Wedding Party Woes (groomsmen -or- groomsmen not)

S&LEvents · June 2013

OK. I have two older brother, both I'm close with. Fiancé is only close to one of the brothers and has picked him to be one of his groomsmen. The other brother is more of a father figure to me and I initially thought about having him walk me down the isle.. Now my grandmother passed away last month and my dad has been trying very hard to rekindle our relationship and very much wants to walk me down the isle.. How can I make my oldest brother apart of the wedding? I want it to be something special.. not just an usher or stand on my side. Any ideas??

AddieCake · June 2013

How is standing on your side not special?

QueerFemme · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

OK. I have two older brother, both I'm close with. Fiancé is only close to one of the brothers and has picked him to be one of his groomsmen. The other brother is more of a father figure to me and I initially thought about having him walk me down the isle.. Now my grandmother passed away last month and my dad has been trying very hard to rekindle our relationship and very much wants to walk me down the isle.. How can I make my oldest brother apart of the wedding? I want it to be something special.. not just an usher or stand on my side. Any ideas??

Standing on your side IS special. you can also have both your brother AND your father walk you down the aisle. (it's aisle... an "isle" is an island).

You could also have your brother walk you down the aisle, and have your father do your father/daughter dance.

Jessa617 · June 2013

Standing on your side would be the same as standing on your FI side. Both are special. I agree with cm about options for walking down the aisle. If you don't feel comfortable having your real father walk you down, you don't have to.

S&LEvents · June 2013

I was looking for some different ideas. Thanks anyway.

wittykitty14 · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

I was looking for some different ideas. Thanks anyway.

....And you got some. You just don't like them.

I personally like the idea that your brother walk you down the aisle (and stand by your side if you want), and then you do a father-daughter dance with your dad.

Here's some other ideas:

-Reader

-If you're doing a Catholic mass, he could help present the Gifts

-He could do a toast

-You could do a dance with him

-Being a guest is an honor. You could always give him a boutinierre to make him feel more included.

S&LEvents · June 2013

I already had the previous ideas listed in my original post. I wanted something other than ushers or standing with my bridesmaids (I didn't say it wasn't special... quite frankly, I know my brother and he would feel awkward doing this). I also want to give my father the chance to walk me down the AISLE. I believe we are going to have him walk my mother down the AISLE and I've given him important roles to help me with planning... like coming up with a play list for the quartet during the cocktail hour and possibly a reading during the ceremony.

zitiqueen · June 2013

Have him perform a juggling act behind you as you walk down the aisle. That's different.

jlm9113 · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

I already had the previous ideas listed in my original post. I wanted something other than ushers or standing with my bridesmaids (I didn't say it wasn't special... quite frankly, I know my brother and he would feel awkward doing this). I also want to give my father the chance to walk me down the AISLE. I believe we are going to have him walk my mother down the AISLE and I've given him important roles to help me with planning... like coming up with a play list for the quartet during the cocktail hour and possibly a reading during the ceremony.

This is neither special nor an honor.

S&LEvents · June 2013

Actually he is a computer wiz and is an assistant band director, so music is his thing. I've never met so many rude people on a message board before. I asked for opinions, not cutting me down. Can anyone tell me how to delete messages from this board.

cmcole4509 · June 2013

Hun I'm sorry if some of the responses here have upset you, but it kind of comes with the territory of posting on a public blog/forum. I've made posts and had some responses that I wasn't fond of but I understood the fact that those are other people's opinions, and since I asked for opinions I wasn't offended. If you don't like what others have to say, than either do not respond or politely thank them for their advice and leave it at that. If you get upset or take offense to everything someone says that doesn't turn out the way you expected, you will be stressed out and unhappy quite a lot. You are planning your wedding! This should be a happy time! Also, you cannot delete messages from this board except for your original post, and even if you delete your original message, the parts that have been copied into other people's responses will remain.

As far as having a role in your wedding, there HAVE been some good suggestions here... It also makes it a little difficult to make suggestions when we don't know what kind of wedding you are having (Christian, Jewish, traditional, non-traditional, etc.). The most common ways for someone to be included in a "traditional" ceremony have been listed already, such as Bridesman, reader, etc. You said your father is trying to get closer to you and HE wants to walk you down the aisle, but YOU said that originally you wanted your brother to do it. Go with what you want. If you are closer to your brother, have him walk you down the aisle. Your dad should be able to respect your relationship with your brother. Maybe one option is to have your brother walk you and have your father standing on your side as a Bridesman.

Just try and relax and take a deep breath. It will all be ok.

S&LEvents · June 2013

Thanks CMCole, this was my first post and I guess I expected people to be a little more supportive and nicer... not correcting my spelling and bashing me. Lesson learned. We're still throwing ideas around and will hopefully come up with a solution soon.

S&LEvents · June 2013

We've been talking about making one of his younger cousins an usher instead of a groomsmen and making my brother a groomsmen. Or having my brother walk me down the AISLE, then hand me off to my dad or even my dad & brother walk me down the AISLE together.

zitiqueen · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

Actually he is a computer wiz and is an assistant band director, so music is his thing. I've never met so many rude people on a message board before. I asked for opinions, not cutting me down. Can anyone tell me how to delete messages from this board.

You got opinions, you just didn't like what you heard. That's what happens when you willingly post on a public message board. You're going to get all kinds of opinions.

daveANDkristen · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

Thanks CMCole, this was my first post and I guess I expected people to be a little more supportive and nicer... not correcting my spelling and bashing me. Lesson learned. We're still throwing ideas around and will hopefully come up with a solution soon.

1. Why are you offended that someone told you the correct way to spell a word. It is probably a word you will use often as a bride, and I think it was nice of someone to tell you the correct spelling.

2. Who bashed you?

daveANDkristen · June 2013

S&LEvents said:

We've been talking about making one of his younger cousins an usher instead of a groomsmen and making my brother a groomsmen.

Both your brother and the cousin can be groomsmen. You do not have to have an even number on each side. Honoring people is more important than symmetry.

Wedding Party Woes (groomsmen -or- groomsmen not)

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