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Invites and Paper

Paper invite, RSVP via email?

We are having our invites printed, but to save time, energy and money we are thinking of doing electronic rsvp for those who are savvy, and sending paper rsvp's to those who aren't. Can I just create an email address and have those attending send an email to rsvp? Is that tacky?

Re: Paper invite, RSVP via email?

  • Well the people with no computer at home or work are being given a paper RSVP, and those who aren't are being given an email address to send their name and guest's name to.

     

    Why is it harder to send an email than it is to fill out a card and walk it to a mail box? I would think it's as easy either way.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2013
    I have lightning fast Internet. However, once upon a time, I had molasses slow Internet and it took forever just to boot the damned thing up. So it is not always more convenient just because someone owns a computer. Also, I just think weddings deserve something a little nicer than online RSVPs.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    [Deleted User]
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Well the people with no computer at home or work are being given a paper RSVP, and those who aren't are being given an email address to send their name and guest's name to.

     

    Why is it harder to send an email than it is to fill out a card and walk it to a mail box? I would think it's as easy either way.

    Whether it's harder or not is not the point.  What etiquette actually calls for is for the guest to write out and mail back their reply.

    There's no reason why you can't have electronic replies-but I would not make them in lieu of handwritten ones.  It does suggest that you're trying to save money at their expense.


  • Besides being rude to your guests, email and electronic RSVPs are also harder for you to keep track of.  What if some of them go into your spam folder because you never email with Third Cousin Jane?  What if some people aren't clear about what their dinner choice is or who they are bringing with them?  Paper RSVPs allow much less room for error and are more polite for reasons already stated.

    Also, how do you know for sure if someone has a computer in their home?  I only invited 52 people and I don't know who all does and doesn't have a computer.  Just because someone is young doesn't necessarily mean they own a computer and are digitally literate.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers

    Also, how do you know for sure if someone has a computer in their home?  I only invited 52 people and I don't know who all does and doesn't have a computer.  Just because someone is young doesn't necessarily mean they own a computer and are digitally literate.
    Yeah, I was wondering this as well. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • well thank you all for the food for thought. We will have to think this over and decide what will be best. Good thing I asked early! We don't need to order our invites for another three months so there is time to figure it all out. Thanks again!
  • well thank you all for the food for thought. We will have to think this over and decide what will be best. Good thing I asked early! We don't need to order our invites for another three months so there is time to figure it all out. Thanks again!

    if you are trying to save money, try doing a postcard. The actual stationary is cheaper as is the postage. 

    Also, people are much more likely to RSVP if they have a paper card.  If you are doing email only, the invitation will sit in their mail pile somewhere until they remember "oh yeah, I have to rsvp" and then take the rsvp to a computer and log in, etc.  If they have a postage-paid envelope, they are more likely to just cross of the "yes/no" box and drop it in the mail. 

  • OtterJOtterJ member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    We went non-traditional, and did not have a mailing option to RSVP.  Our invitation had an insert that gave two options:  one website, and a phone number.  The phone had an answering machine with a wedding-related greeting.  I used the knot to create a website that had our story, photos, a place to RSVP, and guest book.  Since we imported our guest list into the knot, the RSVP feature was very easy to use.  The guest would type their name, and each name in their party would come up.  They would then accept/decline/choose meals for each person listed.  Makes it impossible for them to RSVP for an additional, uninvited plus one :-)

    I did this for a few reasons:
    1 - we had a pretty casual wedding, so the casual RSVP method didn't bother me.

    2 - We had a very small budget.  I didn't want to use envelopes for people to mail, and not include stamps, but I also didn't want to spend $100 extra dollars on nothing but RSVP stamps. 

    3 - Some people just don't RSVP.  I don't know why, but some people just don't do it, not matter what method you use.  I thought I would probably get upset if I spent money on an RSVP method that people didn't have the courtesy of using. 

    4 - We didn't cater, so we didn't need exact numbers.  If these new methods scared people, and we didn't get an accurate count, it really wasn't the end of the world. 

    Our Results:
    1 - Fantastic!  Having the online RSVP encouraged people to visit our website, which had all kinds of fun things to read, and extra details to give. 

    2 - We actually had a lot of people to respond this way, and it kept track for us.  It sent us an e-mail every time someone would RSVP, or leave a message on our guest page.  That was a lot of fun!

    3 - Some people didn't respond.  But hey, we knew they wouldn't.  The number of non-responders was pretty low,.  Most of the people that didn't respond didn't come.  The few that came anyway, and the people that had responded "yes" but didn't come, was almost even.  Our guest guess was almost dead-on! 

    4 - Some people responded with different methods.  Some people told us in person, or on facebook, or called us on our cell phone (instead of using the number in the invitation).  If I had spent a bunch of money on stamps, then these kinds of responses probably would have upset me.  Since we didn't spend any money though, it was totally fine.  I just went to our wedding website (which I was visiting often, anyway), and checked them off to keep the number accurate.  No big deal!

    All in all, it received a pretty good response from guests, nobody complained, it was all very organized, and I would recommend it.  Using an e-mail response system won't be as easy, because you have to tally those and keep track yourself.  A website makes it easier.

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