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Same "look" as first wedding.

sweetdreamz6700sweetdreamz6700 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Second Weddings
I'm despirately concerned about this. I don't really know why. I'm trying to make sure everything in this wedding is different than the first, especially me. I'm almost making myself sick over it. And its not really for me, I'm doing for my FI (he hasn't asked, btw) and some of those that will have attended both weddings. Will they care? Probably not. Will FI notice if he happens across an old photo of mine? Eh, maaaaybe.

When I was dress shopping I was having them pull ball gowns and fuller skirts. A lot looked nice and were beautiful dresses but I couldn't pull the trigger. My FSIL pulled one that none of us realized was more fitted. It was amazing and I bought it. My other dress was a more fitted dress as well but much different than this one.

And now I'm looking for jewelry - headpieces, sash etc. I found a headpiece that I instantly loved. For me thats huge, if I loooove it I've learned to just get it because I likely won't like anything else. The headpiece I found is a double headband with flowers. My other headpiece was a double headband. Sigh. I began to doubt my instincts.

Is anyone else going through and worried about this but me???? I decided this evening that some things are just me and my style so of course they will be similar. But dang, I've had an internal battle getting here!



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Re: Same "look" as first wedding.

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    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2013
    You are you and your tastes will be reflected in the items you choose to wear.  My wedding was completely different and more formal that my previous.  That was because my DH wanted to see me in a formal gown and he wanted to wear a tux that set the tone. We as a family chose our color palette, and things progressed from there. 

    If there are small details that are similar no one is really going to notice as long as you are happy and love your choices no one is going to compare. 



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    clg1213clg1213 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I had to fight with my FI over the venue b/c the one he preferred looked SO much like my 1st.  I actually felt ill there and wasn't sure why until i made the connection.  He could NOT get why it mattered, but I felt like it would distract me and have me thinking about the failed first instead of the will-be-great new.

    I'll prob have some of the same elements to the dress simply b/c they are what work for my body.  though i may go tea length since it is a brunch

    so, YES, i understand and NO, you are not alone.
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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    My first wedding was in a synagogue, with a lunch reception at a restaurant afterward.  My second wedding (32 years later) was in a synagogue, with a lunch reception at a restaurant afterward.  There are only so many things you can do at weddings--and many of them won't appeal to you.  So it's just unrealistic to think you can make one of your weddings completely different from the previous one.
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    beautifulmama28beautifulmama28 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I have not had this issue as I got married really young at a JOP and didn't have a wedding, but I can understand you feeling that way.
    Christie + Chad ~June 8, 2013~
     CPT & mama to 9 kids, one SIL & a grandbaby girl!
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    Dancer2873Dancer2873 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I have some differences and some similarities. My dress was pretty different and I am being a whole lot more bold this time with details and not paying for others to do everything. Fi is pushing to make the invites and he made our bridal party thank you's, engagement party invites and our save the dates. He wants to design the invitations and programs and stuff so I am going to let him. He has done a great job so far. We are having our wedding at a women's club this time and we are having it catered. last time I had it at a fancy reception hall. If the annulment goes through we will get married in a church once again. I could do without, but that's what his family wants. So whatever...why are we thinking so much what others think its our day with our soon be hubby that we have to live with for the rest of our lives. We aren't hurting anyone by doing it our way! It's up to them if they want to give a gift or come so whatever!
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    ShannonRaindropShannonRaindrop member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I totally understand...almost everything about this wedding is completely different from the first one...on purpose. Even my attitude this time around is different. The only thing that is similar is the shape of my dress, and only because that is the shape that works best for me. My mom doesn't understand why I don't just wear my jewelry and veil from the first wedding...yeah, whatever mom. 
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    kennedekennede member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    My fiancé and I had a few similar discussions.  Our firsts were back in the early 90s so a lot of time has passed and I doubt our guests, if they were at or first weddings, will remember.  We did make a conscious decision not to use the same color scheme from either wedding and he chose a different tux style.  My dress style is different in that it is more mature which makes sense that I am now 46 vs. age 24 at the time of my first marriage.  There are some similarities as each dress had rouching and don't hit at the natural waist line, but this is a product of what looks good on me and I can't change that.  Don't over think it too much. Just choose things you love and enjoy the process. Your friends will just look at you and think "wow that looks great on her.  It is such her style."

     

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