Jesus people, please come in

Heffalump · June 2013

A church that the Wooz and I pass on the way to school is advertising their upcoming "clown ministry." Is this something you've experienced? Is it as awful as it sounds? (Disclaimer: I'm one of those people who doesn't like clowns, so I may be biased. Not terrified, but I would not go out of my way to see one.) Google was not as helpful as I'd hoped--apparently clown ministry is not a big thing yet. (Darn.) Just very curious.

alikatt17 · June 2013

What in the fresh hell?

mrsconn23 · June 2013

That's something I'd run screaming from.

I hope DefConn's as afraid of clowns as I am. Then I will have someone in my corner around here.

NOLABridesmaid · June 2013

I have no idea what this is, and you know I am a Jesus person. My first thought was maybe a play on words to describe a church message about insincere ministers, but now I want to know.

Heffalump · June 2013

My dad's wife punched a clown at Circus! Circus! once. She has not always shown good judgment.

jarednmegan · June 2013

Clowns are NEVER, EVER OK. I'd be more than a little embarrassed if my church started a clown ministry. But they wouldn't, because they know better. I'm sure of it.

Again, as on another thread, I'm reminded of the Bridezillas episode featuring Ivy, whose mother threatens to hire a clown for the reception.

*shivers*

GBCK · June 2013

It is something I've experienced ad it is about what you'd expect.

EVERY damn year, at the county fair, we'd run into Mrs. B (wife of a former pastor) being a clown.

Because we were polite children and because my parents were...uh...themselves, EVERY year, for 40 minutes, at the county fair, we'd be herded into a fake noah's ark, where we were the kids used to lure other kids in for the clown and puppet show.

I am going to see if I can scare up a picture....

This is the same Mrs. B who ran the 'eager beavers' club" through church and whose son caused no end of angst by being the stereotypical excessively jerky pastor's kid.

jarednmegan · June 2013

GBCK said:

It is something I've experienced ad it is about what you'd expect.

EVERY damn year, at the county fair, we'd run into Mrs. B (wife of a former pastor) being a clown.
Because we were polite children and because my parents were...uh...themselves, EVERY year, for 40 minutes, at the county fair, we'd be herded into a fake noah's ark, where we were the kids used to lure other kids in for the clown and puppet show.
I am going to see if I can scare up a picture....

This is the same Mrs. B who ran the 'eager beavers' club" through church and whose son caused no end of angst by being the stereotypical excessively jerky pastor's kid.

And THIS is why so many people don't like Jesus.

NOLABridesmaid · June 2013

Now, I need H's Jesus pic that says, "You can't blame this on me."

jarednmegan · June 2013

NOLABridesmaid said:

Now, I need H's Jesus pic that says, "You can't blame this on me."

Or, "I'm Jesus Christ and I do not approve this message."

AuntFlo · June 2013

I f-ing hate clowns.

I went to a Christian university, and we had a mime ministry. It was creepy as h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

And when I was in HS, I actually participated in a puppet ministry. Hangs head in shame...

hmonkey · June 2013

jarednmegan · June 2013

AuntFlo said:

I f-ing hate clowns.
I went to a Christian university, and we had a mime ministry. It was creepy as h-e-double-hockey-sticks.
And when I was in HS, I actually participated in a puppet ministry. Hangs head in shame...

I don't think puppet ministries are so bad, but that's probably because I don't think puppets are creepy. Our church has one that's mostly active during children's church.

I just think, as a rule, that anything that has a reputation of being creepy, like clowns, shouldn't be used for ministry purposes.

jarednmegan · June 2013

hmonkey said:

Perfect.

NOLABridesmaid · June 2013

Yes. That's it.

GBCK · June 2013

I can't find a picture of Mrs. B in her clown get up--only in her normal clothes.

But, google makes me think these ministries are 90% the same.

6fsn · June 2013

All I can think of is @zsa-zsastl and her hosting the ventriloquist.

DG1 · June 2013

Ha! I am also waiting for Zsa to weigh in with the ventriloquist.

Oface4eva · June 2013

Now all I can think of is a bleeding heart Jesus photo complete with clown makeup.

*silent scream*

jarednmegan · June 2013

Oface4eva said:

Now all I can think of is a bleeding heart Jesus photo complete with clown makeup.

*silent scream*

I think usually (hopefully!) they just dress like typical clowns.

DG1 · June 2013

Speaking of - did anyone follow @TheTweetofGod or @JesusNeedsNewPR during the tightrope thing? It was freaking hilarious.

https://twitter.com/thetweetofgod (atheist satire)

https://twitter.com/jesusneedsnewpr (actual forward-thinking christian person)

VarunaTT · June 2013

I love @tweetofgod. I do not have anything nice to say about a clown ministry, so I'm not saying anything at all.

jarednmegan · June 2013

DG1 said:

Speaking of - did anyone follow @TheTweetofGod or @JesusNeedsNewPR during the tightrope thing? It was freaking hilarious.

https://twitter.com/thetweetofgod (atheist satire)
https://twitter.com/jesusneedsnewpr (actual forward-thinking christian person)

I love @JesusNeedsNewPR. I followed it on my old Twitter account and apparently haven't been doing so on my new one...until just now, that is.

6fsn · June 2013

This is also a grammar lesson. I kept reading the title as "Jesus, people come in" as in wake up ww.

zsazsa-stl · June 2013

Churches are filled with people with terrible ideas about how to share the love of Jesus. Ventriloquists and clowns are sent by the devil to infiltrate the flock and creep everyone the hell out.

I was once at a church service where clowns came out and did a little act with a baby that you learned was supposed to be baby Jesus. Then they unwrapped the "baby" to show that it was a loaf of bread and turned it into communion. Get it? The body of Christ? I really wanted to squirt them all in the face with seltzer.

jarednmegan · June 2013

zsazsa-stl said:

Churches are filled with people with terrible ideas about how to share the love of Jesus. Ventriloquists and clowns are sent by the devil to infiltrate the flock and creep everyone the hell out.

zsazsa-stl said:

I was once at a church service where clowns came out and did a little act with a baby that you learned was supposed to be baby Jesus. Then they unwrapped the "baby" to show that it was a loaf of bread and turned it into communion. Get it? The body of Christ? I really wanted to squirt them all in the face with seltzer.

What denomination were these people affiliated with?! That's the most disgusting church story I've ever heard.

VarunaTT · June 2013

Oh please. All churches denominations have their shows. I sat through a Hell's Gates Heaven's Doors (or something like that) production that involved a man coming out dressed as the devil, shaking a plastic baggie full of white powder and stating, "My salvation comes in little plastic bags". The friend who brought me, in an attempt to save my soul, though I was crying b/c I was touched. I was nice enough to not share that it was from the pain of holding in my laughter.

hmonkey · June 2013

liturgical dancers, y'all.

Wonderw1fe said:

I finally figured out why I can't stand liturgical dance. They're not really dancing! It's just a bunch of arm-waving and bowing. Plus, NONE of the dancing girls were smiling. They all looked dead in the face, just flailing and bowing and whatnot. They had the same facial expressions as jaded strippers. For reals. It was awful. And it went on for-farkin-ever. But finally it ended.

baconsmom · June 2013

baconsmom · June 2013

I don't know what happened there. Sorry.

Jesus people, please come in

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