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Ceremony and Vows for Non-religious Wedding

jenifufujenifufu
First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hello, 
 My fiance and I are not religious and have been thinking of how the wedding ceremony would go for us without religious readings from a minister. I've heard of people writing there own vows, but am wondering of how else non-secular ceremonies can be performed? I want to hire a secular offciant, but what will they say in such a ceremony? I've know some people do a ceremony with visuals, like with glass vases filled with sand to represent the joining of the couple, but I don't think I'd want to do that since it seems to have more of a beachy vibe. Our wedding will be in a formal dining hall with a large stage where we will hold the ceremony. Any ideas or past experiences??

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Re: Ceremony and Vows for Non-religious Wedding

  • mustbedreamingmustbedreaming member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hey there! My fiance and I also want to go the non religious route (though we were both raised Catholic).  I found this website that has some ideas.  I particularly like the Handfasting Ceremony (it has very traditional, pre-medieval European roots) and the Parents' Blessing (could be really nice if family is important to you both).  Also, depending on your and your fiance's cultures, you could research traditional (and by traditional I mean old) wedding rites.  For example, you could do the handfasting if you're Irish since it was a traditional Celtic wedding ritual.

    As to readings, my FI and I are going to choose a couple passages from literature.  Les Miserables has some good ones regarding love.  Just do a google search for literary wedding readings if you're interested.

    Finally, if none of that works, since you will be looking for a secular (non-religious) officiant, (s)he will be able to provide you with sample ceremony scripts/vows and work with you and your fiance on finding something perfect.

    Hope that helped! Good luck :)
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Non religious ceremonies can be gorgeous. Traditional vows are perfect, but are short (my friend did this and one reading and people were in and out in 15 minutes). I'm not really a fan of other ceremonies like sand, wine or candles, since I feel like they're filler and I'm pretty straight to the point but that's a personal choice. 
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  • jenifufujenifufu
    First Comment
    Ok, i love the idea of reading a literary passage or poem. I will have to check that out. Perhaps when we begin to select an officiant we can come up with more ideas. And how have people chosen their officiant?  I think for us family is important and showing our trust, joy, and commitment to each other. Incorporating a bit of Asian culture would be nice if possible. The FI and I are both Chinese American and he is more involved in Chinese culture than I am in some ways, but I don't think doing a full-blown Buddhist ceremony would be fitting for us since neither of us are practicing Buddhists. I just feel a bit hazy on how I envision it to be!
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    This thread (just a few down from yours) might help.  Lots of us offered ideas for readings, and I even put a transcript of my ceremony in there. 

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/981117/vows-for-those-of-us-who-believe-in-nothing-lebowski#latest

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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