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Long Engagement Registry

FutureMrsToalFutureMrsToal member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiancé and I are planning on having a two year engagement. We don't live together yet and are planning on waiting until closer to the date to get a place together. Even though the wedding is a ways off my mother is throwing us an engagement party this fall to celebrate and bring the different families together. I was unaware that people brought gifts to the engagement party, but she said that some guests may bring gifts and that we should register, but I feel like its too soon and things will end up being discontinued also, we don't know what our new place will look like. I'm wondering if it would be a better idea to create a small registry of inexpensive gifts for the engagement party and then add to it much later when we're closer to my bridal shower. Any thoughts or suggestions on the matter? Or better yet has anyone been in this situation before? 
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Re: Long Engagement Registry

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I have only been invited to one engagement party. I didn't go but sent a congratulatory card. Honestly, I would never bring a gift to an engagement party, nor would I expect to receive one. I'm supposed to give a gift just because you got engaged and then another when the event takes place, possibly a third if I'm invited to the shower? No thanks. I know some people DO give gifts, but I think registering for an engagement party is like registering for a houswarming party. I would side-eye it and think the couple was soliciting gifts. 


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  • Kate McCayKate McCay member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments First Answer 5 Love Its
    I just had my engagement party last weekend.  I was not expecting anything at all and I just wanted to celebrate with people.  Almost everyone gave us a card with a gift card.  No physical gifts. I wouldn't register since it is so far away.


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  • FutureMrsToalFutureMrsToal member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks for your comment. I didn't even realize that people did bring gifts because I just assumed it was a casual get together for our families. until my mother reminded me that at my brother's engagement party almost everyone brought them a gift. I really felt uneasy about registering so soon though; good thing I know I have time to wait. 
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  • FutureMrsToalFutureMrsToal member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Same I've only been to one and it was my brother's a few years ago. I wasn't planning on even having one (as to save money), but my mother figured since the wedding is so far from now it would nice to bring everyone together sooner and to get everyone excited for the future festivities. I'm definitely not expecting gifts, but I have read on a few forums that its okay to register before the engagement party for different reasons, but two years before the wedding just seems like way to early for me. 
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    If anything I'd do a small registry maybe with some picture frames?  I'd give a gift...and we did receive a couple gifts from ours, both of which were picture frames (though our whole registry was set up early on in our 9 month engagement).
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Typical engagement party gifts are things like picture frames, wine, etc.  It's not usually registry gifts.

    I wouldn't start a registry now unless party guests start asking.  
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  • courtneythesquidcourtneythesquid member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    You could register for a small number of items, and only advise where the registry is if you are specifically asked.  But I would not do a full registry- you would be surprised how frequently stuff turns over in the stores, if you register for everything, you will have to delete and re-register for so many items.  And I wouldn't register for anything that is part of a "set"- you don't want your China pattern to get discontinued with just a handful of items purchased.
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  • emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    My aunts and uncles demanded that we register for our engagement party so they would know what to get us. They still ended up accidentally buying us the same damn platter. Oh well. Stupid registries.
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  • GB520GB520 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Lobster1987 said:
    Engagement parties should be thrown within 3 months of the engagement...waiting until this fall to have an engagement party would be tacky...
    I agree. Actually know people having one ten months after engagement happened. I registered shortly after we were engaged because the magazines and articles said to in case people want to get you something. We are having an engagement party in 2 weeks and honestly I don't care about any gifts I just want to see my friends and family. 
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  • Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Just as another perspective - My engagement party is this Saturday. We weren't expecting gifts for the engagement party, or the wedding to be honest. I didn't even think about registering for either.

    Every friend I invited has contacted me asking what to get us, which caught me off guard. My mum told me that relatives have contacted her asking the same question. So, I suppose some people (apparently everyone I'm inviting) do like to give gifts at an engagement party. We weren't going to do a wedding registry originally, but we probably will now since I assume they will want to get us a wedding present as well.

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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You could just start a registry with simple things that you will definitely need, such as towels, cutlery, etc, without going all-out.  Or you could just start one and if things get discontinued or change somehow, then you can switch something or add to the list.
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Lobster1987 said:
    Engagement parties should be thrown within 3 months of the engagement...waiting until this fall to have an engagement party would be tacky...

    @Lobster1987 Why is that tacky?  I got engaged this summer and am having my engagement part in the fall.  I want my grandmother to be there and it’s difficult for her to travel, but she will be in town that weekend.  I know she would hate to miss it, so I’m accommodating her schedule.  If anyone thinks that’s tacky, then they don’t have to come.

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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    @Lobster1987 I understand that most people have them right away, but I don’t think it’s “tacky” to have it just past the 3 month mark.  I’m not expecting anyone from out of town to come in for it (although some still are), and I wanted my grandmother to be able to be there, particularly because my engagement ring used to belong to her mother.  Besides, I’m having a 2-year engagement, so the wedding is still over a year and a half after the engagement party.

    I just think it’s a little rude to prejudge anyone having an engagement party a little after the 3-month window as “tacky.” 

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    If you're getting pressured, register for a few basics like kitchen utensils, or neutral colored bath towels. I would keep the items small in size, because you're going to have to store them for a very long time.

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  • ahende04ahende04 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    At my engagement party last fall I asked for people NOT to bring things when they asked....and of course I got things anyway. Now I have a large Hope Chest (thanks mom!) and I put gifts in it that people get us until we use them as a couple. Other gifts included gift cards and neutral towels. I would just forget the registry and let people bring what they see fit. If it is something that you won't use or will hold on to for a while put in where you think you will store wedding purchases such as decorations that you will hold on to until the big day. My hope chest is full of decorations (to re-vamp after my sisters wedding), gifts we have gotten as well as other small things we have purchased....and we still have a little over a year!!!
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  • mlarchwedsmlarchweds member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    If you read any modern day blog other than the knot, people tell you all the time you don't have to follow EVERY single rule. Throw your engagement party whenever you want, but realize that EVERYONE you invite has to be invited to wedding. Some people won't be able to make your bridal shower, so they can come to this and what not. 

    I would avoid registering for anything like plate settings because what you like now could change or be discontinued. It would really suck if someone bought you some pieces or a place setting but then it was discontinued before you could complete it. 
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  • KimB603KimB603 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    I don't think it's tacky at all.  I've been to engagement parties thrown after 3 months ranging from backyard bbqs to formal, catered evening events.  NEVER did I hear a guest, friend, or anyone associated with these events express anything but happiness for the couple, certainly never a remark about how technically the party should have happened weeks ago according to the rules of etiquette.  

    None of the ones I've been to had registries, but most guests brought a thoughtful card and a gift card or check.
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