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Bachelorette party vent. Trying not to be a Bridezilla.

I am trying so hard to not be a bridezilla, and would like some advice.  If I'm wrong I will 100% back down, and would appreciate unbiased advice.

My bachelorette party is in Vegas next month.  It already has had an insane amount of drama around it to the point I wouldn't go anymore if so many people hadn't already booked plane tickets.  I really am not looking forward to it anymore.

Today my sister calls me to tell me she invited her new co-worker friend to the party.  WTF!!!  She claims she told me months ago she had drunkenly invited the co-worker and I said it was no big deal.  I have no recollection of this, and would never had said yes to someone I don't know.    Apparently, co-worker's husband will be in Vegas for a bachelor party and she has now decided to come too and go to mine.   Plane tickets have already been purchased. 

I'm upset!  I do have a large group of friends going, but there were others I could've included and didn't due to size.  It's also not like my sister doesn't have friends already there.  Two of the girls invited were bridesmaids in her wedding, and she is extremely close to them.  She wasn't going to be alone out there.  Now I have some random girl that's coming to hang out with my sister.   She is claiming the co-worker will spend most of her time with her husband.  There's no way that will happen.  He's in Vegas for a bachelor party.  I highly doubt the groom to be wants his friend's wife hanging out with them the whole time.   So that leaves the friend hanging out at her hotel alone or coming with us.

Am I crazy to be this upset over this? 
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Re: Bachelorette party vent. Trying not to be a Bridezilla.

  • What are you doing for your party? That will greatly influence my advice
  • @Teddy917  The plans for the party are to get a cabana poolside during the day, dinner reservations for the group, and then bottle service that night.   FI is paying for a large chunk of the bottle service that night, as a present to me and a thank you to my friends for flying all the way to Vegas.
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  • I agree with @Teddy917 that it depends on what type of plans you have.  If you're just going to be out bar hopping and whatnot, you'll probably barely notice her.

    I do understand why you're upset, especially when you excluded some of your own friends, but I don't think it's worth it to let it ruin your trip.  I would just let it go and enjoy Vegas!
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  • suzie211suzie211 member
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    edited June 2013
    @Belle2188 The add on of this random friend alone wasn't the only concern for not having a good time.  It was just another add on to a long list of craziness.

    After discussing where to have the party, most of the consensus was a destination instead of staying local.  We picked Vegas.  I have another friend getting married in mid November. We're not close, but are part of a large group of friends.  I am closer to her sister and mother, than the actual bride.  Neither of us share wedding parties, but do have a handful of friends in common.  November bride freaked that she had called dibs on Vegas (because you know only one person a year can have a party there), and was upset none of her friends would show up if they went to mine in July. 

    I agreed to a joint party to calm the freakout.  This has created a financial burden for a few of the guests that are mutual friends.  November bride is insisting on two separate nights to celebrate so I don't steal her thunder.   I've asked for more joint pieces (1 joint dinner instead of 2 seperate, and we're keeping the cabana optional so those that can't afford everything don't stretch themselves financially).   All of this with the intent to help with the friends' finances.  November bride is pissed at anyone not going to everything, and is making it very clear how upset she is.

    This is just additional drama on top of the original mess.  And why I am not really thrilled about going anymore.  I'm hoping the excitement comes back before I have to get on the plane.

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  • I disagree with @belle2188 and @teddy917. It doesn't matter what your plans are it goes against etiquette to invite anyone to a pre-wedding party who isn't invited to the actual wedding. So your sister is definitely in the wrong here. It isn't her party to invite people to crash.

    But since the co-worker has already bought tickets I'm really not sure what you should do at this point.

    I'm sorry there is so much drama surrounding your bachelorette party. It sounds like the other bride is really being a bride-zilla but I don't think anyone will blame you for that. I'm sure once you get there you will have a great time!


  • @bethsmiles I just meant that if it's something where one more person will just blend into the background it might be ok to say that she can come. But if its something where the bride would be uncomfortable then no way should she let this woman come.
    I vote to tell your sister that this woman can't come.
  • @bethsmiles I'm not saying her sister was right.  She is 100% wrong, but I don't know that there's much she can do at this point that won't cause more drama since this woman has already bought plane tickets...

