be coming from out of town but they have asked about which hotels I could recommend in the area, I gave them my suggestions, and then they can decide where they want to stay.

I also wonder why you are not considering any other weekends besides holiday weekends? Our date is very significant to us (its our anniversary of when we started dating) so I didnt even consider another weekend. However, had it not been about the significance of the date, I would have been open to other dates.

Kate61487 · June 2013

Wait - so there aren't any hotels? or the hotels are expensive? That's a huge difference IMO. I would decline to attend a wedding where I have to drive an hr+ to get there (unless I already lived an hr away) whereas if it's just pricey I'd probably make do.

kiwikiss56 · June 2013

is there a particular reason you are looking to do a holiday weekend? in general i think people find it a little annoying when weddings are on holiday weekends due to traffic and high hotel prices. i agree with pp about asking vips. even if you find hotels with open rooms they will probably book up by the time guests call unless you actually do a room block (typically with a deposit). i like the idea of the shuttle.

QueerFemme · June 2013

I agree with Stage about holiday weddings being annoying. If I had to travel an hour, or had to stay in an expensive hotel, you'd have to be a VERY good friend (like, best friend), or immediate family, or I would decline.

Xstatic3333 · June 2013

LAM710 said:
Its the Bay Pointe Club in Buzzards Bay. I haven't called specific places just looked online. I will make some phone calls but I would anticipate the rates would be high on a holiday weekend. We really like the venue and I think it will fit our budget.

Buzzards Bay MA? I agree, that would probably be hugely expensive, and have a 2-night minimum. I would block a mid-range hotel in a less-beachy suburb nearby and see about bussing people. I actually wouldn't do daytime in that situation, the traffic could be crushing. Non-holiday weekend would be ideal.

misssunshine17 · June 2013

I'm with Stage. I would highly recommend rethinking this idea.

LAM710 · June 2013

Thank you for the input.. We met on the Fourth of July so that is the reason for hoping for that weekend. If that wasn't available we were thinking Labor Day sunday because people would have the following day off. I am open to any weekend those were our first choice. I will ask my VIP's and make some calls. I am newly engaged and just started my planning. Thanks again.

STARMOON44 · June 2013

I think an hour in that area is much much too far to drive. I don't mind the date so much, but can you pick another venue? Somewhere with hotels near by?

AJuliaNJ · June 2013

I'm getting married July 5 of this year. We lost a few people due to holiday plans, but also had a few people who booked up to 3 extra nights so they could see the Macys fireworks and go to NYC. We have a few other fun events going on the weekend (not mandatory) and it seems to me that people are excited.

We checked with our VIPs on the date first, and gave tons of notice via word-of-mouth and Save the Dates. We also ensured we had accommodations in a few different price brackets. Additionally, when we reached the last day for our hotel block, we put a hold on the rest of the rooms using our credit card for late bookers (the coordinator said we could call and have them released so they can book it). Moral of the story: check with VIPs first, give lots of notice, expect you will have people who don't attend, and have a very good plan for accommodations.

What you are missing is a good accommodations plan. Many people want to stay over because they are drinking. If you are having a dry wedding, an hour might be okay. If there is drinking, I would ensure there were a few options for accommodations at various price points. If you can't accomplish that, I'd look at different weekends and venues. You can pick the best venue in the world, but if people don't come, it won't be very fun at all.

I should also add that I believe we had a higher-than-average decline rate (invited 180, 110 are coming). However, all of our closest friends and all of our family will be there. We're happy with how it ended up.

phira · June 2013

1) Why does it have to be one of those dates? Not that there's anything wrong with either date, just that ... if you're that worried about those dates being holiday weekends, maybe don't pick a holiday weekend.

2) I just did a Google search and found a ton of motels and inns in Wareham. No Sheratons or Hiltons or anything, but there are plenty of places within a few miles of the venue.

smalfrie19 · June 2013

See I think its about location. I wouldn't thing twice about driving an hr to a wedding even on a holiday weekend. An hr is not really anything where I am.

SBmini · June 2013

I'm not sure what the problem is?

https://maps.google.com/maps?q=hotel&sll=41.74698,-70.64146&sspn=0.006295,0.006295&near=The+Bay+Pointe+Club,+19+Bay+Pointe+Drive,+Buzzards+Bay,+MA+02532&geocode=CdHwRfNvbwkQFSQCfQIdzBjK-ynHqoqiC8bkiTFfbJYbCwTTag&gl=us&dq=Bay+Pointe+Club+loc:+Buzzards+Bay&hq=hotel&t=m&z=13

Xstatic3333 · June 2013

smalfrie19 said:
See I think its about location. I wouldn't thing twice about driving an hr to a wedding even on a holiday weekend. An hr is not really anything where I am.

I agree with this; my concern is that in the area OP is talking, an hour would be much more than an hour on a holiday weekend. I think she'd be ok in the evening, but it is true that those who want to drink would have to moderate and some might leave early. All in all, non-holiday would be more convenient for guests. I think OP would get better turnout and a better party.

lcobb517 · June 2013

I just recently went to a wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend in Indianapolis (i.e. Indy 500 Race Day - a very big deal). There are almost no hotel rooms to come by within 100 miles that weekend, and those that are available are very expensive. The wedding was in a suburb of Indy where most people only had to drive 20-30 minutes and it was a fairly small event, maybe 75-100 guests. It was hosted extremely well and everyone had an excellent time, but I know the bride did have many last minute declines. I would say if your wish is to have an event of that size or larger, you may want to look at other dates.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

I've driven over an hour to a wedding-- one that we didn't leave until 10 or 11pm. No big deal at all to us. I would be much more irritated by the fact that it's a holiday than that drive. I understand your reasoning for "Labor Day-- then people have the next day off!" but that's the last 3-day weekend (for me anyway) until Thanksgiving. A lot of people would want to make plans or spend it with their family. I'd reconsider the holiday idea. But unlike a lot of people, I think the hour drive is no big deal.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

I really dislike holiday weekend weddings. A lot of people (myself included) have traditions/trips we normally do and weddings on these weekends muck it all up. If I had to drive 1 hr+ on top of that to get to a place to sleep I would just decline unless it was someone really important to me. Pick another weekend if possible and then make sure you get enough rooms in your room block so people aren't forced to commute to your wedding.

emeejeeayen · June 2013

I don't think an hour is a far drive. Sounds like a short morning commute to me.

kipnus · June 2013

An hour doesn't seem like much to me. Some of our guests actually drove 5 hours each way to attend our afternoon wedding! Some sort of shuttle service would be nice, though.

kiwikiss56 · June 2013

i think an hour is only far if there are no accommodations or shuttle available. most guests (in my circle) like to have a good time and not worry about drinking and driving.

vanityink · June 2013

Speaking from experience, I had to miss a wedding we were originally planning on going to over labor day weekend because it was by the coast and all the hotels were expensive+had minimum stays+holiday traffic. We just couldn't viably make it which was disappointing. I'm thus a little wary about something like this ESPECIALLY on the beach for a summer holiday.

what distance is acceptable to ask guest to travel if there aren't any accommodations available?

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