I want to invite my Godmother to my wedding.

EEY0RE9 · June 2013

Thanks

deannagirly · June 2013

Are you inviting other children to the wedding? If not just address the invitations to only her and don't include the kids. Then if she RSVP's with the kids call and kindly explain that you don't have the room to accommodate the children.

QueerFemme · June 2013

EEY0RE9 said:

I love my godmother, but she is the trashy part of my family. She used to be ok until she started doing drugs and stuff and all her kids have gone downhill as well. Shes off of drugs now but is still a little trashy. My cousin (her daughter) has 6 kids with all different men! and wont stop having them from what it seems. They all been taken away by the state 3 times. They all live with my godmom. So if I invite her she will bring them all and those kids are pretty bad. How can I just invite only her and maybe my younger guy cousin who is not bad at all and not seem rude about it? Or should I invite her at all?

And please no rude suggestions. I just an good suggestion to help me with this predicament.

Elope.

tiny speck · June 2013

Just invite the godmother and her SO if she has one. If she rsvps with the kids, just let her know the invitation was just for her. I think it's pretty simple.

AddieCake · June 2013

EEY0RE9 said:

And please no rude suggestions. I just an good suggestion to help me with this predicament.

Were you satisfied with the level of non-rude suggestions you received? I feel I need to double-check now, since yesterday a slew of people who all gave friendly and positive advice were called catty. I just don't know what people want anymore.

southernbelle0915 · June 2013

Just address her invitation to her and her SO (if she has one). You are not obligated to invite her grandchildren or any of her children if you don't want to.

misssunshine17 · June 2013

Ditto PPs. I just have to add I think it's pretty mean the way you called her and her family trashy multiple times.

crunchymamaof2 · June 2013

AddieL73 said:

EEY0RE9 said:

And please no rude suggestions. I just an good suggestion to help me with this predicament.

Were you satisfied with the level of non-rude suggestions you received? I feel I need to double-check now, since yesterday a slew of people who all gave friendly and positive advice were called catty. I just don't know what people want anymore.

She should be thrilled because I saw a million things that should have been pointed out that she was way off on. Trashy? Really? If she's that "trashy" why invite her at all? I'm serious. You describe her as some terrible woman. If you want to invite her, address the invite to just her and her SO if she has one. When she RSVPs back with the kids names as well you can tell her the invite was only for her. If you think she will bring the kids anyway then I'd skip on the invite at all. You can't invite one child and not the others.

NYCBruin · June 2013

Send everyone an invitation along with a link to this post. I doubt they will want to come and probably RSVP "no" after reading it. I hope you didn't find that rude, but I found your original post to be judgmental and rude.

golden1215 · June 2013

Doesnt sound like someone I would want at my wedding at all... don't invite any of them if they truly are drugged out, irresponsible breeders.

If you only want her just invite her and her significant other. If she doesnt have one, and she's allowed a +1, be prepared for her to bring one of her kids.

In which case refer back to my first sentence.

harper0813 · June 2013

Woooooww.

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way, you are permitted to invite just her as long as you are inviting her significant other as well, if she has one. I would definitely not recommend inviting only one of her children, though. It's all or none.

And if these children of hers are your cousins, you are better off not inviting any of your other cousins or you will end up hurting your godmother's feelings. I hope you don't want to do that.

ranzzo · June 2013

Your invitation question was answered by others so I'm not going to address that. I will say that coming from someone with three brothers and we all have different fathers, I think you are seriously rude and judgmental (my mother is the biggest goodie two shoes you will ever meet). That's a terrible way to treat someone you "care" about. Life happens, people make mistakes, some learn from those mistakes and grow, others don't. I commend your Godmother for her recovery on top of raising her grandchildren. That is not an easy accomplishment and kudos to her. I really hope your Godmother knows how you truly feel about her. If she does, I hope she turns down your invitation and spends her time with people that truly care for her.