    @suzie211 I'm so sorry things have been so stressful, and I get that this isn't the only issue surrounding the party, but I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time anyway.  By all means, let your sister know she screwed up big time, and you wouldn't be wrong to ask her to uninvite her coworker--I just don't know if I would risk the additional drama, but that totally depends on your relationship with your sister and how she would react.  
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  • @belle2188 and @teddy917 - Ah, I see. Ok, well that makes more sense! Probably a comprehension fail on my part :)


  • Hugs to you, Suzie. If this November bride insists on making a spectacle over people not being able to go to everything, being mad for you "stealing" Vegas - that's all on her. Any reasonable person won't blame you for anything. I hope you manage to enjoy yourself anyway :)
  • @suzie211 - well, it was crappy of your sister to invite this extra person, but at this point, I would totally try to stop stressing about it. Like someone else mentioned, with all the people there, this one extra will blend into the background. Focus on relaxing, enjoying a great time in Vegas, and your friends. Everything else will work itself out.
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  • Thanks for the advice. You're all right that I should just focus on enjoying Vegas. I'm sure it will end up being a good time. The amount of drama right now has made it hard to focus on that. I always thought the bachelorette party would be the easiest of the planning process. It hasn't turned out that way. Even with the craziness, all that really matters is marrying FI. This drama doesn't change that.

    I've told my sister she was wrong. She disagrees and thinks she's entitled to have her friend there because it's such a large group. I'm not happy about it, but will live with her decision. If her friend is mad at me I can live with that too. I really can't change it.

    Ultimately, it is Vegas and I will have my closest friends there with me. That's all that really matters about the trip. Plus there's a never ending amount of alcohol to help me forget all of this crazy
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  • cu97tiger said:
    @suzie211 - well, it was crappy of your sister to invite this extra person, but at this point, I would totally try to stop stressing about it. Like someone else mentioned, with all the people there, this one extra will blend into the background. Focus on relaxing, enjoying a great time in Vegas, and your friends. Everything else will work itself out.
    This!  It sucks and it was a crappy thing to do, but at this point, it's out of your hands.  The best you can do is stop worrying about it and just try to enjoy yourself!

    When is the trip?
  • @Pepper6 The trip isn't until the end of July. Right now the drama is fresh. I'm hoping nothing else happens between now and then. That way we can have some space and work on just enjoying the trip.
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  • suzie211 said:
    Thanks for the advice. You're all right that I should just focus on enjoying Vegas. I'm sure it will end up being a good time. The amount of drama right now has made it hard to focus on that. I always thought the bachelorette party would be the easiest of the planning process. It hasn't turned out that way. Even with the craziness, all that really matters is marrying FI. This drama doesn't change that. I've told my sister she was wrong. She disagrees and thinks she's entitled to have her friend there because it's such a large group. I'm not happy about it, but will live with her decision. If her friend is mad at me I can live with that too. I really can't change it. Ultimately, it is Vegas and I will have my closest friends there with me. That's all that really matters about the trip. Plus there's a never ending amount of alcohol to help me forget all of this crazy
    Exactly. Also, I'm glad that the trip isn't next week. Right now your focus is on this drama, but sometime soon there will be other things to worry about, and that weekend in July will be a great time getting away with friends, sunning yourself by the pool and drinking all. the. drinks.

    Where are you guys staying?
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  • @cu97tiger  We're staying at the MGM.  Wet Republic launched part of their expansion this summer, so the pool scene is supposed to be even better than before.   This is what I'm looking forward to the most.   I've been to Vegas lots, but never been to a pool while there.  I've heard I've been really missing out!
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  • @tarratall You are right!   I am very fortunate to have friends that want to fly half way across the country.   One random girl shouldn't cloud how awesome the women in my life are.  I am a very lucky girl to have the friends I do!  

    I'm sorry your party didn't turn out as planned!  Honestly, I'd love for any of the NEY girls to crash Vegas so I get where you are coming from.  I've never met my sister's friend, but I do feel like I know the girls here and would have an awesome time with any of them.
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