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Catholic Weddings

Charting: happy news :-) and sad news :-(

So, after two full months of charting, for the first time in my life I was successfully able to predict precisely which day I would get my period! woo hoo! (that in itself is reason to chart!!!)

However, I think I have just calculated that there is pretty much no way that we will NOT be smack in the middle of phase 2 on our wedding night.

Please tell me that is not a big deal and I shouldn't be sad... :-(

(slightly more info below that's not essential, just cuz I feel the need to vent/explain)

My cycles are pretty much about 27-32 days, with 27, 28, or 29 being most common. Stress or anything like it has never in my entire life affected them in a noticeable way, so I don't think I can hope for that to change my calculations. Like I said above, I've only done 2 cycles of charting so far, and will have about 3 more I think before the wedding. FI is *terrified* of getting pregnant for the first year, so we are going to be very conservative already the first year. So this puts phase 2 roughly around days 10-20 every month. 
So by my calculations, if every single month is (or the average is) a low 27 days (not very likely), then our wedding day will be day 16. If every single month or the average is 28 days (likely), our wedding day will be day 13. If every single month is or averages 29 days (likely), our wedding day will be day 10. If every month is or averages 30 days (not as likely), then our wedding day will be day 7. (We will probably not be ok with the risk involved, especially given our relatively newness at charting.) Even if every cycle is or averages 31 days (quite unlikely!) that will still put our wedding day at day 5 (still a little uncertain for newbies!)

NFP girls, please tell me this isn't a big deal, and that when phase 3 does come around for the first time, it will all be worth it! :-(

(at least we decided to wait until closer to the wedding to plan our mini-moon, so that we can be sure of getting a non-fertile time!)
Anniversary

Re: Charting: happy news :-) and sad news :-(

  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    It won't be that big of a deal, I promise! We were way too tired on our wedding night, anyway. It's great that you are charting already and will feel much more confident about it once the wedding rolls around. It will be well worth it and you'll probably look back and laugh at yourself for worrying!
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    ill be honest, id be bummed about this.  BUT, it might not even be the entire HM that you are fertile.

    you also could take a chance and truly leave it up to God if getting pregnant right now wouldnt be a catastrophe.  just becuase you are fertile, doesnt necessarily mean you will get pregnant if you have sex.  it just means that there is a really, really good chance you will.

    the flip side is with regular cycles you can get a pretty good idea of when future phase II's will land so you can calculate vacations and the like out such that you wont have this issue again. 
  • chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I can see how anyone would be bummed (I would be too!)
    However, look back into a few threads back.. A lot of ladies mentioned they were in phase 2 during their wedding night but it didn't create any havoc to wait a few more days.
    Not to go into too much detail, maybe use your wedding night to establish an even deeper intimacy.  I know this may sound weird, but I've heard that this is really cool to do.  Lay in bed together, completely naked and just hold eachother.  Be naked together and give eachother backrubs and just be together.  I know it sounds cheesy but that whole nakedness without having sex thing seems like a great experience for married couples to have.
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    To continue Chelsea's excellent advice, another good honeymoon idea is taking a romantic bubble bath together.  

    At the same time, for some people, it may be more difficult to be so intimate without being able to have sex than it would be to just call it a night and not get naked :)

    Whatever works for you.  Either way, I can't imagine you being anything but elated that you're married... even if you have to wait a bit to have sex.

    Although, another thing I would warn you about, OP, is how crazy brides' cycles can get before the wedding.  In 3 months, your cycle could change drastically. 

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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That happened to us, too!  Wedding week stress during my CM buildup ended up extending my "phase 2" to not only the wedding night but the entire honeymoon the week after!  While I wish that our life circumstances would have enabled us to consummate our marriage during that time, we chose to abstain... which was super difficult since we'd been doing that our entire lives and our 5 year relationship!  In hindsight... it was only 7 days of the rest of our lives together and gave us an opportunity to establish deeper physical intimacy without sex right away.  Since I was of course more "in the mood" due to being fertile at that time... I think that I found it more difficult than my husband did.  Our first time, though, was ridiculously painful for me... so I'm glad we waited rather than throwing prudence to the wind!  It provides ample opportunity on your honeymoon to enjoy time together outside the hotel room seeing the sights.  Since I was getting cranky about the situation... my husband decided that we needed to go to mass and confession and it ended up being one of my favorite parts of our honeymoon and helped me put things in perspective...

    That said, it may still be too early for you to tell whether or not wedding-related stress will affect your cycle...  I was doing fine for the several months leading up to the wedding and then it went crazy in the few weeks beforehand, during and after!  Heck... it's still kinda crazy.  If you procrastinate on stuff as much as I did, wedding week will bring a whole new dimension to stress in your life and any change in stress can throw things off.  If the wedding night is smack dab in the middle of your phase 2, you might still be fine towards the end of the following week if you're honeymooning right after the wedding!
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was fertile on our wedding night and we abstained...it was a bit disappointing at the time but as others said, it's such a short time compared to the rest of your lives together, and we might have decided we were too tired anyway. We ended up opening and reading a lot of our cards, and that was a really nice way to spend the evening--reading all the lovely well-wishes from our families & friends.
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  • edited December 2011
    I def wouldn't roll the dice on my wedding night.

    I have too many friends that decided to roll the dice on the wedding night/ honeymoon. Almost all have a baby that they conceived during that time, and they all give the same advice to my FH and I: wait.

    Their children are wonderful and a blessing, but they wish they had more time to enjoy being a married couple and work on their marriage before having children.
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