BangBangs39 · June 2013

ranzzo said:

Your invitation question was answered by others so I'm not going to address that. I will say that coming from someone with three brothers and we all have different fathers, I think you are seriously rude and judgmental (my mother is the biggest goodie two shoes you will ever meet). That's a terrible way to treat someone you "care" about. Life happens, people make mistakes, some learn from those mistakes and grow, others don't. I commend your Godmother for her recovery on top of raising her grandchildren. That is not an easy accomplishment and kudos to her. I really hope your Godmother knows how you truly feel about her. If she does, I hope she turns down your invitation and spends her time with people that truly care for her.

Not to be overly defensive of a strange but I'd like to specify a point she made "My cousin (her daughter) has 6 kids with all different men! and wont stop having them from what it seems. They all been taken away by the state 3 times." Having children by different partners isn't so much what's bad... its continuously having them and having them taken away by the state that is what's bad. I've had to chance to first hand witness a child taken by the state because his mother was a crack whore who cared more about dope and sex then she did her own children, that little boy is now part of our family (FI aunt adopted him) and if you could see the difference in that child from when he first went to live with them to now... its astonishing! So I guess my point is this, having multiple children by multiple fathers isn't so bad as long as you can take care of ALL of them.

ranzzo · June 2013

I said nothing about the choices the child of the Godmother made or in any way justified her behavior. I was pointing out how judgmental the OP sounded in her statements. She is coming off extremely holier than thou.

EEY0RE9 · June 2013

I got my answers. If i'm judgmental then all of you are bigger judges. Most of you judged me about being a "judgy pants" and you all are judging me. You all don't know the story of why I only want my godmom and younger cousin there. I've never said that it was bad that she had kids with different men did I? I also did not mention your mom once because hell I don't even know who she is, so why did it bother you so much? You obviously have bigger issues to solve yourself about your own family. As long as women have kids and take care of them I will not judge because it's not my place. This is my family and I know what theyre like no one else. I do love my aunt, with all my heart. She's been there for me and my mom forever. But I cannot deny that she is that trashy part of my family because she is. I'm pretty sure all of you have that ONE family member. No is perfect and I know I am not. But I refuse to have my cousin and her zoo of kids at my wedding because I know they will not be disciplined. thank you all who answered. I appreciate the suggestions. I will not come back to this post.

Weezy56 · June 2013

I could see that DD coming

wittykitty14 · June 2013

EEY0RE9 said:

I got my answers. If i'm judgmental then all of you are bigger judges. Most of you judged me about being a "judgy pants" and you all are judging me. You all don't know the story of why I only want my godmom and younger cousin there. I've never said that it was bad that she had kids with different men did I? I also did not mention your mom once because hell I don't even know who she is, so why did it bother you so much? You obviously have bigger issues to solve yourself about your own family. As long as women have kids and take care of them I will not judge because it's not my place. This is my family and I know what theyre like no one else. I do love my aunt, with all my heart. She's been there for me and my mom forever. But I cannot deny that she is that trashy part of my family because she is. I'm pretty sure all of you have that ONE family member. No is perfect and I know I am not. But I refuse to have my cousin and her zoo of kids at my wedding because I know they will not be disciplined. thank you all who answered. I appreciate the suggestions. I will not come back to this post.

I'm just going to go straight down the bolds.

When you post on an open forum, you need to be prepared for any possible answer and attitudes people give you. We give honest feedback based on what you tell us and the tone that comes across. Whether or not you judge your family like this, your wording suggested otherwise, and that's all we have to go on. And there's a difference between our "judging" and yours. We're internet strangers, making opinions based on what you've said (because you asked for them). You're judging people close to you, that you know. Big difference.

You never said it flat out, but it strongly came across that way.

It's really not your place regardless.

To those last two bolds, that's EXACTLY why your posts are coming across as judgy. Calling a loved one "trashy" and saying "zoo of kids" won't win you points.

Regardless of what you intended to convey, I just wanted to point out these things so that you might understand why everyone responded the way they did. If you worded yourself differently we still would have understood your situation and you probably would have received a lot less "judgy" responses. It's the internet. All we can go on is what you write.

ranzzo · June 2013

You're a swell person. Keeping lighting up the world with that sun shining attitude. I feel so very sorry for your Godmother.

I want to invite my Godmother to my wedding.

Re: I want to invite my Godmother to my wedding.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards