Unwanted bridesmaid opinion

Kris10sd1010 · June 2013

jarednmegan · June 2013

I think you should just shrug it off and move on. If she's the only person who's seen it and doesn't like it, that should tell you something. Especially if she's only seen a picture of it.

I don't think your BM did anything wrong...she wasn't rude in telling you she didn't like the dress. She just gave her opinion, which I understand might have been hard to hear. But still. It's not worth getting upset about, IMO.

ETA: When she said "Maybe I just need to see it in person," I wonder if she was offering the olive branch because she saw you were offended. Cut her some slack, she was probably trying to be kind.

DixieNormous330 · June 2013

If you like it that's all that matters.

dharmabunny · June 2013

Are you so thin-skinned and devoid of self-assurance that if one person isn't as enamored with your dress as you are, that it matters THIS much?

Did you actually mention that you paid for the dress already by the time the BM saw the pics?

hmonkey · June 2013

go out and pick the ugliest bm dress you can find and make her wear it.

zsazsa-stl · June 2013

If you didn't want any neutral or negative opinions, then why are you dragging half the town around to look at dresses? You like the dress. Why does it matter what she thinks? She doesn't have to wear it. Quit fishing for validation if you can't handle even a slight hesitation.

AuntFlo · June 2013

You're being oversensitive. Period.

tawillers · June 2013

I'm with zsa. It's a little misleading to call it an "unwanted opinion". You wanted her opinion, it just wasn't what you'd like to hear.

She doesn't need to like the dress. Move on.

Kris10sd1010 · June 2013

I do agree with everyone, although to clear something up, I did not ask for her opinion. Yes I did invite her, because she had previously told me she was sad she hadn't gone with me yet and wanted to be there. After I purchased the dress, I uploaded the picture into a private online bridesmaid group, where she saw the pictures.

And by bringing my sisters and one bridesmaid, I would definatly not call that "dragging half the town."

I felt that I might have been being over sensitive, given the timing, thats why I asked for opionions.

And yes, she did know that I already purchased the dress.

jarednmegan · June 2013

zsazsa-stl said:

If you didn't want any neutral or negative opinions, then why are you dragging half the town around to look at dresses? You like the dress. Why does it matter what she thinks? She doesn't have to wear it. Quit fishing for validation if you can't handle even a slight hesitation.

This is great advice, and exactly why the only people who were around when I tried on dresses were my mom and the shop clerk.

It's nice to have input, but too much input can drive most people crazy when it comes to making a decision.

dharmabunny · June 2013

TristyDawn said:
I do agree with everyone, although to clear something up, I did not ask for her opinion. Yes I did invite her, because she had previously told me she was sad she hadn't gone with me yet and wanted to be there. After I purchased the dress, I uploaded the picture into a private online bridesmaid group, where she saw the pictures.

And by bringing my sisters and one bridesmaid, I would definatly not call that "dragging half the town."

I felt that I might have been being over sensitive, given the timing, thats why I asked for opionions.

And yes, she did know that I already purchased the dress.

I'm wondering if this is the dynamic. Less than enthused friend felt (or knew) bride to be was going to chase her down to the ends of the earth for an opinion (or validation). So rather than get caught uncomfortably squirming at a bad time and having a bridal hissy on her hands, she'd just get the whole thing done and over with quickly, a little more on her terms. My guess, friend's not a yes-girl, and knew she was going to be dealing with a bride to be that wants one.

jarednmegan · June 2013

dharmabunny said:

I'm wondering if this is the dynamic. Less than enthused friend felt (or knew) bride to be was going to chase her down to the ends of the earth for an opinion (or validation). So rather than get caught uncomfortably squirming at a bad time and having a bridal hissy on her hands, she'd just get the whole thing done and over with quickly, a little more on her terms. My guess, friend's not a yes-girl, and knew she was going to be dealing with a bride to be that wants one.

What she said.

MissMolly · June 2013

My parents taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, it was best to say nothing at all. Personally, if I were in your friend's position (and I've been there), I'd have kept my mouth shut. Last year, I was a bridesmaid for a girl who's now a former friend. Her dress was definitely not something I'd have ever picked off the rack and said "wow, this is beautiful", however, it suited her to a tee, and it was totally her style, which is what I told her when she asked. And, she looked absolutely lovely on her wedding day!

If I were you, however, yeah, I'd probably be put off by the comment, but it's YOUR dress, and YOU love it, and that should be what matters. If her opinion does mean that much to you though, she probably should've been along during the shopping trip.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

I agree with the others. When I went shopping for my dress I only brought my Mom and sister. Their opinions were the ones that truly mattered to me. Back when my dad was still in my life he made fun of the dress that I picked out. I just shrugged and said, "Well, it's a good thing you're not wearing the dress" and adjusted the veil I was trying on with the dress. You love the dress, that's all that matters. Be happy and content with your choice and move on.

pesematology · June 2013

If your decision is made, stop asking opinions. Just tell her that you love the dress and it makes you feel good. People get that.

I know some of my favorite clothes look a little weird but people don't care because they notice whether you're happy more than they notice your clothes.

natmull · June 2013

If you loved it, who cares. Also, like she said, she may need to see it in person. Sometimes, things in picture form, especially on a phone or the computer, don't look the the same as they do when someone tries it on. However, I do think she was being a tad rude by just blurting it out way after you bought it. Maybe someone is jealous?

zsazsa-stl · June 2013

natmull said:

If you loved it, who cares. Also, like she said, she may need to see it in person. Sometimes, things in picture form, especially on a phone or the computer, don't look the the same as they do when someone tries it on. However, I do think she was being a tad rude by just blurting it out way after you bought it. Maybe someone is jealous?

Yes, that must be it.

tawillers · June 2013

zsazsa-stl said:

natmull said:

If you loved it, who cares. Also, like she said, she may need to see it in person. Sometimes, things in picture form, especially on a phone or the computer, don't look the the same as they do when someone tries it on. However, I do think she was being a tad rude by just blurting it out way after you bought it. Maybe someone is jealous?

Yes, that must be it.

::forehead smack::

Unwanted bridesmaid opinion

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