Favors

s2005 · June 2013

I need some help with ideas. My fiancé and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and will be having a lot of guests.

We will have white table clothes with black napkins. Black bridesmaid dresses. A wood slice for our guests to sign (my grandparents are carvers). Another posted gave me the suggestion for cylinder vases filled with branches with a floating candle as my centerpieces.

I am so stuck on the favors! I kind thought about keeping with the nature them and doing sunflower seeds or something of the sort. I'm stumped. Also looking for something under a dollar a person (is that possible?).

Thank you!!

Sorry if this is a duplicate post. I have no idea where my origional post went!

hordol · June 2013

Under $1/person is possible. To stay as close to that as possible, you will want to avoid anything that needs some sort of packaging (like a little bag or box) because those can be almost $1/each too (assuming you buy nicer ones). Edible favors are usually they easiest and best kind to give--I actually like the idea of sunflower seeds! It's unique. You could also do a chocolate covered strawberry (made yourself would be the most economical). Sorry I'm trying to think of naturey foods and am drawing a blank, haha. Really, I think any food could be naturey.

JoanE2012 · June 2013

Erinp2005 said:

I need some help with ideas. My fiancé and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and will be having a lot of guests. We will have white table clothes with black napkins. Black bridesmaid dresses. A wood slice for our guests to sign (my grandparents are carvers). Another posted gave me the suggestion for cylinder vases filled with branches with a floating candle as my centerpieces. I am so stuck on the favors! I kind thought about keeping with the nature them and doing sunflower seeds or something of the sort. I'm stumped. Also looking for something under a dollar a person (is that possible?). Thank you!! Sorry if this is a duplicate post. I have no idea where my origional post went!

Edible is best. Most trinkets will get left behind. Remember, favors are definitely not required (the reception is your thank you to your guests), so it may make more sense to save the money and put it somewhere else in the budget.

mlg78 · June 2013

Favors are the biggest waste of money and one of the most simple areas where people save money. I agree -- skip them.

s2005 · June 2013

I agree they are a waste of money. I rather add liquor to my reception then have the favors. But I've never been to a wedding that didnt have favors. I don't want to look cheap/unthankful. Decisions, decisions.

AddieCake · June 2013

You won't look cheap if you don't have favors, but if you fear you will and really want to do them, you can definitely find something edible for under $1.

PandPMeant2B · June 2013

Do you and your FI have a favorite charity? I love going to weddings and seeing a little card at my place setting that says, "In lieu of favors, a donation has been made to [charity name] in honor of our loving friends and family" or something like that. It makes everyone feel good and they don't have to worry about taking home another picture frame or bell or candle that they'll never use, but feel guilty for throwing out. You can print the cards yourself and choose whatever amount you're comfortable with to donate; no one will ever have to know how much you spent.

Jen4948 · June 2013

paulakleiman said:

Do you and your FI have a favorite charity? I love going to weddings and seeing a little card at my place setting that says, "In lieu of favors, a donation has been made to [charity name] in honor of our loving friends and family" or something like that. It makes everyone feel good and they don't have to worry about taking home another picture frame or bell or candle that they'll never use, but feel guilty for throwing out. You can print the cards yourself and choose whatever amount you're comfortable with to donate; no one will ever have to know how much you spent.

No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

PandPMeant2B · June 2013

Jen4948 said:

No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. While I admit I shouldn't speak for everyone, who's to say it's not appropriate? I, myself, would rather someone spend their money donating to a charity that is important to them, than buying me a gift I don't need. I don't view it as a favor (hence, "in lieu of favors..."); I view it as a nice thing to do. I know my friends well enough to know if they do something like that, they are being charitable and giving, not "smug and self-congratulatory." I don't have those types of friends.

There's always the option of doing it without announcing it, which is fine, but I think there are some advantages to letting people know: 1) Let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even mention it. 2) I think the announcement helps to bring attention and awareness to causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? The majority of your guests would probably be touched; not think you are showing off. You're basically saying "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most people feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations. There's nothing attention-seeking about this, IMO.

