Found our dream venue, but do we have to have nice food?

owusudanielswedding · June 2013

I found our dream venue but it is twice what we wanted to spend on the venue. Is it tacky to do a smaller dinner or hor douvre type dinner with a nice venue?The venue is in the mountains in a wooded area so the theme is vintage rustic. We aren't big foodies so we could care less what we serve but don't want others not happy. I want to book the venue but worried about the other costs!

QueerFemme · June 2013

owusudanielswedding said:

I found our dream venue but it is twice what we wanted to spend on the venue. Is it tacky to do a smaller dinner or hor douvre type dinner with a nice venue?The venue is in the mountains in a wooded area so the theme is vintage rustic. We aren't big foodies so we could care less what we serve but don't want others not happy. I want to book the venue but worried about the other costs!

Don't spend a fortune on a venue, just so you can have pretty photos, and then short change your guests on food and drinks.

The reception is a thank you to your guests. You should properly host them. If you want your dream venue, and want to only serve appetizers, have your wedding at a non-meal time, and recognize, that those receptions are typically shorter.

You can do your ceremony at 7:30-8:00pm and then host your reception at 8pm-11pmish. Or have an afternoon ceremony. 2pm, reception over by 5:30.

For real though. If I was a guest that went to a wedding at what is clearly an expensive venue, and someone served cheese & crackers, I would seriously side-eye them. What you offer at your reception really should match the venue.

daisey18 · June 2013

You say the venue is "in the mountains"- if you and your guests do not live in the mountains, and they have to drive more than 45 minutes or so to get there- a decent meal is a definite must.

I lived in the mountains for about 20 years, and was used to driving 30 minutes minimum for groceries. There were never any "nearby" restaurants that were usually open AND could seat more than 20 people. Even if you're hosting at a non-meal time, if you have guests who might get famished and want to grab something before or after, and just can't because there's no where to go to- that would not be fun.

KerisaHarman21 · June 2013

daisey18 said:

You say the venue is "in the mountains"- if you and your guests do not live in the mountains, and they have to drive more than 45 minutes or so to get there- a decent meal is a definite must.
I lived in the mountains for about 20 years, and was used to driving 30 minutes minimum for groceries. There were never any "nearby" restaurants that were usually open AND could seat more than 20 people. Even if you're hosting at a non-meal time, if you have guests who might get famished and want to grab something before or after, and just can't because there's no where to go to- that would not be fun.

I agree, a decent meal is a must, if your worried about costs, pasta is a lot cheaper than a meat or fish dinner usually would be and it tends to be more filling as well. You don't have to give a ton of options but they atleast deserve a decent meal for the drive alone.

JoanE2012 · June 2013

owusudanielswedding said:

I found our dream venue but it is twice what we wanted to spend on the venue. Is it tacky to do a smaller dinner or hor douvre type dinner with a nice venue?The venue is in the mountains in a wooded area so the theme is vintage rustic. We aren't big foodies so we could care less what we serve but don't want others not happy. I want to book the venue but worried about the other costs!

If I went to a "dream" venue and found the food lacking, I'd be really disappointed. I'd MUCH rather go to a less pretty venue but have kick ass food. People remember the food, not the venue's room.

hyechica81 · June 2013

you want to wow your guest if you have a expensive venue and crapy food people will be like i gave her this much as wedding gift and i got this in return they talk good weddings people remember it bad weddings people talk to make a point that it was bad

NOLAbridealmost · June 2013

owusudanielswedding said:

I found our dream venue but it is twice what we wanted to spend on the venue. Is it tacky to do a smaller dinner or hor douvre type dinner with a nice venue?The venue is in the mountains in a wooded area so the theme is vintage rustic. We aren't big foodies so we could care less what we serve but don't want others not happy. I want to book the venue but worried about the other costs!

This is a bad idea. If you have a meal time reception (anything falling even partly between 11-1:30 or 5-8) you must serve a full meal. If the venue is extravagant, you really should do a full meal otherwise it just seems odd. Guests will be expecting a ritzy affair if you're getting married at a ritzy venue....don't disappoint them.

Sue-n-Kevin · June 2013

Not sure what you mean by "smaller meal", but I do know that appetizers (enough to constitute a meal, 10-15 per person) will often be as much or more than a budget meal. It takes a lot of work to put together appetizers, people + hours = high cost.

