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Wedding Party Woes

candiceandbrantcandiceandbrant member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Help! I dont know about you but i'm having a real hard tine choosing my final bridesmaid. Right now I have my very best friend as MOH, my sister, my friend who is getting married 2 months before me (I am also in her bridal party) and I have 1 spot left and 2 friends to choose from.
Friend 1 - We have been firends since grade 6. And we've been through it all! Travels, fights and finding ourselves becoming grown ups. I've seen her through her depression, 2 bad break-ups and moving away for school. She's helped me through numerous breakups, is always honest and willing to stand up for what she believes in. She is now seeing all her friends getting engaged and finding someone to love and feels the pressure of choosing school over relationships. After having a couple "when is it going to be my turn" conversations I know she is truly happy for me and getting to a better place herself. Despite not knowing whether she is a bridesmaid or not, she has been so helpful and supportive so far. Which is more than i would ever ask for.
Friend 2 - We met when I first moved away from home, took me in as a roomate (with her now husband) when I had nowhere to go, and helped me through my breakup and makeup with my now fiance. Things to a turn for the worse when she moved to a posh neighbourhood with a big house and got engaged. I dont put up with "I'm better than you" attitude but I stood by her when all her friends turned away even when i wanted to walk I had made a commitment to her to be her MOH and helped her plan her non traditional wedding. SHe recently lost her job and has been humbled by the recession and things have just started return to normal for us after we commited to stay more open and honest with eachother and our friendship.
She is now happily pregnant with her first! I had decided on friend 1 and tried to have a convo with her but when told me she would be heartbroken if she wasn't a part of my day, I cracked.  I dont want her to  feel the financial pressure of being a bridesmaid and a new mom (her child will be 5 months at my wedding) And to be brutally honest I dont want to have to worry about baby on my day. That sounds so harsh, believe me I know.
I dont know what to do, I'm not a mom and she is the first of my group of friends to have a baby so I really dont know what the first 5 months is like. Would you really want to be a bridesmaid and a new mom? Help!
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Re: Wedding Party Woes

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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Pick both.  "Slots" are something that you have made up.  If you want both in your wedding, then you should have both.  Uneven wedding parties are fine.

    Also, being a mom and being a bridesmaid are not mutually exclusive.  If she has a problem with the financial, emotional, etc... aspects of the job, then she will tell you.  But, to not offer because of what you percieve her situation to be isn't a good idea.

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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Slots are ridiculous and arbitrary.  Ask them both if you want them both; ask neither if you really don't want either.  You'll regret leaving someone you care about out who should be up there.  You won't look back at your photos and count heads.  You will look at them and see people (not numbers) and either be glad that you included everyone you wanted or kick yourself for not including someone you really did want.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I confess that I stopped reading when you put that you have 1 spot left and 2 "contenders".

    Put them both in the WP.  A WP doesn't have to be symmetrical.  You choose the people you love and call it good.

    Having said that, your wedding is 13 months away.  Wait about 5-6 months before asking anyone.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    What Trix said, as usual I agree with her.
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    If you want both, just have both. Your marriage will still be valid if your WP sides aren't even.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    andy71781andy71781 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Put them both in - and don't worry about her balancing mothering and BM duties - I'm sure she'll find her way to the church and in the right dress (ps that's all she has to do!)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    blackfire5thblackfire5th
    First Comment
    Another vote for both!
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Why would pick between two good friends just for the sake of numbers? Nothing is stopping you from having both. How would YOU feel if someone told you that you didn't make the cut because she only wanted a certain number?
    image
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    lharri12lharri12 member
    First Comment
    Both.  Symmetry isn't as important as having those closest to you stand by your side, is it?!
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    candiceandbrantcandiceandbrant member
    First Comment
    Whoa, alot for both! Thanks all, I really didnt think about having both in my party. Partly I guess because i'm not sure if the stage is big enough to hold 11. But something to think about and make it work. i love these boards, thank you again!!
    Anniversary
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    blackfire5thblackfire5th
    First Comment
    edited August 2010
    <div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-woes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9f1d6f1c-04ba-46fc-b41b-6a8d1c8a93dcPost:6fe46596-18e2-49b7-91a2-4b669719dd8e">Re: Wedding Party Woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whoa, alot for both! Thanks all, I really didnt think about having both in my party. Partly I guess because i'm not sure if the stage is big enough to hold 11. But something to think about and make it work. i love these boards, thank you again!!
    Posted by candiceandbrant[/QUOTE]
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">If you are worried about everyone fitting on the stage, you can have your entire WP process in, and then have everyone sit in the front row.  Then have MOH and BM come up for the vows, and everyone can then process out after the ceremony.</div>
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
    Report Reply
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-woes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9f1d6f1c-04ba-46fc-b41b-6a8d1c8a93dcPost:ea1532c2-3dd1-455b-b647-fdc41d3271a7">Re: Wedding Party Woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Wedding Party Woes : If you are worried about everyone fitting on the stage, you can have your entire WP process in, and then have everyone sit in the front row.  Then have MOH and BM come up for the vows, and everyone can then process out after the ceremony.
    Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]
    Ditto.  This is often done for Catholic ceremonies since they are so long.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
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