Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you say something?

So a cousin of H's that we are not close to was married last month. We declined because it's a 6 hour drive for us and was on a Sunday, plus we never talk to said cousin. We did not send a gift, again, because we are not close to them at all.

Yesterday we get a Thank You card in the mail saying they were sorry they missed us, blah blah blah, and thank you for the bathroom set. That we didn't send.

The ILs went and we thought maybe they put our name on their gift or something, but nope. They gave cash. So I am worried that the person who actually gave them this bathroom set will now not be getting a thank you card. But I also feel awkward calling up a cousin we never talk to and saying, "Thanks for the thank you card, but we didn't get you a bathroom set."

Would you just let it go?


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Re: Would you say something?

  • If you don't want to call, maybe a quick email or a message on Facebook? Mention how sorry you are that you couldn't make it.
  • OK I will have H track down their number. Thanks!


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  • I heard of someone who sent thank you notes to people who didn't send gifts thanking them for things they didn't give them to try to guilt them into getting them a gift. I have no idea why this would work because I wouldn't up and buy a gift for someone just because they mistakenly sent me a thank you card for something I didn't give them. My friend that received it didn't know how to respond, so she did buy a gift so she could say they hadn't had a chance to send their gift yet, but they hadn't purchased "xyz" for them to ensure the correct person received a thank you for it. She later found out that it had been done purposely. I often wonder what is wrong with people. 
  • Gumby that is bizarre! :(
  • Yeah that's really bizarre and dumb to do something like that. Hopefully that's not the case here. Regardless, we're not sending a gift, so if it was, their plan didn't work!


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