Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal Dinner - Officiant and Family

Two questions:

If I am paying for a civil ceremony officiant and paying for them to go to the actual rehearsal, do I need to invite them to the dinner?

 

Also, my FMIL wants to invite all the family that is coming in from out of town.  Do we have to do that?  They are paying for the dinner, but I just wanted something low key with my bridal party so we can laugh and relax before the big day.  I also worry that then my mom will be mad if out of town family from my side of the family can't make it because she'll think it's all about the IL's family. (Our RD is the Thursday before our Saturday wedding so I don't think many people on my side would want to come in early just for that.)

Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Officiant and Family

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    Two questions:

    If I am paying for a civil ceremony officiant and paying for them to go to the actual rehearsal, do I need to invite them to the dinner?

     

    Also, my FMIL wants to invite all the family that is coming in from out of town.  Do we have to do that?  They are paying for the dinner, but I just wanted something low key with my bridal party so we can laugh and relax before the big day.  I also worry that then my mom will be mad if out of town family from my side of the family can't make it because she'll think it's all about the IL's family. (Our RD is the Thursday before our Saturday wedding so I don't think many people on my side would want to come in early just for that.)


    1. To the first question, no. They are a paid vendor. Unless you have a personal relationship with the person (i.e. they're a friend of the family) then it's really not necessary.

    2. If FMIL is paying, she gets the say in the guest list. I do get where you're coming from, but you have to accept FMIL's plans if she's footing the bill.

  • 1. Not unless you have a relationship with this person aside from paying them to conduct your wedding ceremony.

    2.  If your FMIL is paying and hosting, she gets to pick the guest list.  If you don't want all the out-of-town family invited, you need to pay and host yourself.  You might suggest to your FMIL that a big family reunion for her side only is too much for you that close to the wedding and just host a small low-key dinner that night yourself.
  • It depends on the family.  Ours will just have the bridal party there because that is all the groom's parents want to pay for, understandably.  Sometimes, out of town guests are invited because, hey, what else are they going to do?  
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