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Heirloom Engagement Ring

peaches827peaches827 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi Everyone!

I just got engaged to an amazing man who gave me his Grandmother's engagement ring. This ring was very important to his grandmother and for his mother to so readily give my fiance her mother's ring is extremely touching. I want to acknowledge how appreciative I am but don't quite know the right way to go about it. I was thinking a thank you note would be good but what should I write? Is that the best way to go? Thanks!
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Re: Heirloom Engagement Ring

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think a verbal thank-you would work better in this situation. The next time you see her let her know how much you appreciate her passing down the ring.


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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Definitely verbal. I think a note would come off as not genuine since this is such a big thing to give someone. 
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited June 2013
    I agree that a heartfelt verbal thank you (and a big hug if you feel the urge!) would be appropriate. Actually, this whole post just makes my heart smile.

    P.S.- welcome and congratulations.
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I agree that a heartfelt thank you in person would be best. I too was given an heirloom engagement ring, and when given the chance I let my MIL know how much it meant to me and what an honor it was to be wearing her grandmother's ring (yes--I have H's great-grandma's ring!! so special). :)
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  • SapphireCounselorSapphireCounselor member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I also have my Fi's grandmother's ring. :) She passed many years ago, but I have made a concierted over the past two years of our engagement to learn what I could about her. I also made sure to let my Fmil know how much the gesture meant to me since she was the one who gave it to my Fi. We are actually honoring his grandmother with a special message on our programs. His grandmother was a HUGE lord of the rings fan and was always into the whole "Frodo lives" thing...so we actually put "Frodo Lives" in smallish font on the corner of our programs. I can guarantee you that everyone on Fi's side of the family will notice that.
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  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper

    Congrats!

    I have my memere's engagement ring, and it's very special to me!  My mom offered it (since she got it after memere passed) to FI and I when I told her we were considering getting engaged.  I'm so happy to have it, as she was very special to me.  Before I accepted it, I asked my mom to make sure my pepere was ok with it, which he was.  I thanked my mom, but also thanked my pepere in person.  He told me to take care of it, and that he was really happy for me and FI and knew memere would be too.  He was very supportive of us and our relationship. 

    I highly recommend a verbal thank you!  :)

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  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd actually go with both. I think the verbal thank you is important from an etiquette standpoint, but I really like receiving (and giving!) handwritten notes as well. I have a whole box full of them - not standard "thank you for the coffee pot" notes, but things that are personal, that I enjoy looking through from time to time. But you know your fmil best - you can decide if that's something she would be likely to keep or not.
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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    We had my Grandma's ring reset to fit me (same three stones, same general style of setting, but slightly different on detail and white gold over yellow). After we got the ring and before we got engaged, I wrote her a thank you note as to how much I appreciated her giving it to me (I am inheriting it anyway, but she gave it early) and how I'd always have a part of her with me, etc. She LOVED the note.

    Do send a note to FMIL. Don't overdo it, but definitely tell her how much you appreciate the gesture and how special it is to you. :)

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  • daisey18daisey18 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper

     The whole idea of not sending a note because it seems less personal must be a generational thing- thank her profusely in person AND by handwritten note, as PP's have mentioned.

     

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