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[Deleted User] · June 2013

twotimemob · June 2013

If BK is an usher's fiance, then she should be invited to the wedding with him.

NYCMercedes · June 2013

Certainly you will invite her to the wedding and the rehearsal dinner as her FI is in the WP. I might be inclined not to put her on your invitation list for the bachelorette party hostess. But then again, it would depend on my mood that day and whether it would make things difficult for my FI and his WP.

OjitosVerdes · June 2013

Agree with the OPs - if her fiance weren't in your wedding, I would be inclined to let this friendship die a natural death and not invite her to anything, but as things stand she needs to be invited to the wedding. I wouldn't not include her in the bachelorette party or showers, though.

I also would never normally advocate kicking a bridesmaid out, but in this situation I would be tempted to contact the other bridesmaid that has been trashing you (if that is truly the case) and let her know that her actions indicate that your friendship is no longer wanted or valuable, and that I no longer wanted her to stand up for me at the wedding. These people are not *friends*

AddieCake · June 2013

Yes, you need to invite her since she is the SO of someone invited to your wedding, but I wouldn't invite her to the parties.

MoonlightSilver · June 2013

She needs to be invited, yes, on the Usher's invite probably. It sounds like a weird situation all around, but you don't want to leave her off the invite and give her something else to trash talk you about.

Jen4948 · June 2013

Yeah. It's not ideal, but just invite her as the usher's +1.

Also, give a heads-up to the usher that her trash-talking you is not acceptable, and to anyone who might misunderstand the situation and be sitting with her that there is bad blood between you and her and to take anything negative about you coming out of her mouth at the wedding with a sack of salt.

aurianna · June 2013

" At 4 months out I had a falling out with one of my bridesmaids who I shall call "BK". I realized that the bridemaids did not include some of my registry information on the shower invites that my future Mother in Law specifically asked me to register at for her family"

I'm confused. Were the invites already sent? So you confronted the BMs because they didn't include all the things the shower guests were supposed to buy for you? You really should have just told your FMIL about the error so she could spread it word of mouth. (also, I assume she wanted it on there because it's a store near her and her family rather than she specifically had things she wanted registered for??).

Is it at all possible the BMs thought you were being critical of the shower they were throwing you (and perhaps interpreted your concern about the registry as gift grabbiness), were hurt by you and your reactions, and then took your "I don't want drama" email as placing all the blame on them? I'm not saying you did anything wrong per se but I could definitely see how this kind of thing could spiral out of control.
If it's all possible something like that happened... take a long hard look at what these friendships meant to you. Decide if you want to reconcile.
If you do, see if there's anything you could have done different and apologize for it, and in turn tell BK how the things you perceived her to be doing/saying made you feel. If things go well, ask the bach party hostess if she could invite her to the bach party (as PPs have said, you have to invite her to the wedding on Usher's invite).

If you don't care about her anymore and don't want to be friends, I see no reason to have her at the bach party. Ask the party hostess not to invite her.

aurianna · June 2013

dp

[Deleted User] · June 2013

lyndausvi · June 2013

I'm really confused. All I get out of this is you and your BMs got in a pissing contest over something that was not included on an invite that has not even been sent out yet?

Seems like a lot of drama going on by everyone.

To answer your question, you need to invite in her on the usher's invite.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

lyndausvi · June 2013

I still think it's ridiculous to complain to your BMs for not putting in a registry card in your shower invites. Since there was a disagreement one has to wonder if you were not as grateful as you could have been regarding the shower as a whole?

What's done is done.

Regardless, she still needs to be invited through the usher. Unless you don't care about the usher being there? I know if DH was invited to a wedding and I wasn't he would have to pick me or you. Do you really want to put your usher in that situation? You need to think about the usher and his feelings than just this BM

STARMOON44 · June 2013

Do you possibly actually love drama? I see no other explanation for throwing a fit over missing registry information, nasty emails, and trying to not invite a guest's fiancé, and then working yourself up into constant tears over it all. Grow up and get over it.

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

angeleyess7 said:

Thank you for all your replys. No, the invites are not out. They are going out next week. The FMIL asked me to register at a particular store for her family because she felt that the place I registered at they wouldn't be able to afford. I respected what she asked of me and I did it. I also thought her feelings would be hurt to not see this information on the invite. I found out about it not being included on the invite because gifts were being shipped to my home. I reached out to some girls and asked if I can give them the packages to hold and if it was ok to switch shipping to one of them. They replyed that only one registry was included on the invite and to only switch that one. I didn't ask BK anything about registry info. One of the other BM filled her in and she started texting me BS about my MOH. The whole situation is childish in my opinion and that why I sent the email to everyone to cut the BS and stop the S&it talking. Anyways I am very hurt about the outcome and cried almost everyday about it. I guess I need to suck it up and continue to suffer through the rest of the events and the wedding.

How old are you?

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