"Is This Your Second Marriage?"

PhoneCardLady · August 2012

I ran into the 7-11 yesterday morning to pick up the Sunday paper and get some donuts to take to my FI. The lady behind the counter noticed my engagement ring and asked if it was my second marriage and just said no.

Why is it that when an older person has an engagement ring on their finger (and mine is not big by any means) and think they are getting remarried?

kikirst33 · August 2012

You got me. I get the same question - actually people just assume that I"ve been married before. Nope.

Waited until I met the right guy even if it took 42 years!

Swaptac · August 2012

Why do people need to ask at all? What does it matter to them? Will they not wish you well if it is your second? It really isn't anyone's business.

getaclue44 · August 2012

I got asked the same thing by a guy doing work on my house--and I am only 35...I had no clue what to say--

Kristin789 · August 2012

First marriage at 43 here, and I have no idea why people say stupid things. Unless they married young and they are bitter and sad about their own choices, and now they wish THEY were getting married this year to a better guy to have a better life.

PhoneCardLady · August 2012

Oh, another stupid thing - I walk into a bridal shop and without even asking they tell me they can help me find a Mother of the Bride/Groom dress....

2dBride · August 2012

Tell me about it! NotFroofy is 15 years younger than me--and she was 41 when we got married. When we went to bridal stores together, I was always being pegged as the MOB.

Actually, there was one where the consultant asked each of us separately when we were getting married, and then exclaimed, "How unusual that two such good friends would get married on the same day!" Fortunately, after we explained in simple language, she got with the program. LOL

ArcheryGirl1 · August 2012

Actually, yes this is my 2nd marriage. So what? Just blow those people off because they are nosy.

theelusive1 · August 2012

I would have said no it is my 12th. Then I would have walked away. or how about was that 2nd or 7th? yes it is the 7th.

anna.oskar · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_is-this-your-second-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:963de0a8-a261-4ae0-8d03-02f91e3b2487Post:925db3ae-46de-4975-8a4f-d9e070ae3021">Re: "Is This Your Second Marriage?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do people need to ask at all? What does it matter to them? Will they not wish you well if it is your second? It really isn't anyone's business.
Posted by Swaptac[/QUOTE]

<div>Because people are nosy as all hell. They think (my mom is that sort of person) that they're just trying to engage you in conversation. They don't realize that they're just being dumb. These are the same people who insist on asking new brides when they're going to have a baby. No filter at all.</div>

The Garter Brides · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_is-this-your-second-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:963de0a8-a261-4ae0-8d03-02f91e3b2487Post:16787ee5-02f2-4e83-8fc4-e60b3f4797c0">"Is This Your Second Marriage?"</a>:
[QUOTE]I ran into the 7-11 yesterday morning to pick up the Sunday paper and get some donuts to take to my FI. The lady behind the counter noticed my engagement ring and asked if it was my second marriage and just said no. Why is it that when an older person has an engagement ring on their finger (and mine is not big by any means) and think they are getting remarried?
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]<div>When this happened to me I would reply that it is my first marriage and that I waited to so long I skipped the young first one and went right to the second!

</div>

lmm092667 · June 2013

I had a similar experience. This is my 2nd marriage and I am 45. My fiance is 37 and has never been married he and his family wanted a real wedding so that is what I'm doing. The whole shebang...country club, white dress, bridesmaids etc. I went to a dress store w/ my 18 year old (who by the way looks about 16) and I was pulling dresses and she was carrying some for me. A sales lady took the dresses from her and put them in a dressing room. Then I pulled one more and my daughter carried it for me. We were standing there waiting for the sales consultant assigned to us and she walked over looked at my daughter and said "are you the bride". I have had some of the worst insults in bridal salons. What is it with these people. I'm 5 feet, 8 inches tall and wear a size 16. One sales consultant in a bridal shop near my house came up to me and basically told me I was too fat to try on samples in their store. Unreal!!

kennede · June 2013

I am 46, my fiance is 44. It is a second wedding for us both. I have not had too many people asking for clarifiction on what # it is and I have found the bridal stores to be very helpful, however we did have the photographer, during our interview of him, ask if we were the couple getting married or if we were hiring him for our child's wedding. We just laughed. My fiance said "my kids are 11 and 12 so they definitely aren't getting married. Not to disappoint, it is just us two middle-aged folks."

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