My wedding is 7 weeks out now, and we’ve had quite a bit of
drama considering it’s a small-ish 2nd wedding… So here’s my latest
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My step-dad’s sister has 2 sons who are 12 and 10 years
older than my DD. When I had DD, Aunt
started hosting “adult-only” family get-togethers 3 – 4 times a year. My DD is the only child on that side of the
family other than her sons, so it’s not a space issue, but that side of the
family doesn’t really like kids so I wasn’t too surprised that DD wasn’t
welcome when she was a baby… Aunt’s sons
were always allowed to attend – not sure if it’s because they were older or
because they were her kids, but whatever…
We didn’t go to many of these get-togethers when DD was young because Ex-H
didn’t like leaving DD with a sitter who wasn’t family and the rest of the
family was at the event… When Ex and I
split up, Aunt stopped inviting me altogether.
My step-dad said it was because Aunt didn’t want me to feel bad about
leaving DD with a sitter since I was a single parent, which makes no sense to
me at all… They stopped having the
dinners about 3 years ago when my other A&U moved to LA…
Two years ago Aunt’s older son got married. DD was 16 at the time (older than her sons
were when they started going to adults-only get-togethers) but I was told
specifically she couldn’t come because the wedding was adults-only. The younger son and his GF had a baby, and
the 1 yo was allowed to attend… He is
Aunt’s grandson so I guess he got a special pass – again, whatever… Last year Aunt’s younger son got married and
again DD wasn’t invited. Since this is a
vent, let me also add that neither son sent me a thank you note for their
wedding gifts or for the baby shower gift.
This summer DD graduated from high school. We’re having her going-off-to-college party 2
days before our wedding so that my OOT relatives can attend. DD invited her grandparents to her grad
party, but didn’t invite Aunt, her sons, or their families. I thought this was fine since they don’t like
kids anyway but apparently they are miffed that they didn’t receive invitations…
Oh – and they’re all invited to our wedding *and*
Aunt has emailed me 3 times now with special requests for her grandson. She wants him seated at their table – he’s too
young to be seated at the kid’s tables, she wants to know if there’s a kids’
menu option for him (at a brunch buffet), and she wants to know if there’s a “quiet
room” at the venue in case the crowd and the music get to be too much for him… It
just cracks me up that after years of being so anti-kid to my DD, she can be so
demanding about her GS…
I know as a host, I need to be gracious and accommodating to
them at the wedding, and I will be. GS
will be seated with them and we will have a kid’s meal option – there is no specific
quiet room, but there are plenty of places they can move him to if he needs
some down-time…
However, the graduation party invitations were left up to DD. She’s never been welcome at any of their
events and she barely knows the sons and their families – she only sees them at
family holidays at my grandparent’s house once or twice a year… What do you ladies think – does she need to
suck it up and be the gracious hostess, or can they stay uninvited?
TIA for any advice...