Invitation time line

AllyIdo · June 2013

Here is my plan:

Wedding day: April 13, 2014
Save the dates: Sent last week (the Hangover theme went over very well

Send the invites: October 1
RSVP date: Dec. 31/January 1

This gives people two months to get their shit together, and me plenty of time to plan the rest of the wedding once I know how many people are definitely coming (i.e. what we can afford for a M+G and after dinner celebration, welcome bags). I'm assuming I won't have the final tally until a couple of weeks after that as we will have to hunt some people down.

Is this fair to my guests? Should they know by the end of the year if they are attending? Anyone care to share their experience? I'm wondering how difficult it's going to be to get people to commit.

ktbabe530 · June 2013

I'm so glad you posted this! Etiquette says 6 to 8 weeks for weddings, but I feel like that doesn't apply to Vegas (or any other destination really). We were thinking of doing something similar so we have RSVPs back 2 months ahead of time.

Depending on where guests are coming from they would need to start booking flights around that time anyway. And I totally agree that once you have a number you then know what you afford for everything.

My only thought with your timeline is that it's right around the holidays and usually people are spending a lot and flights on top of that might be too much?

I'm eager to see if others have done anything similar and how it worked out. I would hope that no one would RSVP yes if they didn't already have plane tickets lined up!

AllyIdo · June 2013

Yeah, the holidays are right in there. Hmm. So do I move it earlier or later? And by how much?

As far as etiquette goes, I'm throwing that out the window. My invitations will be mailed with labels, my FMIL is having an East Coast BBQ for a larger group of family and friends, whatever. I know my people and I'm not rude

ktbabe530 · June 2013

I would say maybe a little later if you can, like end of January? Does that still give you enough time?

Only reason I say that is a good friend works for an airline and he says that flights usually have the best price between 2 weeks and 3 months...anything farther out than that they know you need the flight and they can charge a lot more.

kiraregnier · June 2013

I'm getting married on October 13th this year and I sent out my invitations in mid January. I didn't bother with save-the-dates as I didn't want the extra cost of postage and printing. Our RSVP date was June 1st. I wanted to make sure that people had enough time to plan and save up for the trip (most people coming from Ontario and BC) , and so that we could add more people to the list and give them enough time to prepare for it as well. We were limited to 90 people in the chapel and I have a big family. I didn't follow etiquette either. It's your wedding so you should do what makes sense for you! Congrats on your wedding!

AllyIdo · June 2013

Thanks @kiraregnier! So how many people are coming? How many did you invite? Do you think you'll get any people tell you they can make it after the deadline?

seniorprincesslnhs · June 2013

I am actually getting married the week before you (April 6) and I plan to do something similar to @kiraegnier....I didnt want to waste post/money/time on save the dates, so I made our invitations through Vistaprint and plan to send them starting now to the immediate family ands who I anticipate will come/know will come just to be sure they will attend and then using a second round in August to see how many extra spaces we have (we put our guest count at 60 and our family is huge, so not sure how many extras we will have). I made the invitiations to RSVP by December 1st, just because it helps avoid Christmas time and also will allow people 3-4 months to save/buy flights/etc, so yours seems great!

Jiimanie · June 2013

I've done similar to @kiraegnier and @seniorprincesslnhs too, we're getting married on April 14th and have already sent out invites in lieu of save the dates as we wanted to give people as much time as we could to save and book their flights etc (we're from the UK so its quite an expensive trip!)

We've said end of January for RSVPs, which I think will still give us enough time to make adjustments based on final numbers. If people tell us after the deadline that they can come after previously saying they couldn't then whether or not they're accommodated into the day will depend on what space is left! I already have an aunt and uncle who I didn't invite saying they're going to come along anyway for the trip with their daughter (one of my closest cousins, who is invited) and if we don't have space for them at the ceremony/reception then they don't mind!!

AllyIdo · June 2013

Thanks for the input! We sent our save the dates with a link to the website. There is a ton of info there. I hope people will start making plans soon!

EmiliaC01 · June 2013

I agree with moving the RSVP date to later in January. You would still have around 3 months to confirm. You don't want the date to get lost in the holiday shuffle.

CandCWedding2013 · June 2013

I'm getting married in September and we mailed our invites out last week. We sent our save the dates in October so people had about a year to plan. I don't think your invites need to go out so early. 6 to 8 weeks should really be fine. You'll likely already have a good idea whose going to be coming.

