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Addressing invitations where I do not know the husband

jupiter_oskijupiter_oski
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I have been looking over the proper way to address invitations, and it always seems to have the husband's name listed before the wife's name for married couples.  However, what if the main person who I want to invite is the wife (and the husband would then be her guest), and I don't personally know the husband (or I don't know him very well), but I do know his name?  Would I still have to put the husband's name first on the invitation, even if the husband doesn't know me yet?  Or can the wife's name be listed first on the invitation because the wife knows me?

By the way, I am using only an outer envelope, no inner envelope.
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Re: Addressing invitations where I do not know the husband

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    The correct way to address them does not change based on who you know.  If you do not use titles, you would properly use Sue and John Smith.  Some people use Mr. and Mrs. Sue and Jim Smith also.  
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ditto MNIN.  Nothing changes based on whether or not you know the spouse. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Whether you know the spouse or not, or how well you know the spouse, you find out the spouse's name and invite them as Mr. and Mrs. or as Ms. Wife and Mr. Husband.
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  • jupiter_oskijupiter_oski
    First Comment
    Yes, I understand that both names need to be listed, but I was asking specifically, the order.  Does it NOT always have to be the man's name first?

    Jen4948--Are you saying that if I want to list the wife first (because she's the person I know, and not the husband), I should say "Ms. Wife and Mr. Husband" and not "Mrs. Wife and Mr. Husband"?  That is, should I not be using "Mrs." but only "Ms." if I list the wife's name first?
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Huh?!? Your logic is lost on me... Who you know is irrelevant.  Address all of them the same way.
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  • meg2marryshanemeg2marryshane member
    5 Love Its First Comment

    I don't think this looks right at all and it just doesn't make sense:

     

    Mr. and Mrs. Sue and Jim Smith

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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    It should be Mr and Mrs Jim Smith, or the above.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Actually, it should be Mr. And Mrs. James Smith.
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Just for the record, not every "Jim" is a "James"...my FMIL is Becky...not Rebecca.  Don't always assume on names.

     

    I addressed all of mine as "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Smith" format.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jupiter_oski said:
    Yes, I understand that both names need to be listed, but I was asking specifically, the order.  Does it NOT always have to be the man's name first?

    Jen4948--Are you saying that if I want to list the wife first (because she's the person I know, and not the husband), I should say "Ms. Wife and Mr. Husband" and not "Mrs. Wife and Mr. Husband"?  That is, should I not be using "Mrs." but only "Ms." if I list the wife's name first?
    Actually, I was just referring to whether or not they have and use the same last name as Mr. and Mrs. out of preference.  Traditionally, couples were "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" but now there are all sorts of possibilities.  If they do go by "Mr. and Mrs. Husband," then that's what you should use.  Otherwise, put the wife first.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    NYCMercedes said:
    Actually, it should be Mr. And Mrs. James Smith.
    The word "and" wouldn't be capitalized when it's between "Mr." and "Mrs."
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2013
    Opps. Thank you, Jen and mlg.
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