Jen4948 · June 2013

paulakleiman said:

Jen4948 said:
No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. While I admit I shouldn't speak for everyone, who's to say it's not appropriate? I, myself, would rather someone spend their money donating to a charity that is important to them, than buying me a gift I don't need. I don't view it as a favor (hence, "in lieu of favors..."); I view it as a nice thing to do. I know my friends well enough to know if they do something like that, they are being charitable and giving, not "smug and self-congratulatory." I don't have those types of friends.

There's always the option of doing it without announcing it, which is fine, but I think there are some advantages to letting people know: 1) Let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even mention it. 2) I think the announcement helps to bring attention and awareness to causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? The majority of your guests would probably be touched; not think you are showing off. You're basically saying "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most people feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations. There's nothing attention-seeking about this, IMO.

Sorry, but the bolded is not an appropriate response here. The very act of posting is seeking an opinion, and this is something said to children, not adults.

And sorry, but many people do not appreciate being "nudged" to donate to charity at weddings, because they're being treated as a captive audience for a charity shill. No matter how "beautiful" it may seem to you, a wedding is not a fundraiser or awareness-raiser, and is not the appropriate place for that. I prefer to decide for myself whom to donate to, without reference to who someone else thinks is "worthy" or "needy" and don't go to weddings to hear about poverty, diseases, or whatever. And using one's wedding to solicit donations does, sorry to have to tell you, not come off as altruistic.

AddieCake · June 2013

If someone is going to announce that they gave something up at the wedding and took that money to donate instead, it better be the bouquets. I'd be far more impressed with a bride who told me she gave up something for herself as opposed to telling me she gave up something for ME. Otherwise, just don't announce it.

Erin, I really like the trail mix idea that someone on the favors board suggested for you.

QueerFemme · June 2013

paulakleiman said:

Jen4948 said:
No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. While I admit I shouldn't speak for everyone, who's to say it's not appropriate? I, myself, would rather someone spend their money donating to a charity that is important to them, than buying me a gift I don't need. I don't view it as a favor (hence, "in lieu of favors..."); I view it as a nice thing to do. I know my friends well enough to know if they do something like that, they are being charitable and giving, not "smug and self-congratulatory." I don't have those types of friends.

There's always the option of doing it without announcing it, which is fine, but I think there are some advantages to letting people know: 1) Let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even mention it. 2) I think the announcement helps to bring attention and awareness to causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? The majority of your guests would probably be touched; not think you are showing off. You're basically saying "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most people feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations. There's nothing attention-seeking about this, IMO.

It's not a good idea to donate to charities in someone's name or in lieu of a favor. I am a huge advocate of abortion rights. So, if I donated to Planned Parenthood or NARAL, that could be very offensive to my guests. My sister had breast cancer, so you'd think I would support the Komen foundation, except I don't. Their policies are horrible and the way they spending their funding is suspect. You have no idea what is going to offend your guests so donating in their honor, or instead of giving them a gift that you would have otherwise, is really rude.

Xstatic3333 · June 2013

Erinp2005 said:
I agree they are a waste of money. I rather add liquor to my reception then have the favors. But I've never been to a wedding that didnt have favors. I don't want to look cheap/unthankful. Decisions, decisions.

OP, we were considering chocolate covered sunflower seeds and priced it out at about $1 a person if you use simple packaging. I think the company I was looking at was nuts.com.

JoanE2012 · June 2013

AddieL73 said:

If someone is going to announce that they gave something up at the wedding and took that money to donate instead, it better be the bouquets. I'd be far more impressed with a bride who told me she gave up something for herself as opposed to telling me she gave up something for ME. Otherwise, just don't announce it.

Erin, I really like the trail mix idea that someone on the favors board suggested for you.

Totally agree!

PandPMeant2B · June 2013

Jen4948 said:

paulakleiman said:

Jen4948 said:
No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. While I admit I shouldn't speak for everyone, who's to say it's not appropriate? I, myself, would rather someone spend their money donating to a charity that is important to them, than buying me a gift I don't need. I don't view it as a favor (hence, "in lieu of favors..."); I view it as a nice thing to do. I know my friends well enough to know if they do something like that, they are being charitable and giving, not "smug and self-congratulatory." I don't have those types of friends.