I only say this because you did StD's if you hadn't I would def. say mail the invites in October.

missmo14 · June 2013

We are April 14 and we sent save the dates in April. Invitations will go out in October and our RSVP date is February 28.

stoiic25 · June 2013

We are getting married October 15th and I sent my invites this morning with a RSVP date of August 15th, so two months to let me know and then two months for me to plan the final reception, meet and greet. I also did not send save the dates, it was more word of mouth by the parents haha

mnupp · June 2013

stoiic25 said:

We are getting married October 15th and I sent my invites this morning with a RSVP date of August 15th, so two months to let me know.

Same timeline--we sent mid-May, RSVP August 1, wedding Sept 28.

It's still 4 months out and I'm already dying a bit trying to get headcounts and meet-and-greet together, so I can't imagine how I would feel if I'd waited longer.

Just last week I got an invitation to a wedding in Fargo, ND (I live in NY) because they abided by the 6-8 week rule and it felt WAAAAAY too late. If you know your guests are going to have to buy a plane ticket, you should definitely give them a solid heads up.

kiraregnier · June 2013

@allyscud we invited 100 people at first then were able to add an extra 20. So far we have 59 people coming and 17 who have yet to reply. I need to start calling people to remind them the RSVP date was June 1st! I think we'll end up with about 65 in the end. I think that's pretty good for a destination wedding

J9lawrence · June 2013

@kiraregnier I am getting married on October 13 too. How has your response in RSVP's been?

I skipped the Save the Dates so I could put extra funds to our actual invitations (which turn out awesome!) and we sent them out the beginning of February. I have asked for everybody to RSVP by August 13. Half of my guest have RSVP but nobody has booked flight or hotel yet so I am worried that those numbers might change. I feel like the 6 - 8 weeks doesn't give your guest adequate time to schedule holidays or plan for a trip so I figured the more time the better. I am kind of assuming that there might be a few people that will change their minute last mind and join us. Has that happened to anybody else?

connor1975 · June 2013

Just a FYI to as its holiday season and the mail system is extremely busy, getting rsvp back Dec 31/Jan 1 might not happen! I would put it closer to the end of Jan!

ellenmarie30 · June 2013

We're getting married March 1st, I didn't do save the dates either, I sent out the invites last week with an RSVP of Dec 1, this way people know about it, can save and still get through the holidays. It also gives me time to get a final head count for the reception and if anyone is late getting them back to me I don't have to stress.

vegasgroom · June 2013

I think the 6 to 8 week thing doesn't make sense for a destination wedding, and since most weddings involve some guests traveling, I personally don't like such a short notice even for a local wedding.

We sent our std's pretty early, around 11 months, and invites went out in January for our June wedding, gave people 10 weeks to respond. Many guests said thanks for sending the invite because it reminded them they needed to book, some said the long response time was helpful because they needed to start working on their boss/work/etc to get off, so on and so forth. I feel like giving people more than enough time can't be bad in any way where late notice and a quick response time just adds unnecessary pressure.

I do recommend not sending anything in December in case it gets lost. Might be a good reason to not encourage things to come back in that month either for the same reason.

Valeriecruz82 · June 2013

We are getting married May 3, 2014 and I'm thinking we will send them out in October and have them due back by the end of January. That should give everyone enough time after the holiday season.

mbenoit03 · June 2013

We mailed save the dates in December for our June wedding, and invitations went out March 1st, with a April 20th day rsvp date. I feel like 7 wks was not enough time for me to arrange the final headcount, i wish i set the rsvp date a little sooner. Let me tell you a lot can change in a few months, people who said they couldn't go, tried to attend one week before! We had to turn down a few guests but in the end 3 cancelled last minute so we could have taken 3 more. We invited 65 guests and expected 35, but in the end the total was 47 (we gave the final headcount of 50)

AllyIdo · June 2013

Ugh I just spoke to my step mom about this and she thinks sending them in October for an April 13th wedding is too early. She said that people might say they will come and then change their minds later. I'm going to have the RSVP date be January 31... that's 2.5 months before. I think people should know if they can come by then.

Valeriecruz82 · June 2013

@allyscud I think that is a good time line! My wedding is 3 weeks after yours and I'm having the same timeline lol

missmo14 · June 2013

Ally we are the day after you and sending ours in October with a February 28 RSVP date. Yes thats heaps of notice/time however we figure that anybody who forgets/misses the RSVP date clearly isnt really interested. Most of our guests are holding off on RSVP til they book their flights. However some immediate family and super close friends have already RSVPd.

mnupp · June 2013

We're getting married 9/28. Got engaged in January and sent Save the Dates in February (pretty much as soon as we knew the date--we figured if we knew, we wanted our guests to know too!).

Sent invitations mid-May with an Aug 1 deadline. Yes, it's 2 months notice, but I'm a spazz and want to know ASAP! And we already have 70% of our RSVPs in, and have had conversations with most people who are on-the-fence about their life situations (looking for jobs, don't know vacation schedules, etc).

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