If your reception is at a meal time, you have to serve something to satisfy your guests. As was said above, pasta is a reasonable, budget friendly option. You can have a salad, a pasta meal, some budget friendly side dishes, bread and rolls. If you are having alcohol (which can be as much or more than the food), simply offer beer, wine and maybe a signature drink.

Is this a venue where you bring in your own caterer and supply the alcohol? Or, does the venue provide this? If you bring in your own, it's not always cheaper. See if there are gourmet food stores that also do catering. Around here there are a few (major metropolitan area), and they are often more willing to negotiate because they also make profits on their store, not just the catering, like a standard "caterer-only".

If the venue supplies the catering, speak directly with some immediately about the costs and affordable options for a meal.

There are a couple of other options: choose another venue, or wait another year, save like crazy and then you may be able to afford both the venue and a meal to serve your guests.

kmmssg · July 2013

People remember food, booze, and music from weddings. If you serve crappy food they will remember crappy food, NOT an awesome venue. When people remember crappy food that is what they talk about when your wedding is mentioned.

Jen4948 · July 2013

Bad food is something people remember from weddings. So you need to have a decent meal.

There aren't too many absolute musts about weddings, but this is one of them.

owusudanielswedding · July 2013

What I meant by the food was that instead of having steak & sides, I meant doing things like a slider station, pasta station, and other food items that weren't as costly. The venue is in a mountain setting but 10 minutes from a well populated area. I am definitely going to feed my guests and want it to be good food but also want the food to represent who we are as a couple. I can bring in my own alcohol so I can save money by doing that but the caterer is a set caterer but is known for working with any kind of budget. It is definitely not a ritzy venue because that is not who we are, they offer a lot of pluses and bonuses and that is what makes it more expensive...

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

However you do it, you should serve a meal if the reception is at meal time. Be it family style, plated, strolling or buffet, I would serve meal food. Whether you choose steak or pasta is up to you. You'll know when you do a tasting if the food matches the venue. I would caution you against stations as a way to save money. We are doing stations and we're paying A LOT more than if we did plated or buffet. It was what we wanted so it's fine but it was definitely NOT a cost saver.

Other ways to cut costs are to cut your guest list. It's probably not your first choice, but it saves a ton of money. Cut unnecessaries like favors, programs, frou frou decorations, etc. Keep in mind the reception is a thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony.

SBmini · July 2013

If your theme is rustic, why not look into family style food options. Like BBQ or lasagnas that feed a lot of people for not a lot of money.

coolwhipz1 · July 2013

FierceFemme said:

owusudanielswedding said:

I found our dream venue but it is twice what we wanted to spend on the venue. Is it tacky to do a smaller dinner or hor douvre type dinner with a nice venue?The venue is in the mountains in a wooded area so the theme is vintage rustic. We aren't big foodies so we could care less what we serve but don't want others not happy. I want to book the venue but worried about the other costs!

Don't spend a fortune on a venue, just so you can have pretty photos, and then short change your guests on food and drinks.
The reception is a thank you to your guests. You should properly host them. If you want your dream venue, and want to only serve appetizers, have your wedding at a non-meal time, and recognize, that those receptions are typically shorter.
You can do your ceremony at 7:30-8:00pm and then host your reception at 8pm-11pmish. Or have an afternoon ceremony. 2pm, reception over by 5:30.
For real though. If I was a guest that went to a wedding at what is clearly an expensive venue, and someone served cheese & crackers, I would seriously side-eye them. What you offer at your reception really should match the venue.

I agree with this. If you cant afford food at the venue than you cant afford the venue......

AnnastasiaZ · October 2013

during my own planning process i have been told by many of people that the most important part of a wedding, that people remember are the food/ drinks and entertainment. I also agree with the others that say about stations costing more than an actual sit down dinner. In the end the decision is yours if you would rather sacrifice entertainment and food for an awesome venue but don't be surprised when your guests are disappointment i went to a wedding once where they served food at like 10:30pm no appetizers and the food was horrible we left so hungry and annoyed .

I do love the idea of stations though, i went to an event that had mashed potato bar omg it was amazing.

-good luck

Found our dream venue, but do we have to have nice food?

Re: Found our dream venue, but do we have to have nice food?

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