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Offbeat Weddings

some people not down with my wedding ideas....

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I would appreciate anyone's input. my fiance and i are planning on having a really laid back wedding reception. We're doing everything ourselves except for the food. We want a sort of backyard pic nic feel, so we're ordering hoagies from our fav place to be the main food. Im making sides and aps and all that. We're also having lawn games (croquette, horse shoes, ect). Anyway, we like this idea and it's cost effective. His parents are on board, my dad couldnt care less, but my grandmom is having a big problem with it. her opinion does matter to me as she is the only living member of my mom's side of the family. i am also her only grand daughter and she feels that we should be having a more traditional type of reception. Any ideas to placate her? She's a wonderful woman and i can see her point, but we'd really like to keep the whole thing low key. we're getting married oct 5 by the way, in my grandpop's back yard. about 65 people. thanks in advance!

Re: some people not down with my wedding ideas....

  • It really depends on her objections.   Is she upset that you are not getting married in a church?  If yes, point out how your officiant is a minister and will be quoting scripture in God's domain (the outdoors).   If she is concerned that you are taking on more than possible with the apps?  If yes, show her how organized you are and how great the food will be.  If she is concerned that the wedding is not traditional enough, show her the traditions that you are using. 

    There is one thing that you need to do.  Ensure that your invitations identify the formality of your event.   It really sucks for guests to show up in fancy dress and heels at a picnic where they can break an ankle when they tiptoe on the lawn. 
  • That's a bummer, but honestly, as long as you're hosting your guests properly it's not really for anyone to say how you and your FI plan your wedding day.  Those who pay have a say, and that's it.  I'd probably stop sharing details with the naysayers.
  • As the other said, when it comes to weddings EVERYONE has an opinion.

    First things first, stop sharing.... Keep your plans to yourself and a couple trusted people. Everyone else can just sit back and see how it comes together :D

    Secondly, as long as you're hosting your guests properly then there is NOTHING wrong with your plans! Do what feels right for you!
  • Maybe there is a traditional that she wants to include that she is worried will not be a part of your wedding?  is it the whole reception or just parts of it that she is having trouble with?  If it is the whole thing, then she is going to have be get used to the fact that you aren't having a typical wedding as she sees it.  If it is something small, maybe you can incorporate it to make her happy?  It really depends on what she is finding issue with. 

  • My MIL was hoping for a more traditional wedding. However, we had an offbeat wedding and hosted it properly. She had so much fun that she even forgot about all of the traditional elements.
  • My FI and I are going with a very similar Idea and trust me, everybody had opinions, but just to...satisfy them we threw in some of the traditions...boquet toss, first dance little things like that, but we're still doing the BBQ and stuff...It pleased them its not costing us anymore... small concessions like that may be the key. I know it's your wedding, but if someone (especially an immediate family member) is dissapointed or unhappy it could potentially bum you guys out on your special day... I wish you the best!
  • I think you should xp this in Etiquette. It sounds to me like a lovely wedding but the Etiquette ladies can help make sure (as PPs have all stated) that you are properly hosting your guests.



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  • I really think that you have to do what you can do that's affordable and reflects your values. Your family might have opinions, but in the end, they will have to get over it. In the end, you will be married and your family will enjoy themselves and be fed! It's all up to you, so perhaps try to compromise on a few things just to make them happy. Good luck!
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