To assign or not to assign

KatyB22 · June 2013

I'm having a formal sit-down dinner, should I assign seating? I will obviously have reserved tables for the wedding party and immediate family, but the ceremony is will be right outside our reception hall. Guests who also attended the ceremony will enter the hall through one door and guests just coming for the reception will be entering through another. This seems like it will get confusing.

AddieCake · June 2013

I prefer assigned tables, but not assigned actual seats. You often have a middle school cafeteria situation when guests are trying to find enough seats at a table for their group if you do open seating.

When you say guests just coming for the reception, do you mean that you invited certain people JUST to the reception or people who simply couldn't make the ceremony and are getting there at reception time?

loca4pook · June 2013

assigned tables for sure..

manateehugger · June 2013

Also confused at the division between between ceremony and reception guests.

I've never been to a wedding without assigned tables, so that is my personal preference.

Jen4948 · June 2013

KatyB22 said:

I'm having a formal sit-down dinner, should I assign seating? I will obviously have reserved tables for the wedding party and immediate family, but the ceremony is will be right outside our reception hall. Guests who also attended the ceremony will enter the hall through one door and guests just coming for the reception will be entering through another. This seems like it will get confusing.

For any kind of formal meal, I would definitely assign tables at least.

Actually, I would assign tables for any reception except for the very small and very informal.

Guests don't like the "school cafeteria" feeling of walking around looking for available seats-especially when they are told that seats at a table are "saved."

Fernella · June 2013

It's a formal wedding. Go with assigned seating.

JoanE2012 · June 2013

Assign tables. I hate having to scramble to find a table with people I know. Or, if I don't know anyone, it makes it awkward to have to find a table when everyone seems to know each other. A good host will be able to match up their guests to tables so everyone is comfortable.

alithebride · June 2013

assign tables.

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

I'm all about open seating for buffet or station style receptions or for very small weddings, but not in the context of a formal, sit down dinner with more than 30 or so guests. Assign tables.

Weezy56 · June 2013

Assign tables

niki&rob · June 2013

assigned tables for sure! @retreadbride you didn't have a problem because you were not worried about people being uncomfortable.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

Assigned tables is a MUST if you are offering more than one food choice. The wait staff will need to know how many of what items to bring to each table.

In my opinion, assigned seating is a MUST if you are doing a formal sit down...period. No one likes to play musical chairs. Let's say you invite 2 stag guests and they each sit at different tables. You would have 2 open seats at 2 different tables and a couple looking for 2 seats together, that doesn't exist. The only time you can get away with not making a seating chart (at least assigning tables) is for an informal social/buffet reception. In that case, not everyone would be seated at the same time.

Jen4948 · June 2013

danabreann said:

Assigned tables is a MUST if you are offering more than one food choice. The wait staff will need to know how many of what items to bring to each table.
In my opinion, assigned seating is a MUST if you are doing a formal sit down...period. No one likes to play musical chairs. Let's say you invite 2 stag guests and they each sit at different tables. You would have 2 open seats at 2 different tables and a couple looking for 2 seats together, that doesn't exist. The only time you can get away with not making a seating chart (at least assigning tables) is for an informal social/buffet reception. In that case, not everyone would be seated at the same time.

Not if there are dual entrees or table side ordering (which, let's face it, is pretty much the fanciest of the fancy dinners).

And if you have extra seating (as at least one previous poster mentioned) you don't have that second problem.

I honestly cannot decide if you are dumb or if you just think the posters who use open seating are.

Calling someone "dumb" because their opinion differs from yours is rude and immature.

Jen4948 · June 2013

AvaAdore99 said:

I wasn't saying that because her "opinion differs", I was saying it because she was flat out saying that tables MUST be assigned because of a or b. And it isn't true, there are other options which take care of these problems just as easily, should someone want open seating.

I will apologize for the word dumb, but only because I don't think it was quite what I was trying to express. Basically, it just rubs me the wrong way when people write about how you MUST have assigned seating like it's the end of the world. That isn't the case and insisting that it is really is just, well...

Yeah okay maybe dumb is the word I was looking for.

Well, many of us have experienced bad situations that were the result of no table assignments, so sorry, I don't think it's "dumb" to assign tables, and I never will. I think it's doing your guests a favor to not leave them fending for themselves and finding themselves not being able to sit together or even find seats because too many people "reserved" them.

manateehugger · June 2013

AvaAdore99 said:
I wasn't saying that because her "opinion differs", I was saying it because she was flat out saying that tables MUST be assigned because of a or b. And it isn't true, there are other options which take care of these problems just as easily, should someone want open seating.

I will apologize for the word dumb, but only because I don't think it was quite what I was trying to express. Basically, it just rubs me the wrong way when people write about how you MUST have assigned seating like it's the end of the world. That isn't the case and insisting that it is really is just, well...

Yeah okay maybe dumb is the word I was looking for.

Good Lord, did you stop to think that maybe she forgot to think about table side ordering (especially because it's not utilized at your everyday wedding)? You could have just said "I know what you're saying, but that wouldn't be true in circumstance A." Instead you insulted her intelligence.

Your nastiness is showing.

Jen4948 · June 2013

AvaAdore99 said:

I didn't say it was dumb to assign tables.

I said it was dumb to insist that every group everywhere must assign tables. If you come from somewhere where assigned tables are not the norm, then assigning them will cause every bit as much as confusion and uproar as not assigning them for you guys would.

You're sticking your foot further into your mouth the more defensive you get over your inappropriate use of the word "dumb."

Do your toenails taste good? Do you need some flavoring for your instep?

winelover123 · June 2013

Well that's quite a cranky response.

AvaAdore99 said:

I wasn't saying that because her "opinion differs", I was saying it because she was flat out saying that tables MUST be assigned because of a or b. And it isn't true, there are other options which take care of these problems just as easily, should someone want open seating.

I will apologize for the word dumb, but only because I don't think it was quite what I was trying to express. Basically, it just rubs me the wrong way when people write about how you MUST have assigned seating like it's the end of the world. That isn't the case and insisting that it is really is just, well...

Yeah okay maybe dumb is the word I was looking for.

AllieBear725 · June 2013

AvaAdore99 said:

I didn't say it was dumb to assign tables.

I said it was dumb to insist that every group everywhere must assign tables. If you come from somewhere where assigned tables are not the norm, then assigning them will cause every bit as much as confusion and uproar as not assigning them for you guys would.

No, you're right. You called HER dumb, not her opinion. Sorry but last I checked people can have different opinions on the interwebz.

I have been to both weddings with assigned seating and without, and I prefer having assigned tables.

bunni727 · June 2013

This seating issue is one of those that really does vary according to what guests are used to.

Open seating is the norm in my area, and assigned seating (the one time I've heard of it happening irl) is seen as controlling and unnecessary.

Assigned seating definitely works better for those who are used to it, and I can see how open seating would be intimidating.

As long as there is ample seating, with extras if open, and everyone is treated equally, I don't see either option as dumb. The best thing to do is whatever would make your guests most comfortable.

And please invite everyone to every part of the wedding.

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