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Venue appointment, MOH inviting personal friends

JBee85JBee85 member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi, I need some help quickly.

I just moved back for family two days ago from several states away and had made prior arrangements to look at a wedding reception venue. My fiance is coming and I extended the invite to my parents and MOH (sister). They all agreed to come and we are going to visit the venue tomorrow.

I picked up my sister and a couple of her friends from a concert and they are all intoxicated. They are crashing at the house tonight. To my shock, she brought up plans for tomorrow in front of her friends and suggested that she plans to bring them along. I have JUST met one of these people tonight, and the other friend the second time. I have no plans to invite them to my wedding because I really don't know them ell and I am extremely tight on budget. I do not want to include them to look at a wedding reception venue and give them the impression they would be invited to my wedding. I quietly mentioned to my sister that this was a family only event and to not invite her friends with us. She seemed to have ignored me.

I am hoping this is just her being intoxicated... but how should I approach this if she REALLY does bring her friends along? She's saying the whole family AND her friends go out for breakfast and then look at the wedding venue. I want this to be a family only event and not bring people over who are A) not contributing to the wedding and B) are not invited. I really don't want to deal with drama the following day after I just moved from a 12 hour trip. Thanks.
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Re: Venue appointment, MOH inviting personal friends

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's late, so perhaps I'm being dense, but why can't you just say in the morning, Sis, your friends can't come, and say to them, sorry family only. Unless your sister is paying, I don't think you need to give this plan of hers any more attention.
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  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Would your parents back you up on the "family only" thing?
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  • annathy03annathy03 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Agree with PPs, just tell her in the morning the venue visit is family only. I doubt your sisters friends would be interested in going anyways if they aren't close to you- especially if they are hung over come morning!
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just say no.



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  • MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
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    Drunk people say things they don't want to, sometimes. Just say family only.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Absolutely just say no to this. It's not necessary or appropriate for them to come. 


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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    kipnus said:
    Would your parents back you up on the "family only" thing?
    I just spoke with my dad on this issue and he says that "you don't make the rules" and that she brings her friends. I'm like "Are you F'ing kidding me? This is my wedding and I am the only person making arrangements for it." I strictly invited family and my parents are blowing me off.

    Do I have a right to be upset about this?!

    I was hoping very hard that this was my sister being intoxicated and saying things without thinking. No, she is really bringing her friends to look at this venue with us when they were not invited and I don't have any support from family.
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  • JB612JB612 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    If your parents are paying, they do get say.  However, if you are the one paying, you get final say.  You have every right to be upset.  Just be firm.  GL.
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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My fiance and I are planning to pay for it. I recently lost my job this week and am working on finding a new one. I am just looking at options.
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  • kryan32kryan32 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Do you have time to reschedule the appointment?  I'd do that and then go with just your FI.

     

     

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  • JB612JB612 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    I am sorry with what you are going through.  Your parents should be backing you up.  GL.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes!
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  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    Reschedule. And go look without your parents.

    ETA: I'd leave your sister out of plans from now on, too, and that includes dress shopping. If she wants to know why, you can explain to her.
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  • cmclairecmclaire member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Reschedule if possible.

    Have a definite chat with your MOH about what you're hoping for the viewings (family only etc.).

    Have a glass of wine (or a cup of coffee).

    GL!

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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would absolutely cancel the appointment and reschedule for when you can go with your fiance or alone.  
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  • OjitosVerdesOjitosVerdes member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree entirely with everyone who said re-schedule/cancel the appointment, and I'd go on your own or with your FI on a later date. 
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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    Just finished. It was too late to cancel and I had no choice but to drag them. Her friends were quiet during the whole thing. Surprising they weren't a problem, but it was awkward. I was mainly upset when my parents intervened with the planner a few times about lodging options AND suggesting that my FI and I change our own wedding date to December instead of July as planned to "save money." As a school teacher (and hoping to land a teaching job again this year after I was cut due to school budget), winter would not be a god idea ad I want to have more money in my bank account by waiting until summer. They are insisting they help pay for the wedding... but after today, I think that's a really bad idea. Eloping has never sounded like a better option than before.

    I was miserable, agitated and could feel myself wear a scowl during the whole time. Lesson learned... should of kept it between my fiance and I only.
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