There's always the option of doing it without announcing it, which is fine, but I think there are some advantages to letting people know: 1) Let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even mention it. 2) I think the announcement helps to bring attention and awareness to causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? The majority of your guests would probably be touched; not think you are showing off. You're basically saying "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most people feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations. There's nothing attention-seeking about this, IMO.

Sorry, but the bolded is not an appropriate response here. The very act of posting is seeking an opinion, and this is something said to children, not adults.

And sorry, but many people do not appreciate being "nudged" to donate to charity at weddings, because they're being treated as a captive audience for a charity shill. No matter how "beautiful" it may seem to you, a wedding is not a fundraiser or awareness-raiser, and is not the appropriate place for that. I prefer to decide for myself whom to donate to, without reference to who someone else thinks is "worthy" or "needy" and don't go to weddings to hear about poverty, diseases, or whatever. And using one's wedding to solicit donations does, sorry to have to tell you, not come off as altruistic.

I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. Telling someone they are entitled to their own opinion IS a valid response. You have yours, I have mine. I'm not trying to convince you you're wrong and you shouldn't be doing that either. You make valid points, but I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer to a personal decision like this. I, personally, would not donate in lieu of favors, but some people would and I would never be offended if I knew they were doing it with good in their hearts; whether I support it or not. These threads aren't meant to start arguments so I will not perpetuate this one. Yes, the point of posting is to seek ALL opinions. You shared yours and I shared mine; let's leave it at that.

Erinp, if you're on a budget and don't feel right about foregoing favors, I agree edible is the way to go. I also agree trail mix is an original and creative idea. I like your idea of sunflower seeds (chocolate covered ones are my favorite) as well. Chocolate covered anything; nuts, cherries, pretzels, spoons (for dipping in hot chocolate/coffee) etc. are always a crowd pleaser. No matter what you decide on, you can definitely do it for under $1 per person.

Jen4948 · June 2013

paulakleiman said:

Jen4948 said:

paulakleiman said:

Jen4948 said:
No, it doesn't make "everyone" feel good. It is in fact not appropriate to do this as a "favor" to your guests.

Giving to charity is fine, but do it of your own funds and not as a "favor."

Your guests are there to celebrate, not to hear about whom you consider "in need" or "less fortunate," it is not gracious to tell anyone that you have decided to do something with your money instead of giving them something they didn't ask for and aren't entitled to anyway, and it makes you look smug and self-congratulatory, like you're patting yourself on the back, and not altruistic when you're doing this. Save the charitable contribution for your own time as well as your own dime.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. While I admit I shouldn't speak for everyone, who's to say it's not appropriate? I, myself, would rather someone spend their money donating to a charity that is important to them, than buying me a gift I don't need. I don't view it as a favor (hence, "in lieu of favors..."); I view it as a nice thing to do. I know my friends well enough to know if they do something like that, they are being charitable and giving, not "smug and self-congratulatory." I don't have those types of friends.

There's always the option of doing it without announcing it, which is fine, but I think there are some advantages to letting people know: 1) Let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even mention it. 2) I think the announcement helps to bring attention and awareness to causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? The majority of your guests would probably be touched; not think you are showing off. You're basically saying "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most people feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations. There's nothing attention-seeking about this, IMO.

Sorry, but the bolded is not an appropriate response here. The very act of posting is seeking an opinion, and this is something said to children, not adults.

And sorry, but many people do not appreciate being "nudged" to donate to charity at weddings, because they're being treated as a captive audience for a charity shill. No matter how "beautiful" it may seem to you, a wedding is not a fundraiser or awareness-raiser, and is not the appropriate place for that. I prefer to decide for myself whom to donate to, without reference to who someone else thinks is "worthy" or "needy" and don't go to weddings to hear about poverty, diseases, or whatever. And using one's wedding to solicit donations does, sorry to have to tell you, not come off as altruistic.

