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Baby due near wedding time

BlondieBia21BlondieBia21 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I've been debating on what to RSVP for my friend's wedding. We live in a different state than where we are from and that is where the wedding will be. The wedding is 16 days before my due date, and my OB has been saying all along to expect her early. Yes, my friend knows I'm expecting and it's near the time of her wedding. I don't know if we will be attending because it pretty much depends how things are the day before/of the wedding/what OB says on if we will drive the 2 hours or not. Do I just explain this to her and RSVP yes? But then I'd hate to be a no show and have them pay for us if we aren't going to be there. I am probably just over analyzing this between preparing for my own wedding and for our baby girl to be here! I will be the first to admit that I am NO good when it comes to proper etiquette and I never really paid that much attention to these details until I started planning my own, so I am trying to make sure I do the right thing! 
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Re: Baby due near wedding time

  • zizibetzizibet member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
                 I'd RSVP no, and just send a note to the bride that you're sorry to miss the wedding.  I just don't see that you'll really be wanting to travel either with a newborn or when you're that pregnant.
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  • BlondieBia21BlondieBia21 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Very good point. I think I just needed to get it all out before I really could think it all the way through. I had been so convinced that I HAD to be there that I didn't even stop to think about what it would be like to travel that quick with a newborn or being that pregnant! Thank you!
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  • niki&robniki&rob member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Do you have health problems which would  make your doctor think that you would be early?  If not, your first child is normally late. although if it were me, i would be worried to travel. I have had 2 babies so i can undestand the fear. you definitley want to be near home around the time you are expected to deliver!
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would just RSVP no and send a gift. Save yourself the stress. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I"d probably be too nervous to go or too uncomfortable to travel. 


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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I would not travel to another state that close to my due date.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    We had someone attend our wedding that was overdue!  They traveled close to 2 hours as well.  We told our venue the situation and they allowed us to provide a last minute yes or no for that couple.  The expecting mother had gone to her doctor the day before our wedding and the doctor had assured the couple the baby wasn't near delivering and they attended!!   If you're close to the couple, you may see if that is an option.  However comfort and reassurance of being near home is priceless.
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  • MrsLillyGMrsLillyG member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper

    Id say rsvp no.  Alot of people are really uncomfortable at 8.5 mos pregnant, so you probably wont be in the mood to go anyways.

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  • courtneythesquidcourtneythesquid member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    My impression is that your deep down feeling is that you should not try to go, but you are afraid of dissapointing your friend.  If that is the case, I would RSVP no, and not feel one bit guilty.  It is better to say no up front than to cancel at the last minute, when your friend has already paid for everything.  If she is any kind of friend at all, she will understand!

    If my impression is wrong, and you really do want to try to go if you possibly can, I would call or email your friend, and explain the situation.  Explain that there is a possibility you could have to cancel at the last minute, and would hate to do that to her, but you want to try to be there if you can.  Ask her if she has any thoughts.  This may enable her to research if her venue can be a little flexible on the number (as JoanE2012 noted above) or not.

    Whatever you do, just don't be that person who puts off your RSVP until the last possible second! 

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  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think this is one of those situations where it's perfectly fair to say that you won't be able to RSVP until right before the wedding. Two hours doesn't seem too far to me, but I've never been pregnant! If I were the bride, I would definitely be willing to play it by ear, and I would hope that the caterers would understand the situation. Don't they always make a little extra food, anyway?
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  • daubachsgirl23daubachsgirl23 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Agree with PPs.  Decline and send a nice card and gift.  A two hour drive will likely seem awfully long when you're 38 weeks pregnant.
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  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
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    I would decline and send a nice gift.  Save yourself (and your baby) the stress of having to worry about it.
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  • AbbyjensenAbbyjensen member
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    If I was really close to this person, and I honestly wanted to attend the wedding (not just to please her), I would inquire about the venue and RSVPs. 

    If I wasn't that close, I would RSVP no and be done with it. 
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  • annathy03annathy03 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    If the bride is one of your best friends I'd talk to her about RSVPing decline but that you *may* be able to make it. Most of the venues I have seen allow the count to go up after the final guarantee, just not down, so she may be able to work with you there. If you aren't extremely close I'd just decline and send a gift, as other PPs have said you may want to be home that far into your pregnancy.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd decline and send a card and very nice gift.
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My sister was three weeks out and attended a wedding four hours away.  Her water broke at the reception.  Fortunately she was close to wear my parents live, so she at least had some family there right away, but it was very nerve-wracking.  Bit of a horror story for you, but from my sister's experience, I would think it best to be careful and not attend.  Your friend will understand. 

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