super simple reception?

Re: super simple reception?

• STARMOON44 member

  

  June 2013

  Not stupid at all.  But make sure you've really thought through the details.  You'll need enough seats for everyone, bathroom access, and in addition to food all of the plates, cups, napkins, serving ware etc, plus people to set up and clean up the space.  Depending on where you are, you'll need to reserve the pavilion, and may or may not need/be able to get a permit to serve alcohol.  The reception should be reasonably easy to get to from the ceremony, and the food you serve should match the time of day.

  
  

  I'm curious what ceremony site is wiping out your budget? Because typically food and drinks for your guests is going to wind up using most of your funds.

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• aundrearaye

  

  June 2013

  Its in a golf and country club. They want 375 for non membership fee and 800 for usage of the wedding veranda. I'm only having 50 to 75 people tops. I don't plan on hiring acatering company but having my mom and aunts cook up some simple stuff. we've already been married for 6 months and now expecting a baby, and live out of state. That's why the budget is so crazy small.

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• aundrearaye

  

  June 2013

  Our marriage was at the courthouse. Just him and I, I've already purchased a dress and my family is very traditional. I'm keeping it simple and small just for family and close friends. I haven't been in my state to celebrate our marriage with my family since we are stationed somewhere else. All we did was the paperwork.

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• Gypsy79 member

  

  June 2013

  Well the good news is that since you already had your ceremony six months ago you don't have to pay for another one. Unless you got divorced since then. By all means have a party with your family and close friends. But you already had your wedding.
  

  Cleaning up unicorn messes!
  

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• aundrearaye

  

  June 2013

  I have not had a ceremony. We only did paperwork at the courthouse

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• Gypsy79 member

  

  June 2013

  You've already had a wedding. Your wedding day is the day you become married. A wedding ceremony is to unite 2 people in marriage. You are already married, therefore having a wedding ceremony is unnecessary and quite frankly impossible without it being a fraud.
  

  Cleaning up unicorn messes!
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  June 2013

  You are already married. Having whatever it is that you are planning is inappropriate. Also, since you're expecting a baby, you should save that money for baby items.
  
  It's inappropriate to have a fake wedding. It's inappropriate to spend all your money on a pretty location and have nothing left to host your guest properly. It's inappropriate to ask your family/friends to cook for you.
  
  What you carelessly and thoughtlessly call 'paperwork' is the legal construct of marriage -- something denied to millions of Americans because of their sexual orientation. Don't cavalierly say, 'oh, it was just paperwork; we're not really married,' when there are men and women fighting like hell for that equality and that right.
  
  You are married. You don't get a fake, do-over, PPD to suit a childish fantasy. Please forget this idea.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Peledreamsofrain member

  

  June 2013

  aundrearaye said:

  I have not had a ceremony. We only did paperwork at the courthouse

  Documents that grant you thousands of rights are not "Only paperwork".  That's obscenely offensive.
  

  Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Sierra524 member

  

  June 2013

  aundrearaye said:

  I have not had a ceremony. We only did paperwork at the courthouse

  This paperwork means you are already married. For you to act like it means nothing because you didn't have a ceremony is completely ignorant. Millions of people are denied the right to "the paperwork" and here you are, acting like it has no significance. Well, guess what? It does have significance...YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED! Congrats!
  
  You do not get the right to have a fake wedding all over again. You made the decision to get married at the courthouse 6 months ago.
  
  As far as your plan, it's all fucked up. It's RUDE to spend all your money on a ceremony and have no money left to properly host your guests. You should not expect your family to make food. There are so many issues that come about with that.
  
  If you take this idea to the military boards they will say the same thing. Thanks to your husband for serving for our country, but using the military as an excuse to have a FAKE WEDDING is complete bullshit.
  
  You REALLY need to rethink all of this bc it's all awful and wrong.

  
  

  
  

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• aundrearaye

  

  June 2013

  I'm sorry didn't mean to offend anyone. I know some people can't get married. This was a reception question, not a ceremony one. I'll take your opinions into consideration but you don't have to be so mean about it.  

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• AddieCake member

  

  June 2013

  Being honest =\= being mean.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• Sierra524 member

  

  June 2013

  We were not mean, we were just telling you the truth. And it doesn't matter what kind of question it is, your going to get answers and opinions about anything. That's what happens on a public Internet forum.
  
  I really do hope you seriously rethink your whole idea. Please know that we are not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Just trying to make you see that you can't be planning your wedding when you are already married.
  
  And yes, that comment about it just being paperwork is extremely offensive.

  
  

  
  

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• Gypsy79 member

  

  June 2013

  I wasn't even being mean. I was giving you the good news that since you've had your wedding, you can save that money and have a kick-ass party. It really is extremely offensive to not "count" your wedding just because it was in a courthouse.
  

  Cleaning up unicorn messes!
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  June 2013

  Actually, OP, you DIDN'T come here to ask a reception question. You asked how to have a reception when you're blowing all your money on a fake do-over wedding. We told you to skip the fake do-over wedding and dedicate those fund to a really awesome party instead. Problem solved!
  
  We weren't mean, we were honest. Big difference.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  June 2013

  aundrearaye said:

  We are on an extremely tight and fast pace budget being a military couple. I found my dream spot for the ceremony which will wipe us out, but I don't want it anywhere else. So for the reception I was thinking just a park pavilion to eat at with friends and family, no DJ or dance floor, just eating. Is that stupid?

  Please don't have a do over wedding.  You are already married.  You made a choice to go to the courthouse, you need to live with your decision.  Have a party, but don't have a do over wedding.

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  June 2013

  Skip the "ceremony" and the simple "reception" and have an awesome party. Celebrate life, celebrate your marriage, celebrate your child, celebrate your friends and family. You don't need to dress like Cinderella and demand everyone oooh and aaaah at you.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• QueerFemme member

  

  June 2013

  Another vote for not wasting money on a venue for a fake wedding ceremony.  Have a reception to celebrate your recent marriage.  But, having a fake re-do pretty princess day is rude and offensive. 

  

  Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

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• thejucheidea member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  aundrearaye said:

  I'll take your opinions into consideration but you don't have to be so mean about it.  

  
  

  
  

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• MuppetFan member

  

  June 2013 edited June 2013

  What you are doing is inappropriate. I know you don't think it is and I'm sorry for the blunt wake up call, but what everyone is writing is accurate. You are already married, so what you are planning is a fake wedding. It's tacky.
  
  I hope that you read what people say and take it seriously so that you don't embarrass yourself before everyone you know. It WOULD be appropriate to have a celebration of your marriage party with your friends and family, but you should skip the formalities.
  
  Be very honest with your guests which ever route you go so that they know what they are attending. I am going to wager that most people are not going to want to witness your fake wedding. If others are okay with it, I am positive they wouldn't be okay with it if they found out you were already married after the fact and to know they were lied to and witnessed a charade.
  

    
  You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  
  

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