I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. Telling someone they are entitled to their own opinion IS a valid response. You have yours, I have mine. I'm not trying to convince you you're wrong and you shouldn't be doing that either. You make valid points, but I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer to a personal decision like this. I, personally, would not donate in lieu of favors, but some people would and I would never be offended if I knew they were doing it with good in their hearts; whether I support it or not. These threads aren't meant to start arguments so I will not perpetuate this one. Yes, the point of posting is to seek ALL opinions. You shared yours and I shared mine; let's leave it at that.

Erinp, if you're on a budget and don't feel right about foregoing favors, I agree edible is the way to go. I also agree trail mix is an original and creative idea. I like your idea of sunflower seeds (chocolate covered ones are my favorite) as well. Chocolate covered anything; nuts, cherries, pretzels, spoons (for dipping in hot chocolate/coffee) etc. are always a crowd pleaser. No matter what you decide on, you can definitely do it for under $1 per person.

As you say, we'll have to disagree, but I as a wedding guest am going to get up, leave the room, and maybe even leave the reception if the couple start in with speeches or announcements about how they are donating in lieu of giving favors. I don't want to hear it, and I still think it's rude.

And had you read the numbers of threads on this subject before you started posting, you would have found out that many Knotties besides myself don't agree with you. It's not just *my* opinion that this is rude.

s2005 · June 2013

Thanks to those who answered my origional post. I think trail mix is a great idea. I am thinking maybe to do a trail mix buffet? Like a candy bar, but with trail mix ingredients. What ingredients would you use? Do u think this would cost under a dollar per guest?

Thanks again!!!

itzMS · June 2013

Erinp2005 said:

Thanks to those who answered my origional post. I think trail mix is a great idea. I am thinking maybe to do a trail mix buffet? Like a candy bar, but with trail mix ingredients. What ingredients would you use? Do u think this would cost under a dollar per guest? Thanks again!!!

I really like this idea, but to do a true trail mix bar, you'd have to have quite the variety and quantity so it doesn't look cheapy since many of the ingredients are so small in size. I don't see any way it would cost less than $1 a guest.

Peanuts

Almonds/Cashews/Pecans/another nut (bonus points if they're glazed)

Sunflower kernels

M&Ms

Reese's pieces

Peanut butter chips and regular chocolate chips

Raisins

Dried cranberries/apricots/other fruit

Banana chips

Mini pretzels (plain and chocolate/yogurt covered)

Mini marshmallows

s2005 · June 2013

My fiancé doesn't like the trail mix idea. So I guess it's back to the drawing board.

MobKaz · June 2013

What if you weren't quite so literal? You could easily make any number of chocolate "bark" flavors. Or, you could package some chocolate dipped pretzel logs to look like bundled tree "logs". You could have cookies that look like sunflowers or any number of nature shaped items. Or you could simply give each guest a black and white cookie.....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/73/BandW.jpg/220px-BandW.jpg

What about something maple flavored or leaf shaped?

Dreamergirl8812 · June 2013

Skip the favors. They are one of the least important and least appreciated aspect of the wedding but people spend hours and stress and hundreds of dollars on them.

Do not use your wedding as a soapbox. It is not the right place to publicly acknowledge your own altruism (although, like PP said, you're not actually sacrificing anything so it's just empty).

ETA: I was so relieved when we cut the favors from the budget. After upgrading the hosted bar, planning a nice RD, etc. etc., I felt fully justified just deleting that row from me excel spreadsheet.

AddieCake · June 2013

Erinp2005 said:

My fiancé doesn't like the trail mix idea. So I guess it's back to the drawing board.

Well, tell him he's outvoted. I'm kidding. But seriously, what doesn't he like about it?

s2005 · June 2013

Thank you

s2005 · June 2013

I will definitely be providing favors...just gotta find ones that we bot agree one, edible and a dollar or less.

2luv0fam1us4forever · July 2013

Xstatic3333 oh I love the chocolate covered sunflower seed idea! I want some right now!!

I live in Maryland...chocolate covered crab perhaps? haha just kidding of course!!

Favors

Re: Favors

Choose Another Board

Search Boards