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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Registering for honeymoon "bad etiquette"?

Sheesh. I belong here for 24 hours and I've already posted two questions ... halp.

Some background: My fiancee is a food photographer. As such, we are kind of drowning in kitchen/cooking items. We have even the most useless kitchen equipment (who needs a strawberry pitter, or a cabinet of food processors ... ?!)  

So, in essence, we really need nothing for the house. We've lived together for three-ish years now, and we've basically purchased for ourselves every household item we need, down to the last hand towel. We want to do some minor repairs to the condo, but that's obviously not something you ask for (although we would use any money we receive toward such things). Otherwise, we're not sure what to register for, or even to register at all. 

My idea was to register for honeymoon stuff through Honeyfund or Wanderable (we love to travel, and though we'll likely go on a honeymoon anyway, it would be wonderful to offset the costs). But my mother made some passing reference to guests paying for a honeymoon being considered "bad etiquette" by my grandmother; she said guests expect to help you furnish your new home. 

Does anyone else have any thoughts on honeymoon registries? Are they in poor taste?

And second question, if we don't do a honeymoon registry, what do we do instead? Is it in poor taste to simply not register, as that might make it seem like we just want envelopes of cash?

Thanks much!

Re: Registering for honeymoon "bad etiquette"?

  • Yes, many people consider them to be in poor taste.  Check out the "Announcement" thread at the top of the Registering and Gifts board.

    You are actually better off not registering than doing a HR.  With an HR you're not really getting hotel rooms or excursions, you are getting cash with the HR website taking a cut.  IMO, it is more polite to not register  and graciously accept any gifts (cash or boxed) than to do a HR registry.

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  • NOT registering is never rude. People will likely understand that it's because there isn't anything you need and that cash would be welcomed. However, it is rude to ask for money and that's what a honeymoon registry does. Don't register. People will give you cash. All will be fine.
  • Run far and fast from honeymoon registries. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Sheesh. I belong here for 24 hours and I've already posted two questions ... halp.

    Some background: My fiancee is a food photographer. As such, we are kind of drowning in kitchen/cooking items. We have even the most useless kitchen equipment (who needs a strawberry pitter, or a cabinet of food processors ... ?!)  

    So, in essence, we really need nothing for the house. We've lived together for three-ish years now, and we've basically purchased for ourselves every household item we need, down to the last hand towel. We want to do some minor repairs to the condo, but that's obviously not something you ask for (although we would use any money we receive toward such things). Otherwise, we're not sure what to register for, or even to register at all. 

    My idea was to register for honeymoon stuff through Honeyfund or Wanderable (we love to travel, and though we'll likely go on a honeymoon anyway, it would be wonderful to offset the costs). But my mother made some passing reference to guests paying for a honeymoon being considered "bad etiquette" by my grandmother; she said guests expect to help you furnish your new home. 

    Does anyone else have any thoughts on honeymoon registries? Are they in poor taste?

    And second question, if we don't do a honeymoon registry, what do we do instead? Is it in poor taste to simply not register, as that might make it seem like we just want envelopes of cash?

    Thanks much!
    If you've only been here 24 hours, you should try lurking a bit to see if your questions have already been asked. This was was asked and answered within the last couple days. Check out some of the etiquette board to get some good answers. 

    1) Yes it's rude.
    2) You have the choice of not registering and when people ask, you can say "we're saving up for XYZ". Or you can register for things you will need down the road like sheets, towels and other linens that wear out.
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  • AddieL73 said:
    Run far and fast from honeymoon registries. 


    And duck into a shelter if necessary to get away from them.
  • Sheesh. I belong here for 24 hours and I've already posted two questions ... halp.

    Some background: My fiancee is a food photographer. As such, we are kind of drowning in kitchen/cooking items. We have even the most useless kitchen equipment (who needs a strawberry pitter, or a cabinet of food processors ... ?!)  

