Feedback for Vows? [Finished]

halfbreedfox · June 2013

Got what I wanted. Thank you, ladies.

Jen4948 · June 2013

I wouldn't call him your geek. That might be too personal for vows that people who don't know you that well to try to understand.

manateehugger · June 2013

halfbreedfox said:

I'm a little nervous sharing my vows, but I really want some feedback if the whole thing sounds good, if a part seems out of place or if there is a confusing part. In addition to these vows I wrote, my fiance and I are also doing the "Wilt thou love and comfort" as well as the "for better or worse, for richer or poorer" type of vows. The vows I'm posting are sort of introduction vows, as well as personal vows.

Okay. Here it goes.

"[Fiance's name], my Scientist, my Geek, mon Amour,
Your heart is like that of an innocent child. It has always accepted everything about me, without hesitation. The kindness you give me every day warms my heart. The honesty you confide in me enlightens my mind. The trust you instill in me gives me confidence. Who you are makes me want to become a better person. Who you are gives me hope for humanity.I love you for all that we share in common and for all that makes us different, because I know there is strength in the differences between us, and I know there is comfort where we overlap.I would rather share this lifetime with you, than face this entire world alone. I am here with you because I believe in you with all my heart. I will bind myself to you, and offer you my heart, my soul, and my being, if you wish to have it. But there is something that you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important is this, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you. All that we need is faith and trust."

The part I highlighted is my main concern. I don't think it fits and I think I'm just going to cut the whole thing out.

And if some of the parts sound familiar, yes, I am using some quotes from movies and books that I like and that I think fit us as a couple. If you want, I can post the exact line and where/who said it.

You aren't really vowing a whole lot for these being your wedding vows, you know? The only sentence in which you promise him anything is the one I bolded.

Read them aloud multiple times to check for flow.

pesematology · June 2013

I think saying "geek" is fine, geekiness has been in vogue long enough for that not to sound like an insult.

I agree with PP that there's not a lot of actual vowing going on in your vows, though.

artbyallie · June 2013

Vows=promises. I would honestly scrap everything after mon amour (and scrap that too unless you're French, Cajun, French Canadian, whatever) and start by rephrasing the traditional vows to make sure you cover the basics.

mustbedreaming · June 2013

If you're doing this along with more traditional "I promise..." type of vows then I think it could be sweet. Here's where I'd put in the part you're unsure about:

"...The honesty you confide in me enlightens my mind. The trust you instill in me gives me confidence. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Who you are makes me want to become...."

then...

".... I will bind myself to you, and offer you my heart, my soul and my being [I would take out the "if you wish to have it" since he obviously does; you're getting married! ]. And though we must sometimes part from each other's sides, our hearts will always be bound together as one. All that we need is faith and trust.

mlg78 · June 2013

I think it's a stretch to say you really had any vows in there. All you did was talk about how awesome you two are as a couple and how much you love one another. While that's great, you didn't promise anything.

What are like 5 things you are going to promise to him? To be faithful? Honest? Accepting? Make a list and put those into sentence form and always think of "I vow..." or "I promise..."

misssunshine17 · June 2013

You know you're quoting Christopher Robin, right? I would take out that line (stronger than you think...). I agree that you're not really vowing much.

Feedback for Vows? [Finished]

Re: Feedback for Vows? [Finished]

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