    So, in essence, we really need nothing for the house. We've lived together for three-ish years now, and we've basically purchased for ourselves every household item we need, down to the last hand towel. We want to do some minor repairs to the condo, but that's obviously not something you ask for (although we would use any money we receive toward such things). Otherwise, we're not sure what to register for, or even to register at all. 

    My idea was to register for honeymoon stuff through Honeyfund or Wanderable (we love to travel, and though we'll likely go on a honeymoon anyway, it would be wonderful to offset the costs). But my mother made some passing reference to guests paying for a honeymoon being considered "bad etiquette" by my grandmother; she said guests expect to help you furnish your new home. 

    Does anyone else have any thoughts on honeymoon registries? Are they in poor taste?

    And second question, if we don't do a honeymoon registry, what do we do instead? Is it in poor taste to simply not register, as that might make it seem like we just want envelopes of cash?

    Thanks much!

    Yes, honeymoon registries are against etiquette.  You are basically asking for cash and that is not allowed.  It is also deceiving to your guests because they think they are buying you a scuba adventure when all the company will do is write you a check at the end, with usually a percentage taken out.  So not only do you not have to actually take that scuba trip your guest picked out, but the money they used to pay for the event has a cut taken from it.

    Make a small registry, honestly you must need to upgraded towels or sheets, right?  Also, don't have a shower.  Showers are given to shower the bride with physical gifts.

  • Now you know! Glad you asked?
  • Now you know! Glad you asked?
    Ha, very.

    There is much conflicting advice out there, especially from magazines.
  • Echoing everyone else.  You don't have to register, but you may end up with a few gifts you don't necessarily want/need.  But that could happen either way! Just don't register and forego the shower.  It's not like this everywhere, but it's very rare in my circle to see a boxed gift at a wedding.  Although you may get people you give you giftcards-- I was in a foul mood once when we went to a wedding where the only registry was a HM registry.  It made me angry, and I didn't want to contribute to it, so I gave them a gift card to Target instead of cash.

  • Jen4948 said:
    AddieL73 said:
    Run far and fast from honeymoon registries. 


    And duck into a shelter if necessary to get away from them.
    I want to duck into a shelter whenever someone asks about them!

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • No matter what, you ARE probably going to get some boxed gifts. Many people feel that cash/gift cards are impersonal and would rather give something they put some thought into. I would create a small registry - There are plenty of things to register for besides kitchen items. Maybe new towels or sheets would be nice? A new vacuum or hair dryer? That way the people who really would rather not give cash can buy you something you actually want, instead of just guessing and you end up with yet another toaster.

    Honeymoon registries are a waste. If people want to give money, they'll just give it to you, no need to have the middle man. HRs keep a portion of the money you receive for themselves, when your guest can simply write you a check and know that you're getting ALL the money they want you to have.
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  • I would encourage you to consider a small registry of items for guest who prefer not to give cash as gifts (I'm one of them.)  I know you said you had more kitchen stuff than you need. What about extra sheets and towels for when you have houseguests?  Items like wall hangings or decorative items?  You can register through Amazon for just about everything - outdoor items, patio stuff, tools, sports equipment for things you enjoy doing together. You will probably get some boxed gifts regardless, so you might as well give guests an idea of things you would like to have. 
  • I wish someone had given me a sandwich when I joined! 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I second Shay in recommending a small registry of linens and nonkitchen items for guests who don't like to give cash so they have a guide of things you would like.
  • 16maybeless16maybeless member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    I will make you a picnic basket worth of sandwiches! 
  • I will make you a picnic basket worth of sandwiches! 

    I will text you to shame you for your shitty picnic basket gift.
  • I will make you a picnic basket worth of sandwiches! 
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  • AddieL73 said:
    I wish someone had given me a sandwich when I joined! 

    You at least got your cake, right?  :)
  • No, Kitty! It was MONTHS before any of these hags gave me cake!

    And now I really, really want a sandwich. But I'm making chicken. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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